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So, these are not people. This is a bunch of millennials that spontaneously all met at your house and you decided to feed them so that you could enhance your and your kid’s reputation.

 

first- why are you hovering over these kids like helicopter parents? “Ermagerd they must be getting hungry. Let’s feed them all”

 

second- either tell your kid to get them the Faulk out of your house because it’s dinner time, or go buy a bunch of food and drop it on the table and let them figure it out. Don’t hover over them and involve yourself in their incredibly stupid dramas. “Did you see cooper? He was so rude when he took the skin and put the rest back. His parents must not teach him well. We are so much better parents.”

Meanwhile Payton and Eli are chasing each other with a shovel and bricks outside.

So wholesome...

Y'all can have my biscuit...

I got full on chicken skin and breading.

It's okay Jimmy I'm poor too.

I bought plenty.  There were leftovers.  I'm not poor.
The point was to keep the typically greedy pre-teens and teenagers from going batshit crazy over the "buffet" prior to everyone getting food.
I eagerly await more edumacation from those who aren't parents and who don't have a fucking legion of friends -- headcount unknown -- slamming your house on random nights.  The beauty of having them slam MY house?  I know where my kids are.

It's okay Jimmy I'm poor too.

I bought plenty.  There were leftovers.  I'm not poor.
The point was to keep the typically greedy pre-teens and teenagers from going batshit crazy over the "buffet" prior to everyone getting food.
I eagerly await more edumacation from those who aren't parents and who don't have a fucking legion of friends -- headcount unknown -- slamming your house on random nights.  The beauty of having them slam MY house?  I know where my kids are.

It's like taking the icing off of a cupcake and putting it back and saying you didn't have one.

^^Something we would all like to know.

If I can't host, I can't host man. If I'm cheap, I'm cheap. I mean … simple as that. It ain't about that... I mean it's... It's not about that... At all. You know what I'm saying I mean... But it's...it's easy … to, to talk about... It's easy to sum it up when you're just talking about not having enough chicken. We're sitting in here, and I'm supposed to be the host, and we in here talking about  chicken. I mean, listen, we're talking about spontaneous get together, not a planned dinner, not a coordinated meal, not a planned dinner, we talking about spontaneous get together. Not a planned meal. Not, not … Not the planned meal that I go out there and die for and spend hours in the kitchen cooking like it's my last. Not a planned dinner, but we're talking about a spontaneous get together, man. I mean, how silly is that? … And we talking about a spontaneous get together. I know I supposed to be a good host. I know I'm supposed to lead by example... I know that... And I'm not.. I'm not shoving it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything. I know it's important to be a good host, I do. I honestly do... But we're talking about a spontaneous get together with a bunch of kids man. What are we talking about? A spontaneous meal? We're talking about a spontaneous meal, man.

On 11/3/2018 at 4:27 PM, Whitman said:

The important thing you left out was what do your wife's breasts look like?  

eaten, of course  

On 11/3/2018 at 7:04 PM, Underdog said:

Don't see the issue with the "2pc" policy to be sure everyone gets a fair shot at the yardbird so that Bob and Edna don't gobble it all down before most get their chance.  Lets be real, people go bonkers over free food. 

That's because Bob and Edna typically bring a personal to-go container to start filling before anyone else has gone through the line.  

It does not matter what others think. OP is the Chicken Master. He brought the chicken, he set the rules.

If OP's wife is upset, he should point out "Silence, Woman; I am the Chicken Master."

Only then will harmony return.

Since I know of no chicken shack that will sell chicken after some third party has removed its skin in part or whole, I rule that the skin-removed piece of chicken no longer had transactional value, it had been removed from the counting, it no longer counts. Therefore there was no "extra" piece.

However, since it was not fully eaten, that flies in the face of OP Chicken Master's directive that all under his jurisdiction should start with 2 pieces, before getting more.

The rebellious chicken skinner chose to start with 1 1/2, and to not comply.

Therefore, all who were completely obedient to the OP Chicken Master's will should have gotten their third piece, while the chicken skinner could either finish the skinned piece of chicken, in a timely fashion, or else be barred from further partial mutilations.

Impose your will, Chicken Master.

I think the mashed potatoes and gravy issue (or sides in general) is being overlooked here. If you had enough sides to supplement the chicken, this would probably not be an issue.

Since you said there were plenty of leftovers, can you elaborate on what exactly was leftover? I need to know. Are we talking sugar packets and condiments? Because that shit doesn't count, and would further the "You didn't buy enough chicken" argument.

Christ. Buy plenty of chicken. When people show up say "have at it". Wtf is the issue here.

 

I'm buying two 15-20 lb birds for Thanksgiving this year for 12 people or so to go along with the tractor trailer load of carbohydrates we will have on the side. There's going to be a lot of turkey left, and I'm going to have some delicious sandwiches for a couple days. It's not hard.

2 hours ago, LonghornJones said:

Since you said there were plenty of leftovers, can you elaborate on what exactly was leftover?

1 piece of skinless chicken, apparently.

2 pieces sounds like a meal for teenage girls. Order more and problem solved.

4 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

2 pieces sounds like a meal for teenage girls. Order more and problem solved.

I'm guessing not for the teenage girls of some of the women you've posted 

10 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

24  pieces sounds like a mealsnack for the girls I date. Order more and problem solved.

Yolo

3 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Yolo

True but I was speaking to my demographic. Going on a limb but I'm guessing Jimmyjazz was not hosting a party full of my kind of women haha.

Serious bidness this fried chicken stuff

On ‎11‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 6:44 PM, Hugh G. Rection said:

Pics of offender? Or wife.

th?id=OIP.oQYnLyz7SW_3SIY4lics0AHaEK&pid

I am going to completely disregard the rationing of the chicken and stick to the mutilated piece of chicken. 

That's fucked up.  Would any normal person go to a buffet type restaurant and do that?  Nope.  Same premise and it's wrong to do.

He can claim he bought plenty, but the fact that he could take an inventory at the end and recognize the discrepancy belies his statement

On 11/3/2018 at 11:16 AM, Incredulity said:

Once you fondle food served family style it should stay on your plate.

This is a double dipping type social blunder. 

This.  Then if your wife or kid wants, they can take it.  

Your wife actually thought it was acceptable to take the skin off a piece of chicken and then put it back? You should mock her mercilessly, and get all the kids to do the same.

3 hours ago, You don't know me said:

I am going to completely disregard the rationing of the chicken and stick to the mutilated piece of chicken. 

That's fucked up.  Would any normal person go to a buffet type restaurant and do that?  Nope.  Same premise and it's wrong to do.

Well then why did the OP labor on about chicken rationing and what not? I think there is more to this story.

Boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Where's the skin going? Can't they just make fry chicken skin as a side dish? 

I would just buy way more chicken than I thought would get eaten.  Then I'd have leftovers.

And I'd still slap the shit out of someone who peeled the skin off a piece of chicken then threw out the rest.  

4 hours ago, You don't know me said:

I am going to completely disregard the rationing of the chicken and stick to the mutilated piece of chicken. 

That's fucked up.  Would any normal person go to a buffet type restaurant and do that?  Nope.  Same premise and it's wrong to do.

The skin thief is obviously the product of poor parenting. 

But I still have questions about the rationing. Two pieces per person is a pretty vague directive. Wouldn't taking two breasts be about as egregious as taking an extra skin? (And we never found out what piece the stolen skin was from.) If someone took two breasts then I would feel I'd be justified in taking two thighs and two drumsticks. Assuming an equal distribution of breasts, wings, thighs, and legs, the two piece per person rule still leaves a lot of room for abuse. I'm not sure how that all worked out. 

It worked out poorly, obviously.

It took 2 days and 2 pages but I sniffed it out.

 

you're running some kind of oppressive regime over there where kids are so afraid to get caught eating that they sneak the skin off of a piece of chicken when nobody is looking.  

“Don’t beat me jimmyjohn, I just took the skin.”

This is your fault.  You’re to blame when these kids are all anorexic and shooting up chicken places.  This is on your hands.

Edited by CoTex

8 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

th?id=OIP.oQYnLyz7SW_3SIY4lics0AHaEK&pid

Jimmy did provide REAL tomato ketchup, though

On 11/4/2018 at 1:36 PM, RollLeft said:

Whatt kind of chicken?  From where?

Gas station I bet

22 hours ago, Uncle Boobs said:

How big were the breasts?

Not big enough to earn a nickname. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

Wait a minute. What I’m reading is someone knowingly ate a piece of fried chicken with no skin? Because you don’t really mention that it was the left over piece.

Taking the skin off a piece and leaving the rest for others is unacceptable.

It’s like eating a piece of birthday cake then going back and scraping off the icing off the rest of the cake and leaving a naked cake for the rest of the people.

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