December 8Dec 8 Popular Post I have to share with people who will understand how much this means to me, because my folks are dead now and I don't have other family. I first attended Texas as a freshman in 2005, and it was a dream come true. Texas was the only school I applied to, the only school I wanted to go to. Most of college was straight forward for me, I didn't have much trouble passing classes. I originally started in one major which required two foreign language courses, which I decided to knock out in my early days. I have no fucking idea why, but I took Japanese as my foreign language, and it wound up being easily the hardest course I took. I barely passed JPN 1 and JPN 2 with Cs, my worst grades. Everything was going fine. Midway through college, I switched majors. This set me back, and I required a victory lap to complete my major requirements. I was sitting at 166 hours at this point, and thought I was ready to graduate that december, when I found out the major I switched to had a different foreign language requirement. Rather than 2 semesters of a foreign language, it required 3. At this point, I hadn't taken any japanese courses in 4 years, so I had completely forgotten everything. I essentially could not pass JPN3 if I tried, so I spoke with my councilor. She suggested I take JPN 1, 2, and 3 rapid fire at a community college. I could take JPN 1 during the next semester, then take JPN 2 and 3 during the minimester over the summer. Fair enough, not a big problem. I decided to enroll at HCC to take them while I worked an internship trying to pay off my student debt. Turns out HCC had a professor which made JPN a blow-off course. She didn't really teach. If you showed up, you got an A no matter what. I was elated, it meant my degree was basically on autopilot. Breezed through JPN1 and took JPN2 the first minimester of summer. However, after that minimester, she retired without giving us warning. A new professor came in, and she taught JPN like it was a real course. The two extra JPN refresher courses I took were worthless, I was going to have to start all over again, and I pretty much had no money. I reached out to my councilor at Texas, knowing they can pull strings and essentially do whatever they want. I figured she would help me out, but nope. She told me I was shit out of luck, basically, and that my degree would be waiting for me when I eventually passed JPN3. I was crushed. At this point, I couldn't afford more classes and decided to just work. My internship turned into a job and I figured I was set. For a couple of years, it was ok. However, my job suddenly dried up, and I had to look for a job for the first time. Now, I was not afraid to work on my own as I had confidence I could land a job with my skills and interviews. I was so naive. Were I ever able to actually get a sit down interview, I could have probably swayed someone, but I didn't realize how middlemen hiring agencies will basically gate-wall you off from an interview without your degree. What followed was 12 years of miserable work and feeling completely worthless. My degree at Texas felt like it kept slipping farther and farther away. I felt like I had blown my one and only chance, and with the way the world is turning being without a degree would be a lifelong handicap. I can't express the personal disappointment I felt in myself. I would have reoccurring nightmares, like every few days without fail. It was always the same theme, I'm at school and I've forgotten a class and it's test day and yadda yadda. I know everyone knows the dreams I'm talking about. But they were relentless and so frequent. My nightmares would sour my mood first thing in the morning and depress me. Two things would always happen in the dream: it would be late at night, with the city abandoned. I would be walking in a dreary depressed austin alone, desperately trying to enter the building to take my last exam. The building would always be closed and locked. I would pull on the door as hard as I could and it would never open. I would sometimes wake up crying from this dream. About a year ago my mom died and it took it poorly. I started seeing a therapist to help me with my extreme depression, and through therapy she explored other aspects of my life. This eventually came up. She encouraged me to reach out to the University and see what I could do about returning as a student. She told me to at least try, even if I couldn't afford it. So I did, I looked up the faculty of my old college and emailed the person I figured was right and told them my sob story. I got radio silence for a few weeks before someone finally emailed me back. They told me I was being assigned a special councilor for my case, essentially an advocate. She was going to help me find a way to get my degree. That all started in January, and we've been back and forth pretty much the whole year. Eventually we arrived at a compromise: I could take a cultural studies in japanese course at any school, even online schools, and it would satisfy my degree requirement with a waiver. Well, as it turns out, I took a blow off art appreciation course on Post-War japan during my time in college. I submitted it in October at the deadline for graduation applications to see if they would accept it. As soon as I submitted it, my status changed to conditional graduation. And thus I've been waiting on pins and needles ever since. It changed a few days ago. My application for graduation has been approved. I graduate in 2 weeks. Not next saturday, but the saturday after. The relief, the weight off my shoulders has been enormous. Immediately the nightmares vanished, I haven't had that reoccurring dream since. Last night, I had a dream about school again for the first time since having my application approved. This time it wasn't a dark depressing night, nor was I trying to get into a locked door. I was on the field at DKR. It was a bright and sunny day. We were waiting for commencement to begin. I was surrounded by people 20 years my prior but I didn't care. I was talking to some young woman next to me and I was telling her that I was graduating at 40. I was beaming with pride. I woke up in one of the best moods I've had in ages. Sometimes, it'll hit me, and tears will fall. The years spent lacking and wanting my degree have made me appreciate it so much more than I would have back then. They will let me walk in May. I dreamed of this for so long. I updated my resume a few days ago, and added that I graduated in 2025. Changing my credentials on sites like zip recruiter and indeed to reflect this. Immediately the sorts of job listings I was seeing changed, I'm able to apply now to jobs which I couldn't before. It's a literal dream come true. I love my university so much, and that's why this last 20 years has been so hard. It was a juxtaposition of having honest pride in my school, while acknowledging I had failed in my one goal. I could never tell my friends or family that I hadn't graduated, they all just assumed I had. It was a constant lie I had to tell everyone and myself. Not anymore. That I never had to take another class, that my original body of work from when I attended Texas was actually enough to get me over the goal line... it makes it so much sweeter. I don't look at my past as wasted time, upset at what could have been, but rather I'm looking forward. For the first time since... I can't even remember when, I am honestly more excited for tomorrow than the day before. I can wear my Texas cap again with pride. I'm so fucking happy. I wish I could bottle this stuff up and share it with everyone. This is the good stuff.
December 8Dec 8 I didn't read all of that; just the title. Congratulations. Good luck with the loans.
December 8Dec 8 Author Popular Post 1 minute ago, Parliament said: I didn't read all of that; just the title. Congratulations. Good luck with the loans. Don't have any loans. I'm graduating without taking any classes.
December 8Dec 8 You have honored your parents’ memories. This is an admirable thing and an accomplishment you should be proud of. Congratulations, cumstainedjorts.
December 8Dec 8 Author Popular Post 9 minutes ago, MAUFRAIS said: You have honored your parents’ memories. This is an admirable thing and an accomplishment you should be proud of. Congratulations, cumstainedjorts. My therapist told me the same thing, and while I do agree and that's a good feeling, ultimately I did this for myself. This was a very personal thing for me. It's allowed me to reclaim my sleep, my literal dreams. I'm not being hyperbolic here, my sleep has dramatically improved. It feels so good.
December 8Dec 8 There's never a bad time to chase something that will make you better, and feel better about yourself. And there's no feeling better than catching that thing you've been chasing. Congratulations. And fuck yes, HOOK 'EM.
December 8Dec 8 1 minute ago, tx 3 putt said: so are we supposed to send you a gift ? As I understand, the only item we are authorized to send is a wreath. We have a fund for that.
December 8Dec 8 Just now, Brisketexan said: As I understand, the only item we are authorized to send is a wreath. We have a fund for that. immac is throwing a party for him. even started a thread !
December 8Dec 8 15 minutes ago, tx 3 putt said: so are we supposed to send you a gift ? Sounds like he could use a few new pairs of shorts! Seriously, though, congratulations!
December 8Dec 8 Just now, C-Man said: Sounds like he could use a few new pairs of shorts! Seriously, though, congratulations! what new grad couldn't use some best buy coupons ??
December 8Dec 8 Popular Post I don't often use the "hook 'em" rep - I'm not Texan, didn't go to UT; that belongs to all of you and not a guest from Outside. In this case, however, I think it's warranted. Congratulations for making it happen and never giving up - you may have thought you did at times, but in your heart you never did. So, yeah - Hook 'em!
December 8Dec 8 I read the whole thing; it wasn't too long. That was the best thing I've heard all day. Thank you for sharing and congratulations! Being a graduate of the University of Texas is one hell of an achievement.
December 8Dec 8 1 hour ago, CumStainedJorts said: My therapist told me the same thing, and while I do agree and that's a good feeling, ultimately I did this for myself. This was a very personal thing for me. It's allowed me to reclaim my sleep, my literal dreams. I'm not being hyperbolic here, my sleep has dramatically improved. It feels so good. Your therapist calls you cumstainedjorts? That sounds like something you should see a therapist about. But in the meantime, Hook 'em and congrats!
December 9Dec 9 Cool deal. Imagine if someone had told you about substituting another class for the one you were missing 20 years ago.
December 9Dec 9 2 hours ago, CumStainedJorts said: I have to share with people who will understand how much this means to me, because my folks are dead now and I don't have other family.
December 9Dec 9 1 hour ago, tx 3 putt said: so are we supposed to send you a gift ? It's cool, I sent him some new jorts. Needs a fresh start with some clean job interview threads.
December 9Dec 9 Great story. And eerily similar to a situation a family member faces, including the Japanese. Here’s to hoping your success leads to inspiration for them too.
December 9Dec 9 A lot of people go to school for 20 years - yeah they’re called Drs congrats cumstain
December 9Dec 9 4 minutes ago, Sawbonz said: I’m disappointed OP wasn’t written in Japanese Tldr? He never mastered the Japanese…. Congrats, that is an awesome story!
December 9Dec 9 Nightmares of helplessness suck. I only had them about waiting tables and law school. Congratulations and hook ‘em.
December 9Dec 9 Author 9 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said: Cool deal. Imagine if someone had told you about substituting another class for the one you were missing 20 years ago. I already knew about that back then, that's what I came to discuss with my counselor when the JPN professor retired and I was stuck. The reason I had that art appreciation course under my belt was because that was my original major's degree requirement, 2 foreign language plus a cultural course. I asked her if we could try to see if the university would let me sub in the cultural course considering the circumstances, and she simply said no. Today, with the benefit of hindsight from actually going through the process, I now know it wasn't actually the counselor's place to tell me no. They advise you, but they don't make the actual decisions. You're supposed to petition to see if it'll count, and the university makes a decision. They'll normally go with whatever the counselor is advising, but it's ultimately not their call. So my counselor straight up telling me no was her being very bad at her job. When my new counselor told me I could take a cultural course, I was locked and loaded ready to go. I remember my hairs on my legs standing up on end when I read her email suggesting it, I was so excited. I try not to think about the decade+ lost. The job opportunities that passed me up. I can't do anything about that, and concentrating on it will just make me angry. I'm in such a good mood these days that I don't want to ruin my excitement over the future by ruminating the past. I chalk it up to a life lesson and a unique story now, completely at peace with it. My new counselor was wonderful, btw. She put in a lot of work for me, the entire time she was actively looking for ways to get me my degree. I actually found out I was approved for graduation from her before the university sent notice. I got a buzz on my phone that an email came in with the subject title "You're awesome!" Inside was her congratulating me and telling me that I had done it. I honestly hope I can somehow meet her in May and tell her thanks face to face. She'll always have a special place in my heart going forward, she made a major impact on my future. Edited December 9Dec 9 by CumStainedJorts
December 9Dec 9 Author 4 hours ago, 4th and 5 said: Nightmares of helplessness suck. I only had them about waiting tables and law school. Congratulations and hook ‘em. I also have had those kinds of dreams about waiting tables before, haha. What made these so much worse is that they weren't simply nightmares. Normally when you have those dreams, you wake up and are thankful that they were just a dream and it wasn't real. For me, I was waking up to the same nightmare. It was like I couldn't even find peace in sleep, there was no where I could go for respite from the constant shame and disappointment. It was like my own subconscious poking at my most sensitive wound. It really, really sucked, and I'm so glad I haven't had that dream in a while now. 9 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said: Your therapist calls you cumstainedjorts? That sounds like something you should see a therapist about. But in the meantime, Hook 'em and congrats! Cums for short. "You're killing me, Cums!" 6 hours ago, Bevo Num1 said: So all that could've been avoided if you took Spanish? Jk, man. Congratulations! YES! I actually speak Spanish! I took Japanese because my mom urged me to take a different language, to get something out of the money I was spending at Texas. Very bad decision. When I was doing the rapid-fire minimesters at HCC, I should have just switched to Spanish. By the time I realized it, I was out of money and dead broke. 5 hours ago, Sawbonz said: I’m disappointed OP wasn’t written in Japanese I do still remember some very, very basic stuff. テレビを見ている. But by JPN3, we're expected to read books and write essays, and I could not do that to save my life. Edited December 9Dec 9 by CumStainedJorts
December 9Dec 9 I'm happiest that by this last post of yours, you've learned how to spell counselor. Still learning, man. Good on ya!
December 9Dec 9 Congratulations and I'm happy you found a counselor that cared about you and helped you make it across the line. People like that are worth their weight in gold.
December 9Dec 9 4 minutes ago, Your Mom said: おめでとうございます。さあ、ズボンについた精液を拭き取りなさい。 Take that shit to Cloak Room. Congrats, OP!
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