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  • This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the ou

  • took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker. Best thanksgiving ever.    

  • My FIL asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee when I got up this morning. I said yes and he proceeded to pour a cup and put it in the microwave. As he hands it to me he tells me that it was from yesterd

So I'm ghosting my bourbon-loving BIL for my dad and his psycho 2nd wife for my 4 nights in Ohio. Dad's cool, just old, deaf and a bit senile. Second wife is batshit crazy. I used to think she was just REALLY dumb, but no. She's crazy. And they don't have bourbon.

His "root cellar."e51b05851e9841e56056f64ffbb1ac47.jpg


That’s fucked up. I thought you were over exaggerating his racism because I don’t know anyone that racist.
26 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

What is God's name is actually in there?

A lot of ammunition from Eastern bloc countries, some buckets of freeze dried food, and some trinkets to remind him of when people knew their place. 

I hate Hill County Natzis.

3 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Quotind, in entirety because the right here is how a fucking rant is done.

Folks, take note and give this man his rep.

and some prozac might help ease his pain.

2 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Weed, Prozac, rat poison, whatever it takes.

I'd do weed and bourbon, but that's just me.

  • Author
Wait that’s a real pic?
Very real. I didn't bother with a pic of his garage with the Confederate flag, the Due to the high price of ammo liberals will be shot on sight sign, etc. He's slowed down considerably since the the last time we saw him. Which is good. He's too tired to bitch much early in the day, then gets drunk & after a few outbursts passes out in his chair.

Wow. So he probably does have an actual gimp in there I guess.

Finally caught up in this thread. Here’s to hoping we all have an easy Christmas over the next days.

I'd do weed and bourbon, but that's just me.


Doing that even as we speak.

I’m humble bragging. Going to 30A for Christmas week and then flying out to Swiss Alps for the New Year.

4 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

His "root cellar."e51b05851e9841e56056f64ffbb1ac47.jpg

What.  The.  Fuck.

Very real. I didn't bother with a pic of his garage with the Confederate flag, the Due to the high price of ammo liberals will be shot on sight sign, etc. He's slowed down considerably since the the last time we saw him. Which is good. He's too tired to bitch much early in the day, then gets drunk & after a few outbursts passes out in his chair.



Damn dude I really hope you're trolling because that is fucked. How did your wife escape the crazy racist shit
My god, I wish they were.  Almost all the cousins and most of the aunts/uncles tie one on, but for some reason when they are all together...the alcohol supply dries up rather quickly.  They're kinda like baptists in the respect, like they can all tie one on in their regular lives but not around one another.  
Wut? My family were all Catholics, Baptists, and Methodists and when we had family get togethers there was always a keg, sausage from Keyser's, and kolaches from some old lady my aunts knew. The Catholics in the family had trouble keeping up with the Baptists drinking wise.

So with this baptisim thing who gets to make up the list of business associates and competitors that get whacked during the baptism?

Do you renounce Satan?
12 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

His "root cellar."e51b05851e9841e56056f64ffbb1ac47.jpg

There’s at least 2 dead bodies in there. 

9 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Very real. I didn't bother with a pic of his garage with the Confederate flag, the Due to the high price of ammo liberals will be shot on sight sign, etc. He's slowed down considerably since the the last time we saw him. Which is good. He's too tired to bitch much early in the day, then gets drunk & after a few outbursts passes out in his chair.
 

SurlyDad?

  • Author
There’s at least 2 dead bodies in there. 
At least a few dead varmints. It is a storage bunker built into the side of the hill about 100 yards from the house. Built it when he went full on prepper about 10 years ago. Hmmm...I wonder what that coincided with?

According to my wife, he was just a mild racist growing up. Drop the n bomb or w word here & there, but living in the sticks with many like minded individuals has emboldened him. Hence why it's so painful for my wife to come visit. We're ready to bolt as soon as she helps her mom feed the horses.

Not the first time you've seen that bumper sticker in Ohio, eh?

Put an Obama or Hillary sticker on his truck and record the meltdown.

All i know is GOTJ left blue Minnesota for red Texas because the winters are too cold and because Texas is the only state to have twilight showings during a texas longhorn football game. If you had stayed here...you wouldnt be where you are at right now


You have nobody to blame but yourself for being such a woman.

1 hour ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

At least a few dead varmints. It is a storage bunker built into the side of the hill about 100 yards from the house. Built it when he went full on prepper about 10 years ago. Hmmm...I wonder what that coincided with?

According to my wife, he was just a mild racist growing up. Drop the n bomb or w word here & there, but living in the sticks with many like minded individuals has emboldened him. Hence why it's so painful for my wife to come visit. We're ready to bolt as soon as she helps her mom feed the horses.

Not sure about the whole mildly racist part. You're either racist or you're not.  Or is this he of those, some of my best friends are (non white), kind of guys ?  

 

48 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

All i know is GOTJ left blue Minnesota for red Texas because the winters are too cold and because Texas is the only state to have twilight showings during a texas longhorn football game. If you had stayed here...you wouldnt be where you are at right now


You have nobody to blame but yourself for being such a woman.

The Twin Cities are blue.

The rest of the state is pretty red.  I saw a Confederate flag flying in front of a house in Fillmore County recently.  It was a well-manicured place too - not obvious white trash.  Michelle Bachman is from Minnesota.

Minnesota is as good a case study of the rural/urban red/blue divide as any state in the country, IMO.

The Twin Cities are blue.
The rest of the state is pretty red.  I saw a Confederate flag flying in front of a house in Fillmore County recently.  It was a well-manicured place too - not obvious white trash.  Michelle Bachman is from Minnesota.
Minnesota is as good a case study of the rural/urban red/blue divide as any state in the country, IMO.
Yea true. Well duluth is blue and is Rochester.

Where i live is 45k and blue for the most part. I just assume hes from a bigger MN city because hes obviously not a hillbilly. Maybe hes native American because thats whats left..
8 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Yea true. Well duluth is blue and is Rochester.

Where i live is 45k and blue for the most part. I just assume hes from a bigger MN city because hes obviously not a hillbilly. Maybe hes native American because thats whats left..

You sure about that?  I get the impression, compared to other cities it's size, that Rochester is pretty red.

EDIT:  Just checked the '16 election; Clinton won Olmsted county by .7%.  So still blue, but not by much.

You must be in Mankato, Moorehead, or Winona.

Edited by Al_4_ISU



Not the first time you've seen that bumper sticker in Ohio, eh?


I have it on a t shirt.

The Twin Cities are blue.
The rest of the state is pretty red.  I saw a Confederate flag flying in front of a house in Fillmore County recently.  It was a well-manicured place too - not obvious white trash.  Michelle Bachman is from Minnesota.
Minnesota is as good a case study of the rural/urban red/blue divide as any state in the country, IMO.


And it's a good case study of how both parties have changed (nttawwt). MN was a hotbed of Prarie Populism in the early 1900's. The Iron Range was heavy union. Both were solid Democrat until probably the 60's when the Democrat Party filled with hippies.

At the time the Republican Party was mostly for rich WASP's. That changed with Reagan. Today the Twin Cities is very blue and Duluth is purple. The rest of the State (especially as you go north) is red. And there is a LOT of hate; largely over an environmental law passed 2 years ago.
You sure about that?  I get the impression, compared to other cities it's size, that Rochester is pretty red.

EDIT:  Just checked the '16 election; Clinton won Olmsted county by .7%.  So still blue, but not by much.

You must be in Mankato, Moorehead, or Winona.

Moorhead

 

 

Look what you started tom.

 

It's a rational, polite conversation that came up in the oddest place. But your point stands...

My family isn't that bad, other than the psycho woman my dad married. Fortunately, she's getting older and less energetic, and isn't as able to act on it as much.

My oldest sister (no pics) is becoming the vapid suburbanite she used to despise. Big hubub this year over where to have xmas dinner. (It's at her house.) My BiL is doing his best to mitigate it with smoked brisket. He's an awesome cook, and I bet it'll be awesome brisket (by Ohio standards.)

Guess I am pretty useful at work. People are losing their shit over me being out for 2 weeks, so I'll be turning off my phone and using a burner for the duration of my vacation.

18 hours ago, CoTex said:

Lateshow - don't forget the in-laws - I'm pretty sure some of yours will go a long way for pills and cheap vodka.

Oh I can't forget them...As much as I have tried, for 15 years, I can't....

Going to Birmingham to visit the wife's family or what's left of them. Her grandma is a sweet old southern well-to-do lady but is getting older, can't hear very well and is more and more anxious about everyone staying in her house. The SiL and MiL are both drunks and the wife can't really stand them much anymore. I actually love visiting Birmingham. Great beer and food scene. Friendly people. There's always a gigantic drunken meltdown involving either the MiL or SiL or both and my wife (who barely drinks because of them). So I have that inevitably to look forward to. Her sister also held grudges from their childhood against her until I sat down and talked to her about it at length. People are just fucking ridiculous. Her mom's the worst too. The absolute worst. I will be drinking heavily all week. Luckily we are going to NOLA to meet her best friend right before New Year's. Will be worth the wait.

17 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

His "root cellar."e51b05851e9841e56056f64ffbb1ac47.jpg

holy fuck. your father in law is a nazi?? wtf

We need pics of the inside. I’m completely sure you’ll get out alive.

  • Author

Not trying to put this in CR territory, just clarifying some shit.

* moved to TX at 14 (dad's job). Love it here. Grew up in 'burbs east of St Paul (Woodbury area)
* wife always knew her dad to be racist, but it was the polite vs overt when she was young. She spent her teen years trying to change his views to no avail
* the führer sign was made for him by a friend. From his church. He's not the only one with one. His fellow prepper friends also display them proudly (they think it's knee slapping funny)

Highlight of the trip was dinner last night. We brought fillets that I grilled. FIL was wondering why he had a butter knife instead of a steak knife. MIL said "they're so tender you'll barely need a knife." He proved her right, because he was so drunk he was cutting his fillet with the top side of the butter knife.

Back home already. Less than 24 hours door to door. Now the fun can begin. Best of luck to the rest of ya surly bastards.

17 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

His "root cellar."e51b05851e9841e56056f64ffbb1ac47.jpg

It's like the graphics guys didn't even try on the last Castle Wolfenstein game.  

The MIL, a little batshit crazy, but a nice lady usually, will not drive to a mid point between her home and our home to meet someone to bring her the rest of the way here. She wants curb service. She drives daily. We told her drive 15 minutes to the train stationed it's $25. We'll pick her up 20 minutes away from our house. Otherwise it's an hour and a half each way Xmas eve to get her.  She refuses to take the train for some reason.

Enjoy your spam dinner ......

Edited by Onboard 2.0

2 hours ago, Parliament said:

 He's an awesome cook, and I bet it'll be awesome brisket (by Ohio standards.)

So oven baked in a turkey pan with a fine basting of liquid smoke?

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Guess I am pretty useful at work. People are losing their shit over me being out for 2 weeks, so I'll be turning off my phone and using a burner for the duration of my vacation.

Username checks out.

4 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

Not trying to put this in CR territory, just clarifying some shit.

* moved to TX at 14 (dad's job). Love it here. Grew up in 'burbs east of St Paul (Woodbury area)
* wife always knew her dad to be racist, but it was the polite vs overt when she was young. She spent her teen years trying to change his views to no avail
* the führer sign was made for him by a friend. From his church. He's not the only one with one. His fellow prepper friends also display them proudly (they think it's knee slapping funny)

Highlight of the trip was dinner last night. We brought fillets that I grilled. FIL was wondering why he had a butter knife instead of a steak knife. MIL said "they're so tender you'll barely need a knife." He proved her right, because he was so drunk he was cutting his fillet with the top side of the butter knife.

Back home already. Less than 24 hours door to door. Now the fun can begin. Best of luck to the rest of ya surly bastards. 

not sure they would still be on my to visit list...jesus christ.

Just got to the ranch after a beating in traffic going through SA. Goddamn it was a beating. Hit the pipe and got my first whiskey drink going. Merry Christmas Surly.

4 hours ago, sidis said:

not sure they would still be on my to visit list...jesus christ.

She can't pick her dad.  

  • Author
1 hour ago, Hate said:

Just got to the ranch after a beating in traffic going through SA. Goddamn it was a beating. Hit the pipe and got my first whiskey drink going. Merry Christmas Surly.

How long are you there, Hate? Peace & good shit to ya. I spent the day going by BB Rover's for the last time (they close tomorrow after 31 years...good run) then grabbed some Texadelphia while doing some last minute shopping w/ my lovely bride. Drinking some Irish whiskey while the pets snore around us & the xmas lights fill the house. 

Celtic Christmas at the Cathedral tomorrow. A Christmas Carol at Zach Scott on Sunday. Things are shaping up.

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