December 4Dec 4 Popular Post 13 hours ago, Iceman said: I will ask in the morning. If so, that is dumb as hell. We walk through the snow and ice all week to perimeter spots while the freeloaders just sit in the prime spots because they never fucking move. and I am paying for a 6 night stay. Yeah, pure horseshit. You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport? What the everliving fuck? Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning. That's it. If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human.
December 4Dec 4 13 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said: I’ve stayed at airport adjacent properties before that allow travelers who book a night before a trip, to leave their cars in the lot for the duration of their trips. Are you certain that isn’t what is happening here? There's an app I've used for that before.
December 4Dec 4 1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said: You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport? What the everliving fuck? Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning. That's it. If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human. That's probably too scary
December 4Dec 4 1 hour ago, Ghost of LL said: You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport? What the everliving fuck? Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning. That's it. If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human. @spankytoes once said you should stay at a hotel near the airport when visiting Amsterdam.
December 4Dec 4 29 minutes ago, miguelito said: Yeah, downtown is where people get raped, murdered, and raped.
December 4Dec 4 Whole thread too long, not reading. Iceman username not adding up. Way too surly to be in snowy Chicago.
December 4Dec 4 16 hours ago, Iceman said: I will ask in the morning. What was the result of your inquiry, dear sir?
December 4Dec 4 1 hour ago, miguelito said: Yeah, downtown is where people get raped, murdered, and raped. just ask Jussie Smollett
December 4Dec 4 1 hour ago, miguelito said: Yeah, downtown is where people get raped, murdered, and raped. That's not true at all. Downtown you just get raped and assaulted. It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped. 1 hour ago, HenryJames said: @spankytoes once said you should stay at a hotel near the airport when visiting Amsterdam. I didn't see this thread, but was his point that AMS is pretty unique among European airports in that it is very close to the city it serves and is well connected by train to Centraal Station (which is right in downtown)? So you could conceivably get a cheap rate on an airport hotel and use the train to be in downtown in less than 20 minutes? I mean, I still disagree. But I at least understand it as a discussion point.
December 4Dec 4 Popular Post 9 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said: That's not true at all. Downtown you just get raped and assaulted. It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped. I didn't see this thread, but was his point that AMS is pretty unique among European airports in that it is very close to the city it serves and is well connected by train to Centraal Station (which is right in downtown)? So you could conceivably get a cheap rate on an airport hotel and use the train to be in downtown in less than 20 minutes? I mean, I still disagree. But I at least understand it as a discussion point. Not to digress, but when we were in Amsterdam while backpacking through Europe after we graduated in ‘90, the Central Station was just about a mile from our hostel. We were going to jump on a train to Brussels. Didn’t want to take our weed with us and risk the bust, so we tried to smoke it all on the way to the station. I’m not sure I’ve ever been higher in my life. And sure enough the moment we crossed into Belgium they walked a drug sniffing German shepherd through our little compartment. I was so high I was certain the dog could smell it through my pores. He didn’t, but man was I tripping balls. Carry on. Edited December 4Dec 4 by Sbbruin
December 5Dec 5 22 hours ago, Iceman said: Well I am staying in a hotel complex just 2 blocks south of Midway with multiple properties sharing a relatively large lot. My room looks out over said main lot. I count a minimum of 40 cars that have not moved since Saturday, thank you for the evidence in the snow. It finally dawned on me- these fucking clowns are parking here( free for CUSTOMERS) and taking the airport shuttle from the airport. I say tow their fucking vehicles. I'm sure that accountability might bother some cheapskates on here, but fuck the people who are completely gaming good will of a business towards their customers. Put the little tag in the window, and if it's not there, tow their ass. The situation actually made me acknowledge the properties who charge stupid prices of parking- hey at least you're protecting your patrons. It should be 100% unnecessary, but here we are... 22 hours ago, Zepol87 said: I am 99% sure whatever motel 6 you are staying at is free for customers and you had to give your car info when checking in. Places by the airport charge for this just because you weren’t personally notified of the charge doesn’t mean no one was charged. Go to dinner have fun go back to room and close the blinds and stfu 15 hours ago, royiv said: This the place? $15.75/day to park your car and ride the hotel shuttle to the airport. Fucking lulz at the idea of Slorch putting the ole noggin to use, and after a couple of days of Encyclopedia Brown-like observation, he finally cracks The Case of the Stationary Cars.
December 5Dec 5 Author 10 hours ago, Ghost of LL said: You're in Chicago for six days and you're staying at the fucking airport? What the everliving fuck? Airport hotels are for if you are in town for one night and you have an early flight out the next morning. That's it. If you're there for six nights, stay Downtown like a human. you don't know shit about fuck. I'm not working downtown. I'm working roughly 5 miles from Midway; so no, it wasn't necessarily my first choice, but it ain't my dime either. The commute from downtown every day would just be a straight up preventable ass beating. It appears people using the lot for park and fly must utilize a local app or book a spot directly with one of the hotel properties. Some require a one night stay but may waive that respective obligation with membership level or accrued points. So it's not free like it is for actual hotel patrons. It was fun all week walking/ parking in the snowy spaces they couldn't clear because of the cars that never moved. No tires were harmed in this discussion, nor were any wreckers called. A metric fuckton of y'all take yourselves waaaaay the fuck too seriously. Edited December 5Dec 5 by Iceman
December 5Dec 5 3 hours ago, Iceman said: A metric fuckton of y'all take yourselves waaaaay the fuck too seriously.
December 5Dec 5 5 miles in Chicago aren't the same as 5 miles in Lubbock. Staying downtown or honestly plenty of damn places in Chicagoland would have been better. I hope the hotel ended up giving free parking to everyone for the week though Edited December 5Dec 5 by Zepol87
December 5Dec 5 Popular Post This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace.
December 5Dec 5 This might be the most slorch thread yet. I'M NOT TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY! YOU GUYS ARE TAKING IT TOO SERIOUSLY!
December 5Dec 5 This thread has gone about as well for OP as the one about ditching the Bowl game thread did for that OP.
December 5Dec 5 Our SAT layover hotel at Continental had a deal with commuting flight attendants for long term parking and shuttle rides. Slorch would've towed their ass after slashing their tires.
December 5Dec 5 If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the slorch.
December 5Dec 5 On 12/3/2025 at 10:07 PM, Zepol87 said: close the blinds On 12/3/2025 at 10:28 PM, Iceman said: fucking hotel patrons Yes, close them. Nobody needs to see you going at it.
December 5Dec 5 On 12/3/2025 at 10:54 PM, Biff Tannen said: I was wondering if txtow had made a comeback or something. Thread does not deliver. On 12/4/2025 at 8:41 AM, HenryJames said: @TxTow /too soon? Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter.
December 5Dec 5 3 minutes ago, Ten Bears said: Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter. Wait what? Please share
December 5Dec 5 40 minutes ago, Ten Bears said: Jeff Ward said on the radio yesterday that TXTow recently wrote him a 3 page insane letter. Does he refer to him as the rock thrower? Or doe he know the saga of TxTow on the shag?
December 5Dec 5 4 hours ago, Pescado_Rojo said: This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. Even in our own hotel I have enough respect for my wife and myself (mostly me) that I will go find the pool room shitter. They’re usually always really clean.
December 5Dec 5 32 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said: Even in our own hotel I have enough respect for my wife and myself (mostly me) that I will go find the pool room shitter. They’re usually always really clean. Fuck all that. I bomb her at home. I’ll bomb her on the road. She’s used to it.
December 6Dec 6 17 hours ago, Sbbruin said: Fuck all that. I bomb her at home. I’ll bomb her on the road. She’s used to it.
December 6Dec 6 18 hours ago, Biff Tannen said: Does he refer to him as the rock thrower? Or doe he know the saga of TxTow on the shag? He didn't mention the Shag but he did refer to him as the rock thrower and that he had like 200 911 calls reporting the "accidents". Jeff said he never opens his mail at work because it probably has ricin it it lol. He said Ed Clements brought it to him so he opened it for once and it was crazy txtow's screed.
December 7Dec 7 On 12/5/2025 at 11:27 AM, Pescado_Rojo said: This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. This is the same strategy people should use at UT football games. Figure out which buildings have open access like the UGL on game day and go drop a clean, glorious deuce
December 7Dec 7 Author I am further aggrieved in the Windy City- grabbed some stuff at the local WalMart, go to check out and they tell me to see my 2 6-packs of beer to the side, as I cannot purchase them until noon. I politely thanked them for the heads up. But in my head, I was like, "Gotdam. Chi-town Baptists are worse than ours at home." Edited December 7Dec 7 by Iceman
December 7Dec 7 On 12/3/2025 at 10:28 PM, Iceman said: walking the Iditarod back from our own vehicle to the hotel... while other cars sit there with 6" of snow on them, so they haven't moved since Saturday. Is it the end of the world? of course not. Is it fucking hotel patrons? Yes. Be grateful you have 2 legs and a heart healthy enough to make the walk. And for the opportunity to get a few extra steps in while you’re eating restaurant and fast food on the road #SoBless
December 7Dec 7 1 hour ago, Iceman said: I am further aggrieved in the Windy City- grabbed some stuff at the local WalMart, go to check out and they tell me to see my 2 6-packs of beer to the side, as I cannot purchase them until noon. I politely thanked them for the heads up. But in my head, I was like, "Gotdam. Chi-town Baptists are worse than ours at home." Someone from Texas complaining about another state's liquor laws is rich.
December 7Dec 7 Author 13 minutes ago, texasdago said: Someone from Texas complaining about another state's liquor laws is rich. No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon.
December 7Dec 7 3 hours ago, texasdago said: This is the same strategy people should use at UT football games. Figure out which buildings have open access like the UGL on game day and go drop a clean, glorious deuce Not sure about game days, but the library in the basement of the main building was great for this.
December 7Dec 7 3 hours ago, Iceman said: No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon. Yeah but... Liquor Stores in Illinois Kroger sells hard liquor at 27 locations within our grocery stores in Illinois.
December 7Dec 7 On 12/4/2025 at 10:20 AM, Post Oak said: This could've been an email That my grandma sent. 3 hours ago, Iceman said: No, that was the surprise. We can buy beer/wine at 10am on Sunday. Illinois and/or Chicago makes you wait till noon. I’ve been in Chicago 20 years. Never had issue getting booze at any hour. Lubbock? Yeah
December 8Dec 8 Author 2 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said: That my grandma sent. I’ve been in Chicago 20 years. Never had issue getting booze at any hour. Lubbock? Yeah Well the fucking Walmart by Midway said fuck no until noon. I havent lived in LBK for 25 years now. Edited December 8Dec 8 by Iceman
December 8Dec 8 On 12/4/2025 at 1:23 PM, Ghost of LL said: That's not true at all. Downtown you just get raped and assaulted. It's out by fucking MDW that you get raped, murdered, and raped. you said "raped" twice.
December 9Dec 9 On 12/5/2025 at 12:27 PM, Pescado_Rojo said: This may come as a shock to you guys, but I will sometimes stop and take a shit at a hotel I'm not staying in. Hotels with a lot of conference rooms and a surface lot are the best. No one knows if you're there for a conference or what, and there's usually a quiet, seldom used shitter on the mezzanine floor around a corner someplace. This is the way. A few years ago I was stuck in CLT flying home with a couple of hours to kill and no lounge access. I had one brewing. The airport was so crowded literally the only place I could find a seat was a single high top chair at one of those table bars in the food court. TLDR I peaced out and took an Uber to the airport Sheraton with the conference center and had one of the best dumps of my life. Then sat peacefully in the lounge in the lobby until I had to Uber back and catch my flight.
December 9Dec 9 17 hours ago, Gil Bang said: you said "raped" twice. Correct. Once while alive and once while dead.
December 9Dec 9 I feel safer knowing there are male Karens staying in airport hotels for a week in one of the greatest cities in the world, and that they're out there remedying the many outlandish grievances afflicting white male boomers today. FYI, there's a great Chili's near your hotel. Check it out!
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