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Featured Replies

Well, just a second there, professor. We, uh, we fixed the glitch.  So he won't be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it'll just work itself out naturally.

You know what I'd do, man?  Two chicks at the same time.

if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire.

Bob Slydell : What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the customer and bring them down to the software engineers?

Tom Smykowski : Yes, yes that's right.

Bob Porter : Well then I just have to ask why can't the customers take them directly to the software people?

Tom Smykowski : Well, I'll tell you why, because, engineers are not good at dealing with customers.

Bob Slydell : So you physically take the specs from the customer?

Tom Smykowski : Well... No. My secretary does that, or they're faxed.

Bob Porter : So then you must physically bring them to the software people?

Tom Smykowski : Well. No. Ah sometimes.

Bob Slydell : What would you say you do here?

Tom Smykowski : Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Why should I change my name? He's the one who sucks. 

Watch out for your cornhole, bud.

  • Author
41 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I told those fudge-packers I liked Michael Bolton's music.

Cock gobblers!

Na ga, na ga, nagonnaworkhereanymore.


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Federal pound me in the ass prison.

So can I get you gentlemen something more to drink? Or maybe something to nibble on? Some Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?

Just coffee.

Okay. Sounds like a case of the Mondays.

uh, yeah, I'm gonna have to go ahead and sort of disagree with you there

  • Author

You know, the Nazis has pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

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