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Featured Replies

Quote

The CIA assassinated John F. Kennedy after he refused to kill and replace billions of birds with drones. The U.S. government is sequestering a team of Boeing engineers in Area 51 for a secret military mission. Our tax dollars have been funneled into building the “Turkey X500,” a robot used to hunt large birds.

heyhey_1024x10242x.jpg

 

I would love to be making this up.

Are Birds Actually Government-Issued Drones? So Says a New Conspiracy Theory Making Waves (and Money)

I think shit like this (and the flat-earth folks, etc) is a product of boredom.  these are bored people who are just trolling and it’s mildly amusing to them because of the shock it delivers to normal people.  I have a hard time accepting that anyone really believes it.  perhaps I’m overestimating humanity, though. 

well after actually reading the article it’s just bored college kids trolling for mild amusement.  I was right!  I am a genius. 

Edited by futureman

  • Popular Post

As God is my witness, I thought the Turkey X500 could fly. 

You’d be paranoid too if the whole world was against you. 

It's all in accordance with the Trilateral Commission's plan.

If by "Government", you mean pre-Lizard-People Dwarven crafters in the service of the Knights Templars, then sure, birds are "Government" drones.

Then I'm can oralthernonlogist.  

Who's the piece of shit responsible for programming said drones to shit all over my car every time I wash it?

 

I want to take a shit on his windshield now

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

You see.. the lack of respect is at the core of all your issues.

Bow down before the ones you serve or you're going to get what you deserve.

Maybe he'd rather die than give you control.

2 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

Birds serve zero purpose. Fuck birds

Sounds like Thanksgiving at the Neonmoon household probably sucks. 

I plan on taking out 6 duck drones tomorrow morning.

2 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

You see.. the lack of respect is at the core of all your issues.

Bow down before the ones you serve or you're going to get what you deserve.

I wish I could see your face in the morning when you see that log on your windshield!

2 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Maybe he'd rather die than give you control.

God, money... I'd do anything for you.

2 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

What do you eat on Tuesday?

Is Tuesday bird day like Good Friday is no meat day ?

15 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

If by "Government", you mean pre-Lizard-People Dwarven crafters in the service of the Knights Templars, then sure, birds are "Government" drones.

It's not a coincidence that Ben Franklin, a Mason, wanted the Turkey X500 to be the national bird. 

It ain’t cool being no jive turkeyX500 so close to thanksgiving.

15 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

I for one welcome our new bird drone overlords.

They are going to start eating us on Tuesdays.

3 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

They are going to start eating us on Tuesdays.

If Tuesday is anything like this Monday has been, they can have my ass.

That's not why the CIA killed JFK?  🧐

The drone I ate for dinner yesterday was dry as fuck.

He’s a menace to everything in the sky.

yes, birds too.  

On 11/19/2018 at 10:11 AM, Fudge Nuggets said:

They are going to start eating us on Tuesdays.

Not before I've had my snow coffee

 

All this time I thought the metal I find in ducks, geese, and dove was shot......This explains everything.

The CIA put a microchip in my rooster.

On 12/5/2018 at 12:25 AM, ADHD said:

The CIA put a microchip in my rooster.

They just wanted to grab your cock.

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