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Featured Replies

  • Popular Post
13 hours ago, Iceman said:

I will ask in the morning.

If so, that is dumb as hell.  We walk through the snow and ice all week to perimeter spots while the freeloaders just sit in the prime spots because they never fucking move.  and I am paying for a 6 night stay.

Yeah, pure horseshit.

You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport?  What the everliving fuck?

Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning.  That's it.

If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human.

13 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I’ve stayed at airport adjacent properties before that allow travelers who book a night before a trip, to leave their cars in the lot for the duration of their trips.  Are you certain that isn’t what is happening here?

There's an app I've used for that before. 

1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said:

You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport?  What the everliving fuck?

Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning.  That's it.

If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human.

That's probably too scary

1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said:

You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport?  What the everliving fuck?

Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning.  That's it.

If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human.

@spankytoes once said you should stay at a hotel near the airport when visiting Amsterdam.

Whole thread too long, not reading.

Iceman username not adding up.  Way too surly to be in snowy Chicago.

1 hour ago, miguelito said:

Yeah, downtown is where people get raped, murdered, and raped. 

just ask Jussie Smollett 

1 hour ago, miguelito said:

Yeah, downtown is where people get raped, murdered, and raped. 

That's not true at all.  Downtown you just get raped and assaulted.

It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped.

1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

@spankytoes once said you should stay at a hotel near the airport when visiting Amsterdam.

I didn't see this thread, but was his point that AMS is pretty unique among European airports in that it is very close to the city it serves and is well connected by train to Centraal Station (which is right in downtown)?  So you could conceivably get a cheap rate on an airport hotel and use the train to be in downtown in less than 20 minutes?

I mean, I still disagree.  But I at least understand it as a discussion point.

  • Popular Post
9 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

That's not true at all.  Downtown you just get raped and assaulted.

It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped.

I didn't see this thread, but was his point that AMS is pretty unique among European airports in that it is very close to the city it serves and is well connected by train to Centraal Station (which is right in downtown)?  So you could conceivably get a cheap rate on an airport hotel and use the train to be in downtown in less than 20 minutes?

I mean, I still disagree.  But I at least understand it as a discussion point.

Not to digress, but when we were in Amsterdam while backpacking through Europe after we graduated in ‘90, the Central Station was just about a mile from our hostel.  We were going to jump on a train to Brussels.  Didn’t want to take our weed with us and risk the bust, so we tried to smoke it all on the way to the station.  I’m not sure I’ve ever been higher in my life.  And sure enough the moment we crossed into Belgium they walked a drug sniffing German shepherd through our little compartment.  I was so high I was certain the dog could smell it through my pores.  He didn’t, but man was I tripping balls.

Carry on.

Edited by Sbbruin

22 hours ago, Iceman said:

Well I am staying in a hotel complex just 2 blocks south of Midway with multiple properties sharing a relatively large lot. My room looks out over said main lot.  I count a minimum of 40 cars that have not moved since Saturday, thank you for the evidence in the snow.  It finally dawned on me-  these fucking clowns are parking here( free for CUSTOMERS) and taking the airport shuttle from the airport.

I say tow their fucking vehicles.  I'm sure that accountability might bother some cheapskates on here, but fuck the people who are completely gaming good will of a business towards their customers.

Put the little tag in the window, and if it's not there, tow their ass.  The situation actually made me acknowledge the properties who charge stupid prices of parking-  hey at least you're protecting your patrons.  It should be 100% unnecessary, but here we are...

image.gif.dede3132ea96b0b229f6a1d2c2dd21d1.gif

22 hours ago, Zepol87 said:

I am 99% sure whatever motel 6 you are staying at is free for customers and you had to give your car info when checking in. Places by the airport charge for this just because you weren’t personally notified of the charge doesn’t mean no one was charged. Go to dinner have fun go back to room and close the blinds and stfu 

 

15 hours ago, royiv said:

This the place? $15.75/day to park your car and ride the hotel shuttle to the airport.

IMG_2559.jpeg.bab95da95243fc760e157665b833017f.jpegIMG_2558.thumb.png.37afc9ac43301cac932931cb88677dd8.png

Fucking lulz at the idea of Slorch putting the ole noggin to use, and after a couple of days of Encyclopedia Brown-like observation,  he finally cracks  The Case of the Stationary Cars

  • Author
10 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport?  What the everliving fuck?

Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning.  That's it.

If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human.

you don't know shit about fuck.

I'm not working downtown.  I'm working  roughly 5 miles from Midway; so no, it wasn't necessarily my first choice, but it ain't my dime either.  The commute from downtown every day would just be a straight up preventable ass beating.

It appears people using the lot for park and fly must utilize a local app or book a spot directly with one of the hotel properties. Some require a one night stay but may waive that respective obligation with membership level or accrued points.  

So it's not free like it is for actual hotel patrons.  It was fun all week walking/ parking in the snowy spaces they couldn't clear because of the cars that never moved.  No tires were harmed in this discussion, nor were any wreckers called.   A metric fuckton of y'all take yourselves waaaaay the fuck too seriously.

Edited by Iceman

Spoiler

We might not be the ones taking this too seriously.

 

3 hours ago, Iceman said:

A metric fuckton of y'all take yourselves waaaaay the fuck too seriously.

image.gif.0fc066bc7dba59e67b390a3a0e912099.gif

5 miles in Chicago aren't the same as 5 miles in Lubbock. Staying downtown or honestly plenty of damn places in Chicagoland would have been better. I hope the hotel ended up giving free parking to everyone for the week though

Edited by Zepol87

  • Popular Post

This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. 

This might be the most slorch thread yet. I'M NOT TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY! YOU GUYS ARE TAKING IT TOO SERIOUSLY!

This thread has gone about as well for OP as the one about ditching the Bowl game thread did for that OP. 

Our SAT layover hotel at Continental had a deal with commuting flight attendants for long term parking and shuttle rides. Slorch would've towed their ass after slashing their tires.

If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the slorch.

On 12/3/2025 at 10:07 PM, Zepol87 said:

close the blinds

 

On 12/3/2025 at 10:28 PM, Iceman said:

fucking hotel patrons

Yes, close them. Nobody needs to see you going at it. 

On 12/3/2025 at 10:54 PM, Biff Tannen said:

I was wondering if txtow had made a comeback or something. Thread does not deliver. 

 

On 12/4/2025 at 8:41 AM, HenryJames said:

@TxTow

/too soon?

 

Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter. 

 

3 minutes ago, Ten Bears said:

 

Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter. 

 

Wait what? Please share

40 minutes ago, Ten Bears said:

 

Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter. 

 

Does he refer to him as the rock thrower?  Or doe he know the saga of TxTow on the shag?

4 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. 

Even in our own hotel I have enough respect for my wife and myself (mostly me) that I will go find the pool room shitter. They’re usually always really clean. 

32 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Even in our own hotel I have enough respect for my wife and myself (mostly me) that I will go find the pool room shitter. They’re usually always really clean. 

Fuck all that.  I bomb her at home.  I’ll bomb her on the road.  She’s used to it.

17 hours ago, Sbbruin said:

Fuck all that.  I bomb her at home.  I’ll bomb her on the road.  She’s used to it.

IMG_7999.gif.3b033f799e1563d5be55c674f6641ef9.gif

 

18 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Does he refer to him as the rock thrower?  Or doe he know the saga of TxTow on the shag?

He didn't mention the Shag but he did refer to him as the rock thrower and that he had like 200 911 calls reporting the "accidents". Jeff said he never opens his mail at work because it probably has ricin it it lol. He said Ed Clements brought it to him so he opened it for once and it was crazy txtow's screed.

On 12/5/2025 at 11:27 AM, Pescado_Rojo said:

This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. 

This is the same strategy people should use at UT football games. Figure out which buildings have open access like the UGL on game day and go drop a clean, glorious deuce 

  • Author

I am further aggrieved in the Windy City-  grabbed some stuff at the local WalMart, go to check out and they tell me to see my 2 6-packs of beer to the side, as I cannot purchase them until noon.  I politely thanked them for the heads up.

But in my head, I was like, "Gotdam.  Chi-town Baptists are worse than ours at home."

Edited by Iceman

On 12/3/2025 at 10:28 PM, Iceman said:

walking the Iditarod back from our own vehicle to the hotel...

while other cars sit there with 6" of snow on them, so they haven't moved since Saturday.

Is it the end of the world?  of course not.  Is it fucking hotel patrons?  Yes.

Be grateful you have 2 legs and a heart healthy enough to make the walk. And for the opportunity to get a few extra steps in while you’re eating restaurant and fast food on the road 

#SoBless

1 hour ago, Iceman said:

I am further aggrieved in the Windy City-  grabbed some stuff at the local WalMart, go to check out and they tell me to see my 2 6-packs of beer to the side, as I cannot purchase them until noon.  I politely thanked them for the heads up.

But in my head, I was like, "Gotdam.  Chi-town Baptists are worse than ours at home."

Someone from Texas complaining about another state's liquor laws is rich.  

  • Author
13 minutes ago, texasdago said:

Someone from Texas complaining about another state's liquor laws is rich.  

No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon. 

3 hours ago, texasdago said:

This is the same strategy people should use at UT football games. Figure out which buildings have open access like the UGL on game day and go drop a clean, glorious deuce 

Not sure about game days, but the library in the basement of the main building was great for this. 

3 hours ago, Iceman said:

No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon. 

Yeah but...

Liquor Stores in Illinois

Kroger sells hard liquor at 27 locations within our grocery stores in Illinois.

4 hours ago, Sawbonz said:

#SoBless

#SoBless

On 12/4/2025 at 10:20 AM, Post Oak said:

This could've been an email

That my grandma sent.  

3 hours ago, Iceman said:

No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon. 

I’ve been in Chicago 20 years.  Never had issue getting booze at any hour.  Lubbock?   Yeah

  • Author
2 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

That my grandma sent.  

I’ve been in Chicago 20 years.  Never had issue getting booze at any hour.  Lubbock?   Yeah

Well the fucking Walmart by Midway said fuck no until noon. 
 

 

I havent lived in LBK for 25 years now. 

Edited by Iceman

On 12/4/2025 at 1:23 PM, Ghost of LL said:

That's not true at all.  Downtown you just get raped and assaulted.

It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped.

 

you said "raped" twice.

On 12/5/2025 at 12:27 PM, Pescado_Rojo said:

This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. 

This is the way. A few years ago I was stuck in CLT flying home with a couple of hours to kill and no lounge access. I had one brewing. The airport was so crowded literally the only place I could find a seat was a single high top chair at one of those table bars in the food court. TLDR I peaced out and took an Uber to the airport Sheraton with the conference center and had one of the best dumps of my life. Then sat peacefully in the lounge in the lobby until I had to Uber back and catch my flight. 

17 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

you said "raped" twice.

Correct. Once while alive and once while dead.

I feel safer knowing there are male Karens staying in airport hotels for a week in one of the greatest cities in the world, and that they're out there remedying the many outlandish grievances afflicting white male boomers today. 

FYI, there's a great Chili's near your hotel. Check it out!

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