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The Pantex Plant is the primary United States nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly facility that aims to maintain the safety, security and reliability of the nation's nuclear weapons stockpile.

 

 
The Pantex Plant is the primary United States nuclear weapons assembly and disassembly facility that aims to maintain the safety, security and reliability of the nation's nuclear weapons stockpile.
 

Appears their aim is off...

Pantex's official twitter account may want to provide a tad more detail. This is why the character count was increased, right? 

Ahh, it is out by Amarillo. Why should I care? I live by the river.

Calm down, it's a 'security' incident...

 

Quote

Officials at plant say an ‘operational emergency’ is the cause of the incident. They later described the situation as a security incident: “Pantex Plant Precautions are being taken due to a security event. Access to FM2373 has decreased north of Hwy. 60. Other precautions include assistance from Carson County Sheriff and Amarillo Police Department.”

 

https://breaking911.com/breaking-texas-nuclear-weapons-facility-activates-emergency-response-organization-due-to-operational-emergency/

Edited by KaiserSoze

That's reassuring:

"The primary mission of the Pantex Plant is the assembly, disassembly, testing, and evaluation of nuclear weapons in support of the NNSA stockpile stewardship program."

lol @ stewardship

9 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Guys, guys, it's pronounced new-cue-ler.

The "s" is silent.

1 minute ago, KaiserSoze said:

Real 'calm down' or facetious 'calm down'?  Because I'll posit there is no cool version of a security incident where we keep enough stuff to end us all.

Is it possible to make the Panhandle more uninhabitable?

3 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

 

prob wasn't too hard to handle.  shoot the 1 or 2 non-white looking people in the area.

My (apocryphal) csb:  A buddy of my family is a "courier" for Pantex.  When they need to ship arms around, they do it in a plain 18 wheeler with 4x4s in front and back with Army Rangers and what not armed to the teeth.  He is one of those Rangers and their title is courier.  Their orders are that if anyone touches the 18 wheeler trailer, that person dies.  They are taking some nuclear weapon to or from a similar place in Alabama.  Roscoe pulls them over somewhere in the South and says he has to inspect the goods being transported.   They tell him he ain't inspecting shit.  Yes I am.  No.  I assure you, here is my [whatever] badge.  Just hop back in your car.  As one would expect with a local cop, he takes offense and starts heading back to the trailer anyway.  Dudes jump out of the 4x4s, encounter Roscoe, do their thing, get back in their 4x4s and continue their journey.  As they do, they call the local police department and let them know the location of their deputy who is handcuffed to the side of his cruiser.

Dude, that's not a csb...that's the script to Smokey and the Bandit, Pt. V

We all know that. 

But yeah, this is scary shit...particuarly since you could leak that just a few miles south into the water table that's leading into the water supply of eveyrhting down here in Highland Lakes/Austin.  

3 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

My (apocryphal) csb: 

Better apocryphal than apocalyptic.

Just now, Lobo said:

Dude, that's not a csb...that's the script to Smokey and the Bandit, Pt. V

We all know that. 

But yeah, this is scary shit...particuarly since you could leak that just a few miles south into the water table that's leading into the water supply of eveyrhting down here in Highland Lakes/Austin.  

I think you've cracked the case on the water boiling notice.

2 minutes ago, Bat Guano said:

I think you've cracked the case on the water boiling notice.

We just needed Trump to stay one more day and move a couple hundred miles upstream.  Damn you all, it's people!  

14 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

My (apocryphal) csb:  A buddy of my family is a "courier" for Pantex.  When they need to ship arms around, they do it in a plain 18 wheeler with 4x4s in front and back with Army Rangers and what not armed to the teeth.  He is one of those Rangers and their title is courier.  Their orders are that if anyone touches the 18 wheeler trailer, that person dies.  They are taking some nuclear weapon to or from a similar place in Alabama.  Roscoe pulls them over somewhere in the South and says he has to inspect the goods being transported.   They tell him he ain't inspecting shit.  Yes I am.  No.  I assure you, here is my [whatever] badge.  Just hop back in your car.  As one would expect with a local cop, he takes offense and starts heading back to the trailer anyway.  Dudes jump out of the 4x4s, encounter Roscoe, do their thing, get back in their 4x4s and continue their journey.  As they do, they call the local police department and let them know the location of their deputy who is handcuffed to the side of his cruiser.

Supposedly the trailer has the ability to defend itself as well.

13 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Supposedly the trailer has the ability to defend itself as well.

optimus-prime-transformers3-dark-of-the-

45 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

My (apocryphal) csb:  A buddy of my family is a "courier" for Pantex.  When they need to ship arms around, they do it in a plain 18 wheeler with 4x4s in front and back with Army Rangers and what not armed to the teeth.  He is one of those Rangers and their title is courier.  Their orders are that if anyone touches the 18 wheeler trailer, that person dies.  They are taking some nuclear weapon to or from a similar place in Alabama.  Roscoe pulls them over somewhere in the South and says he has to inspect the goods being transported.   They tell him he ain't inspecting shit.  Yes I am.  No.  I assure you, here is my [whatever] badge.  Just hop back in your car.  As one would expect with a local cop, he takes offense and starts heading back to the trailer anyway.  Dudes jump out of the 4x4s, encounter Roscoe, do their thing, get back in their 4x4s and continue their journey.  As they do, they call the local police department and let them know the location of their deputy who is handcuffed to the side of his cruiser.

if anyone is looking for a new job, apply within!

 

https://fmt.kcnsc.doe.gov/OSTfederalagent/

 

 

55 minutes ago, Digdogger said:

I assumed Pantex made tampons

Nah, that's Ramtex...

37 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

My (apocryphal) csb:  A buddy of my family is a "courier" for Pantex.  When they need to ship arms around, they do it in a plain 18 wheeler with 4x4s in front and back with Army Rangers and what not armed to the teeth.  He is one of those Rangers and their title is courier.  Their orders are that if anyone touches the 18 wheeler trailer, that person dies.  They are taking some nuclear weapon to or from a similar place in Alabama.  Roscoe pulls them over somewhere in the South and says he has to inspect the goods being transported.   They tell him he ain't inspecting shit.  Yes I am.  No.  I assure you, here is my [whatever] badge.  Just hop back in your car.  As one would expect with a local cop, he takes offense and starts heading back to the trailer anyway.  Dudes jump out of the 4x4s, encounter Roscoe, do their thing, get back in their 4x4s and continue their journey.  As they do, they call the local police department and let them know the location of their deputy who is handcuffed to the side of his cruiser.

Trying to understand how this would pass Posse Comitatus, but you mean former Ranger based on the link.  That's a job that takes a ton of preparation and you hope to retire without ever using any of it.  

Just when I start having to travel to Amarillo every now and then for work.



Supposedly the trailer has the ability to defend itself as well.


rmhpt5850.jpg
53 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

this gonna fuck up Oklahoma? 

How would we be able to tell?

31 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Probably just a stray cat wondering onto the property.

Bad idea, curiosity is their Achilles' Heel.

Edited by clapclapclap
#37 of 99 ways to defeat

55 minutes ago, Lobo said:

 

But yeah, this is scary shit...particuarly since you could leak that just a few miles south into the water table that's leading into the water supply of eveyrhting down here in Highland Lakes/Austin.  

a few miles south from where?  PanTex?  That's more like a few hundred miles to the watershed

7 minutes ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

How would we be able to tell?

It would glow... 

 

The radiation would never make it here, that's just silly. Because Oklahoma sucks.

Good news, austinites!  Irradiated water does not need to be boiled. 
1 hour ago, crash_davis said:

prob wasn't too hard to handle.  shoot the 1 or 2 non-white looking people in the area.

Wearing gray pants?

2 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

 

Probably Alex Jones pulling a Bohemian Grove.  I’m sure they’ll let him go and he will pop off on twitter, but if he’s silent for a while, you know he’s in deep shit and they aren’t letting him go. 

2 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Supposedly the trailer has the ability to defend itself as well.

Picture of said trailer:   [CRAP...didn't see LoneStarBiker's post before I posted this.  His is better.]

1*PnSi2cDkDf7jUd0gGlLCrA.jpeg

Edited by Uncle Nate
Lone Star Biker's post was better.

Great. Chad Briscoe now has access to the nukes.

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