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I brought two cans of sparkling water to work and some motherfucker stole one of them. I'm going hunting.

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  • Michael Knight
    Michael Knight

  • There is no gas shortage.  We have plenty at the pumps.  People just need to be sure to boil their gasoline for a full three minutes before use.

  • atomheartbevo
    atomheartbevo

    stole from reddit Austin but it’s appropriate. 

43 minutes ago, sachick said:

H-E-B to the rescue.

Too bad they won’t be open.

 

Edited by justhookit
Wtf

25 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

That’s what your mom told me last night, and again this morning 

that was a frickin' lay up......

PWC's (Preppers With Cisterns, bunker address undisclosed) watch and laugh, and wait for upcoming real estate bargains.  

Soon.

Troxy saying this will last 2 or 3 more days, perhaps thru the end of the week. 

(Ducks)

 

Water pressure had dropped significantly in my office building. Time to start looking for some old shoulder pads and assless chaps, the apocalypse is almost here fellas.

 

2 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

That’s what your mom told me last night, and again this morning 

Well done.

I have to 3 CStores. ALL of them were sold out of water by noon. Then we get assholes claiming we let's price gouged because they mistook a case of Ozarka 1L versus 16.9oz. So many fucking retards out here.

 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Anastasis said:

This would be a good time my friends to remind you that we are at all time 72 hours away from total societal collapse. Have a good evening. 

72 hours?  My, my, you are quite the optimist.

This morning at the park with my kid, some of the parents were huddled up and talking about it, and were clearly scared.  

A quick survey showed that none of them had Topo Chico or coconut water dispensers in their fridges, which was surprising.  None of them even had Ozarka dispensers in any of their pantries or cellars.

I asked them "well, didn't you have your man-servants or servant-girls start boiling water as soon as news got out?"

They looked at me in bewilderment.

Then it dawned on me.  They didn't even know how to boil water, so how the hell are they going to instruct their servants?

I did a quick survey, and most of them were familiar with Koyo Ramen.  I told them to have their servants get some Koyo Ramen out of one of their pantries, or head over to Central Market or Whole Foods and pick some up.  Told them to follow the directions, with just a few simple changes - double up on the water it calls for, and when it says to add the ramen, skip adding the ramen, and instead cook the water for 3-5 minutes.  When they were done, skip adding the flavoring, and they would be left with boiled water, and to just let it cool.

I probably saved quite a few lives. 

 

5 minutes ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

Going to go get gas just in case.

This fucking guy 

Email update from Lamar MS really gave off the vibe that AISD may cancel school because of this. They are monitoring the situation but as of now school isn’t cancelled.

Stopped at the mexican market by the house on the way home for a 12-pack. Shelves were full of water. White people be crazy. 

Stopped at the mexican market by the house on the way home for a 12-pack. Shelves were full of water. White people be crazy. 
Don't drink the water, dude.

I got home and the wife has 3 pitchers of boiled water in the fridge.  Tastes like water.  This shit isn't that hard.

Now I'm drinking Axis IPA...not boiled.   

25 minutes ago, PantsTent said:

I got home and the wife has 3 pitchers of boiled water in the fridge.  Tastes like water.  This shit isn't that hard.

Now I'm drinking Axis IPA...previously boiled.   

FIFY

No reason they shouldn't increase price on increased demand. There isn't a shortage, so it isn't gouging IMO. Water is plentifully available, and no reason why someone shouldn't pay more if they aren't willing to spend 3 minutes to boil the water, JFC.
This. Doing that shit during a true disaster is shitty. Doing it now is a stupid tax.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

2 hours ago, PantsTent said:

I got home and the wife has 3 pitchers of boiled water in the fridge.  Tastes like water.  This shit isn't that hard.

Now I'm drinking Axis IPA...not boiled.   

She told you it was boiled? Nice knowing you bud. 

Edited by Lobwedgephil


Right of capture, bitches!
The comment coupled with the situation and the added bonus that it's Ozarka in the bed really cracked me up. Hat tip to you

Right of capture, bitches!
The comment coupled with the situation and the added bonus that it's Ozarka in the bed really cracked me up. Hat tip to you

T&P

 

I bought two gallons on the way home to appease the wife. Everybody else at the grocery store had shopping carts loaded to the brim. So ridiculous

5 minutes ago, mightyfine said:

 

 

 

This is not the thread to list aggy football accomplishments

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

What the fuck. KXAN 

8:53 p.m. — Update from Austin Water PIO 

According to Austin Water, the city's water levels are reaching a critical stage, and if people keep using water at the rate they have been, the water supply could run out.

11 hours ago, Newdoc said:

I wonder what percentage of the population could handle any real emergent situation. One that you can’t Google, call customer service or go to HEB to stay alive or safe.

 

Thank God Austin has its own homegrown disaster scientist to take command if necessary.

This was posted earlier on twitter, but apparently things are worsening if KXAN is right. 

 

Good lord. Our reservoirs are at minimal levels?!? The news must be heavily invested in water and gas

I literally do not understand how this is happening. Should have studied more in hyrdo.

Sent my email





 
On behalf of the City of Austin and Austin Water, we would like to provide the following information.
 
City-wide boil water notice and emergency water use restrictions issued
 
Austin Water has issued a city-wide boil water notice for all customers of Austin Water. The notice is being issued as the utility works to stabilize the water treatment system.
 
In addition to the boil notice, emergency water use restrictions are in place that limit outdoor water use.

There is an urgent need for customers to reduce water use. Austin Water treatment plants can currently produce approximately 105 million gallons of water per day. Current customer use is about 120 million gallons per day. Water reservoir levels are reaching minimal levels. Immediate action is needed to avoid running out of water. This is an emergency situation. All residents are asked to reduce their personal consumption by 15-20 percent.

What can customers do?

Reduce water use as much as possible to ensure adequate supply is available for basic needs, fire protection, public health and safety.

Boil water intended for consumption. To ensure destruction of all harmful bacteria and other microbes, water for drinking, cooking and for making ice should be boiled and cooled prior to consumption. The water should be brought to a vigorous, rolling boil for three minutes. In lieu of boiling water, you may use bottled water.

Businesses should not use drinking fountains or soda fountains that rely on tap water.

During this period of emergency restrictions and until further notice, all outdoor water use is prohibited. Customers may not:
 

Use water for irrigation or testing of irrigation equipment

Wash vehicles, including at commercial car wash facilities

Wash pavement or other surfaces

Add water to a pool or spa

Conduct foundation watering, or

Operate an ornamental fountain or pond, other than aeration necessary to support aquatic life 

Violations of these restrictions should be reported to Austin 3-1-1. Austin Water appreciates your support in reducing water use to help stabilize Austin’s water treatment plants.

The Austin-Travis County Emergency Operations Center will remain active through the remainder of this situation and will be providing updates as conditions change.

You may also receive text or email notifications from the City of Austin and the Capital Area Council of Governments asking you to conserve and boil water.
 
For more information visit www.austintexas.gov/boilH2O.
[https://ci3]This email was sent by: Austin Energy 
721 Barton Springs Rd, Austin, TX, 78704 US 

Privacy Policy 

Update Profile       Manage Subscriptions      Unsubscribe


the idiocy shown on my neighborhood page is without compare.

Captain Uselessly Helpful here fucking tells everyone to go get water from the watermill.

43692169380_cbd9ea059a.jpg

 

.....   question dumbass, where the FUCK is the watermill getting their water???? oh yeah, from the fucking city water..... but hey, despite the city telling everyone that filtered water doesnt keep away the bacteria (if there is any),  lets completely and uselessly suggest that to the neighborhood board so we can sound like WE ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR LIVES HERE- NO NEED TO PANIC,  WE NEED WATER!!!!!!!!

and the very first reply calls his dumbass out on it, and he doubles down the stupidity by telling everyone that city water sucks. 

This exchange catches Austin White Panic in a perfect capsule.    say stupid shit, get called out on it, and then double down on the dumbass.

So there’s really nothing wrong with the water right now that requires boiling, they just can’t treat it fast enough due to the amount of silts in it, so we’re running low, but they decided that lying about it was better than telling the truth and requesting that people cut back? Am I seeing this right?

As far as I’ve heard, there still hasn’t been a single test showing contaminants.

I boiled a bigass pot of water but it smelled funny so I ran to shitty HEB (1st/wm cannon) and they had the last bit of a pallet of bottled water right at the front door.  I'm not sure what a 32 pack of bottled water normally costs but if it's about $3 then they are not gouging.

This morning I drank tap water and several hours later I had “the runs”. Coincidence?

Serious question-are those fireworks going off around Town Lake/MoPac right now?  Could be water-related?  It's 2240hrs-CDT.  

9 minutes ago, Orange&White said:

So there’s really nothing wrong with the water right now that requires boiling, they just can’t treat it fast enough due to the amount of silts in it, so we’re running low, but they decided that lying about it was better than telling the truth and requesting that people cut back? Am I seeing this right?

As far as I’ve heard, there still hasn’t been a single test showing contaminants.

There's two things happening:

  1. If there is too much turbidity in the water supply, the normal amount of treatment isn't guaranteed to make safer drinking water, so they have to treat it more. More treatment = less output.
  2. If the water pressure gets too low, contaminants can get into the water supply after treatment

They kind of build on each other - the turbidity in our water supply (essentially, the silt from flooding) is reducing the amount of treated water, and the reduced amount of treated water is leading to lower water pressure. The boiling water thing is a "better safe than sorry" thing right now, and it's also mandated by TCEQ when certain levels are reached. 

Source: wife used to work at TCEQ in drinking water. 

 

tl; dr

The water you're drinking has been shat in, Film at 11.  

1 hour ago, Telegraph_it said:

I literally do not understand how this is happening. Should have studied more in hyrdo.

 

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/what-went-wrong-at-austin-s-water-treatment-plants/1542832109?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter_KXAN_News

Quote

While the city hasn’t failed any tests yet, water officials worry they soon won’t be able to meet the federal standard of a 0.3 turbidity reading in 95% of tests over the course of a month, hence the boil water notice. 

Whole article worth a read if you want technical stuff. 

5 hours ago, Deej said:

Stopped at the mexican market by the house on the way home for a 12-pack. Shelves were full of water. White people be crazy. 

 

did you throw some spanglish at them for the 'secret' discount ?

Again from KXAN

10:55 p.m. — Update from the City of Austin

The City of Austin said in an evening press release, all residents are asked to reduce their personal consumption by 15-20 percent. They state that all outdoor water use in the city of Austin is prohibited.

According to the press release, violations of the water restrictions should be reported to Austin 311.

——————

If city officials are putting out press releases this late in the evening, something feels really odd. 

Where’s that other shoe at.  

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