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  • Popular Post

I was fine while it was happening but am freaking out now, about an hour later.  I was at my kids' school for a book fair.  All of a sudden I heard a lady yelling and a little girl (1st or 2nd grade?) doubled over.  She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  Mom was freaked (obviously) but the girl showed no ill effects at all- they even kept shopping.  My question is... what happens after?  Should we have called 911? Should I have suggested the mom take her to the doctor?  The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

  • Popular Post
2 minutes ago, TexasHooch said:

I was fine while it was happening but am freaking out now, about an hour later.  I was at my kids' school for a book fair.  All of a sudden I heard a lady yelling and a little girl (1st or 2nd grade?) doubled over.  She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  Mom was freaked (obviously) but the girl showed no ill effects at all- they even kept shopping.  My question is... what happens after?  Should we have called 911? Should I have suggested the mom take her to the doctor?  The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

Sounds like my prom night. 

  • Popular Post

I was just at a book fair today when I rounded the corner of the blue case. Some pervert was groping my daughter. As soon as I was ready to swing at him, my wife calmed me down and the pervert was claiming that she was choking.

Should I have punched him or even called the cops?

Luckily he didn’t thrust that hard. My daughter showed zero ill effects.

Pics of the mom aren’t showing up

I love you guys. Never change.

I made your mom choke last night.

  • Author
8 minutes ago, Digdogger said:

Pics of the mom aren’t showing up

naima_adan_elmi2.jpg?itok=c_dBXeBQ

2 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  

Oh your mom gave up way more than that after my 2nd thrust. 

2 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

I was fine while it was happening but am freaking out now, about an hour later.  I was at my kids' school for a book fair.  All of a sudden I heard a lady yelling and a little girl (1st or 2nd grade?) doubled over.  She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  Mom was freaked (obviously) but the girl showed no ill effects at all- they even kept shopping.  My question is... what happens after?  Should we have called 911? Should I have suggested the mom take her to the doctor?  The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

Did the mom even thank you or show any gratitude??

Edited by Stella Link

  • Author

Bit of a language barrier but yes, she was very grateful.  The kid seemed a bit indifferent though.

Maybe I'm drunk, but why were you freaking out an hour after administering a successful Heimlich? 911 what's your emergency? There's a girl shopping with her mom!!1 

Well done though, it amazes me that there are parents who freeze up in that situation. 

Bit of a language barrier but yes, she was very grateful.  The kid seemed a bit indifferent though.

I’ve seen enough movies that prove there’s no language barrier.
9 hours ago, Helobious said:

Oh your mom gave up way more than that after my 2nd thrust. 

It’s piss

It's a fair with lots of books, but that's not important right now.  

8 minutes ago, Hate said:

It's a fair with lots of books, but that's not important right now.  

Dad always said to me “Fair?! The fair’s in October son” 

12 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

Sounds like my prom night. 

you showed no ill effects?

  • Popular Post

It's crazy when shit like that happens.

I met Mack Brown about 6-7 years ago in Dallas. I got roped into watching my friend's 3 month old daughter while my wife got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but Mack Brown himself.

I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon the baby started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Coach February, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Mack put down his magazine, picked up the baby and lifted up his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of the hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

11 hours ago, Doc Sam Beckett said:

Maybe I'm drunk, but why were you freaking out an hour after administering a successful Heimlich? 911 what's your emergency? There's a girl shopping with her mom!!1 

I guess you're too young to remember this sitcom?

11 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

if you didn't break her ribs then you did it wrong 

Yeah I don't think his smooth thrusts from behind are breaking any ribs. And I think mouth to mouth with the mom was probably a little bit overboard, but that was a judgement call on your part in the heat of the moment. I get it.

12 hours ago, Doc Sam Beckett said:

Maybe I'm drunk, but why were you freaking out an hour after administering a successful Heimlich? 911 what's your emergency? There's a girl shopping with her mom!!1 

Well done though, it amazes me that there are parents who freeze up in that situation. 

Well if the picture is indicative - it was a girl of color shopping with her mom, also of a different ethnic origin.
Sounds like 911 should indeed have been called.

1 hour ago, Spankytoes said:

It's crazy when shit like that happens.

I met Mack Brown about 6-7 years ago in Dallas. I got roped into watching my friend's 3 month old daughter while my wife got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but Mack Brown himself.

I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon the baby started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Coach February, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Mack put down his magazine, picked up the baby and lifted up his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of the hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

Too bad it wasn't a couple years later so you could have asked him about traveling in Florida, during December, on someone else's personal plane. 

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP

16 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

I was fine while it was happening but am freaking out now, about an hour later.  I was at my kids' school for a book fair.  All of a sudden I heard a lady yelling and a little girl (1st or 2nd grade?) doubled over.  She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  Mom was freaked (obviously) but the girl showed no ill effects at all- they even kept shopping.  My question is... what happens after?  Should we have called 911? Should I have suggested the mom take her to the doctor?  The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

You did great.

Unless you're the one who gave her candy.

In which case, we'll just call it even.

16 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust. 

I'd engage in more sex if I got 1/2 peppermint candy per thrust. 

That's like, what?   8 candies per sexual encounter?.

16 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

Sounds like my prom night. 

 

3 hours ago, Shoxthemonkey said:

You will never convince me that @TexasHooch and @Clintonaldo didn't plan this like some Abbot and Costello bit. Well done, gents

I posrepped Clintonaldo, but dammit, it just bears further acknowledgment.  It was perfection.  Like watching MLB all-stars turning a double play.

Just now, Brisketexan said:

 

I posrepped Clintonaldo, but dammit, it just bears further acknowledgment.  It was perfection.  Like watching MLB all-stars turning a double play.

Thanks man. I hesitated posting it but assumed everyone would take it for what it was. I am honored sir 

20 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

So you raped a 2nd grader and 35 people congratulated you?

What the fuck man??!!

 

it was at least 38

48 minutes ago, tantric superman said:

I'd engage in more sex if I got 1/2 peppermint candy per thrust. 

That's like, what?   8 candies per sexual encounter?.

Only one man can solve this kind of math.  @Casual Encounter to the white courtesy phone please.

I'd engage in more sex if I got 1/2 peppermint candy per thrust. 
That's like, what?   8 candies per sexual encounter?.


Username does not check out.
16 hours ago, miguelito said:

Are you Moonlight Doc Graham?

She'll be doing handspring's in no time

17 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

 The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

tenor.gif?itemid=4084628

4 hours ago, Spankytoes said:

It's crazy when shit like that happens.

I met Mack Brown about 6-7 years ago in Dallas. I got roped into watching my friend's 3 month old daughter while my wife got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in but Mack Brown himself.

I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon the baby started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want her to bother Coach February, but she wouldn't stop. Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Mack put down his magazine, picked up the baby and lifted up his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of the hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

Mack Brown's moobs are probably permanently packed with buttery colostrum. Rumor was Sally used to add it to her cookies.

  • Author
3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

 

I posrepped Clintonaldo, but dammit, it just bears further acknowledgment.  It was perfection.  Like watching MLB all-stars turning a double play.

I knew full well what I was inviting when I typed  the word "thrust", but I never considered that sentence as a whole.  So, it was more like me throwing batting practice than being half of a double play.  Probably should have locked it up right there.

3 hours ago, tantric superman said:

I'd engage in more sex if I got 1/2 peppermint candy per thrust. 

That's like, what?   8 candies per sexual encounter?.

 

2 hours ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

Only one man can solve this kind of math.  @Casual Encounter to the white courtesy phone please.

First, focus on hooking up with more hostesses. They’re loaded with mints, whole ones. If you’re good with your tongue they may let you have the entire bowl.

As for the OP, the story would have only been made better if the girl was named Marcy and this occurred on the Playground.

 

20 hours ago, TexasHooch said:

I was fine while it was happening but am freaking out now, about an hour later.  I was at my kids' school for a book fair.  All of a sudden I heard a lady yelling and a little girl (1st or 2nd grade?) doubled over.  She gave up a peppermint candy after the 2nd thrust.  Mom was freaked (obviously) but the girl showed no ill effects at all- they even kept shopping.  My question is... what happens after?  Should we have called 911? Should I have suggested the mom take her to the doctor?  The whole thing from beginning to end took no more than 10 seconds, I didn't thrust that hard, and the girl showed zero ill effects.

I had my life saved in high school thanks to the Heimlich. I was starting to lose consciousness when one of my friends at lunch finally figured out what was going on and took action.

I tried to play it off, headed back to class after lunch. Didn't tell my parents. Eventually they found out and got nuclear pissed at me for not telling them, and then a couple of days later I developed a bad cough and some fluid in my lungs. Doctor took care of it, said it was no big deal.  

Long story short, no you didn't need to do anything else except post mom pics.

 

A few years ago a fat lady at my office was choking on a piece of Rudy’s brisket from a catered lunch.  Luckily she wasn’t so fat that I couldn’t reach around her.  Gave her the ol’ heave ho heimlich, on the second try the brisket came flying out.  Then she vomited on my arm.   Good times.   She didn’t pick up the piece of brisket and try to eat it again at least.  

I just played the Bach Prelude in C minor BWV 999 on my guitar, what do I win?

4 minutes ago, Jiggy-Z said:

I just played the Bach Prelude in C minor BWV 999 on my guitar, what do I win?

A used peppermint?

22 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

Well if the picture is indicative - it was a girl of color shopping with her mom, also of a different ethnic origin.
Sounds like 911 should indeed have been called.

Culturally speaking, if it had taken three thrusts you would now be married to the girl, so in this case it’s good you are a two thrust guy.

I think this is known as the Beetlejuice marriage clause.

O.P., why don't you have a seat over there.....wait, you said heimlich, I thought you said hind....never mind...

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