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1 hour ago, Hanrahan said:

I’m in Granbury with the in laws. Had sex with the wife in the morning woods. Don’t care. Had sex.

Rules.

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  • This is always one of my favorite threads.  Usually, I just kick back and enjoy some schadenfreude while reading other people's stories.  But this year is different.  My wife and I have been on the ou

  • took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker. Best thanksgiving ever.    

  • My FIL asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee when I got up this morning. I said yes and he proceeded to pour a cup and put it in the microwave. As he hands it to me he tells me that it was from yesterd

I’m in Granbury with the in laws. Had sex with the wife in the morning woods. Don’t care. Had sex.
This seems like a make believe story.
1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

Bad economy? What country do you live in?

He lives in "I'm a bitch freeloader" Republic 

Guy I got into an altercation with last year already taking shots at Dallas (the city) 7 drinks deep. Stay tuned. 

Just found out the one fellow beer dork family member isn't going to make the Christmas party. Son of a bitch.

That just means you don't have to share...

My mom proclaimed to the family today that I only have a college degree because of my wife. I ask my wife where she was at in Calculus I-III, differential equations and calculus based physics.

My sister-in-law's live-in boyfriend and his buddy are doing a play-by-play of the boyfriend's internet argument with someone about Trump's appointment of Whitaker as AG. I have to listen to the conversation because they're having it where I'm smoking a turkey. 

2 hours ago, ztejas said:

Guy I got into an altercation with last year already taking shots at Dallas (the city) 7 drinks deep. Stay tuned. 

Turn your phone sideways during recording

I’m in Granbury with the in laws. Had sex with the wife in the morning woods. Don’t care. Had sex.

If you’re in Pecan Plantation with me I seent you.

don't mind the little horse running for the woods...

My God, it is over.  Thank the Lord.  The BIL new GF and daughter went to Austin with the In Laws.  Learned that the GF has some "legal issues" to deal with aka meth.  Holy shit she has 2 other kids with 2 other guys that she lost custody to.  In Laws do not know this........yet.   We hid all the expensive stuff.

53 minutes ago, EE2B said:

My mom proclaimed to the family today that I only have a college degree because of my wife. I ask my wife where she was at in Calculus I-III, differential equations and calculus based physics.

Fuckin frat boys?

Really happy my BIL brought his two kids that both have strep throat. 

 

  • Author
36 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

My God, it is over.  Thank the Lord.  The BIL new GF and daughter went to Austin with the In Laws.  Learned that the GF has some "legal issues" to deal with aka meth.  Holy shit she has 2 other kids with 2 other guys that she lost custody to.  In Laws do not know this........yet.   We hid all the expensive stuff.

But was the turkey dry or moist?

11 minutes ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

But was the GF dry or moist?

Fify

Went to a Friendsgiving party today.  We go there every year.  It's awesome.

So, this morning, mother-in-law calls my wife.  (No pics.)  Wants to know when we're coming and we can't because we work and stuff.  Never mind she's retired and lives 3 hours away.  At that point she angrily tells her she's just like her dad and not in a good way.  Wife (no pics) got royally pissed and now we might not be going to see mother-in-law.  Granted, it was a real bitch move by the mother in law but it might get me out of a visit so that's a win.

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

1 minute ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

My advice to you is drink heavily.

8 minutes ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Jesus.

Keep your head up.  That’s rough shit.

5 minutes ago, tx ind said:

My advice to you is drink heavily.

I’m doing my best. What a shitshow. Why didn’t they tell their kids about the divorce beforehand? I’m not criticizing the decision to divorce because I’ve gone through it., too. Just give your teens a chance to process it privately. 

2 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

Jesus.

Keep your head up.  That’s rough shit.

I’ve got to be supportive for my sister’s kids until I get home. I’ll be having words with my sister when I get back. 

8 hours ago, blacklab said:

IMG-4123.jpg

took the boys and the wife to Tahoe for skiing and poker.

Best thanksgiving ever.

 

 

Cost about tree fiddy?   Asking for a fuckface 

2 hours ago, EE2B said:

Calculus I-III, differential equations and calculus based physics.

All of that shit sounds super hard. 

1 hour ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Id charge your niece $400 dollars for every piece of advice you give her about the upcoming divorce...

1 hour ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Your sister sounds like a selfish cunt.

My father in law was taking me to see his new travel trailer today because it was so boring at their house that it was an excuse to get out for a minute.   As we back out of their garage, he freakin side swiped the hell out of my truck.  I saw for a split second that we were way to close to my truck and then, crunch.   He wasnt even watching his side mirror and just backing out blindly because this all could've easily been avoided.   I'm pissed because of all the hassle this is going to turn into now.    I don't even enjoy going over there for holiday meals because their food is usually weird and mediocre.      So we drive 4 hours round trip for a mediocre meal and a scratched and dented truck.   Fun day.

8 hours ago, EE2B said:

calculus based physics.

There's another kind?  Wish I had known that back in the day, life would have been easier fo sho.

20 hours ago, DejaVu said:

I walked all the dogs and fed them this morning. I’m the only one feeding them or walking them. Apparently, this is a service that I provide for free and spares everyone the expensiveness of kenneling, which is what I did with my own dog in order to travel here. 

 

6 hours ago, DejaVu said:

leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Good God man, grow a fucking pair already.

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

 

Good God man, grow a fucking pair already.

Um...so...about that. I don’t think so. 

My BIL, SIL, MIL all live within 10 mins of me. We get along reasonably well and see each other often. What I don’t understand is why do we all have to gather together and bust our asses over holiday meals?

Why can’t I just hang with my wife and kids and keep it at that?

On the road to the ranch finally getting out of East Texas and my in laws house where they keep the heat on at 80 degrees or so.  We come up here once every two years for Thanksgiving.  I always sleep like shit.  

Oh well. They are good people.  

My aunt wants me to meet at their house (complete opposite direction of where the Saturday family gathering is) at 1:30 before we get on the road for 2.5 hours.

Since fuck that, I have whittled down my options to:

1. No. Fuck you. Pick me up along the way.

2. I'm not going I'm watching the Horns and doing fuck all this weekend. Sorry. You're my extended post-step-parent-divorce family anyway. (Said step-parent has also been a hypocritical self important douche lately).

I'm about 50/50 right now.

13 hours ago, Underdog said:

Turn your phone sideways during recording

Everything was amicable. He did at one point drop and shatter a $100 bottle of wine (French - 05) and proceeded to lick some off of the floor.

Oh we also did whipped-cream whippets together in front of everyone.

We almost got into it arguing about Blockchain but he didn't know what the fuck he was talking about so I stepped outside for a cigarette to defuse it. 

Got away with some left over collard greens he made that were fucking incredible so I'm chalking up a W.

12 hours ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Just tell them, "Hey, you get 2 christmases now!". They should like that.

12 hours ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

These are the moments I treasure my family. 

Cowboys won, it was a successful top off to Thanksgiving.  Got a good look in the fridge this a.m at all the left over goodies....  5 more pounds this weekend.

Edited by Onboard 2.0

13 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

But was the turkey dry or moist?

Moist as fuck.  I stayed outside and drank and smoked the bird until it was time to eat.  But thank God everyone is now out of my house.

I’m in Granbury with the in laws. Had sex with the wife in the morning woods. Don’t care. Had sex.


I may know your in-laws. I had the misfortune of living in Granbury several years ago.
On 11/22/2018 at 7:28 AM, luke duke said:

So what’s the difference between a couch and a sofa?

 

 

On 11/22/2018 at 8:07 AM, Bill Brasky said:

is loveseat the right word?  couch seats 3, sofa seats 2 

Go sit on the davenport and think about it. 

Went down to SA for the evening to watch the holiday parade and get shitty on the river walk. Weather is basically perfect. 

23 hours ago, DejaVu said:

My BIL and sister used dinner as a venue to announce their upcoming divorce. It was really comfortable for everyone at the table. 

My mom left immediately after dinner, as did most of the family soon after. At least it got me off dog handling duties. I’m stuck here on the couch with my kiddos until Saturday, and my sister pretty much holed up in her room after dinner, leaving me to discuss this with her kids, who...apparently...didn’t know. 

Robert%20Earl%20Keen%20Christmas%202.jpg

On 11/22/2018 at 6:10 PM, BrazilHorn said:

Really happy my BIL brought his two kids that both have strep throat. 

 

What a bullshit move

I always felt like I'd have nothing to contribute to this thread.  My FIL and BIL can be lazy and entitled, but for the most part, they're harmless.  My MIL is great and a huge help with my kids.  We get along really well with my side of the family which is where we spent Thanksgiving this year.

My parents and my only sister live in New Braunfels.  My sister's husband is a good dude.  He can be a bit loud and obnoxious, but takes good care of my sister and their kids.  They NEVER spend time with his family, and my sister is always pretty quiet about them.  I met them at their wedding 10 years ago, but have only seen them a few times since then.  Well, he finally opened up to me this week.

My nephew came down with a nasty stomach bug, so they took turns at home with him.  He's had digestive issues since birth, so he actually spent Wednesday night in the ER.  My sister came over for Thanksgiving, then went home to relieve my BIL so he could come see the family and eat.  He explained to me that his dad is giving him a hard time because he's getting married Saturday (7th wedding, 6th wife), and he told him he wasn't coming to the wedding because his son was sick.  His dad told him, "Kids get sick.  I'm not sure why that means you can't be there to support me."  Support a 65 year old man getting married for the seventh time.  

BIL then proceeds to tell me that his 89 year old grandfather called him that morning to tell him that he found his mom passed out in her own vomit / shit / piss because she borderline OD'd on pain meds.  That's after my BIL gave her $1,000  earlier in the week b/c she "fell while walking the dog, sprained her ankle, had to miss work and didn't have enough money for her bills" which means she took the cash to get fucked up like Elvis.  He felt so guilty for enabling her and felt bad for his elderly grandfather dealing with that alone.  He said he offered to drive to Houston to help, but his grandfather had it under control by then.  Sounds like best case scenario is he foots the bill for rehab.  Worst case scenario is... worse.

I completely understand why he:

A) enjoys spending time with our family

B) doesn't talk about his family

Watching A Christmas Story this morning while drinking my coffee. I love this damn movie.

Wednesday night-- friends over for drinks and dinner.

Thursday afternoon and night-- Turkey day at different friends' house. .

Friday night-- dinner with different friends.

Saturday afternoon-- Wife says: "We are going to need to leave about 6 pm for the Jones'"

"Honey, I think I'll stay home tonight". 

"You just want to watch football."

 

"Well, yeah". Somehow, that makes me the asshole.

 

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