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Lincoln Riley is gay and thinks there's something wrong with that, so he instead traps his wife into a sexless marriage, persecutes "out" gays vocally, and subscribes to bodybuilding magazines.

Lincoln Riley has a "My other car is also a Porsche" bumper sticker on both of his '74 914s.

12 hours ago, wild_turkey said:

 

Lincoln Riley parks in the handicap spot at Luby’s.

Double-parks.

 

Lincoln Riley orders steak well done.

Lincoln Riley puts his used chewing gum under his chair rather than throwing it away.

Lincoln Riley flushes his used tampons.

Lincoln Riley thinks JoePa did nothing wrong.

Lincoln Riley thinks the Baylor football players did nothing wrong.

Lincoln Riley drives ten mph under the speed limit in the left lane.

Lincoln Riley still uses Blackberry

Lincoln Riley is a huge fan of ISIS and thinks they are doing great things for the community.

Lincoln Riley prefers to microwave his Thanksgiving turkey.

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Lincoln Riley doesn't catch and release, and also doesn't eat his catch. He just leaves the fish on the shore to die.

Lincoln Riley feeds his cat a vegan diet.

Lincoln Riley thinks Sara Jean Underwood is "meh."

Lincoln Riley surfs Shaggy ... for the scat porn.

Lincoln Riley prefers Burger King to Whataburger.

Lincoln Riley thinks that's a win for the Cubs.

Lincoln Riley was once arrested for flashing a school bus full of elementary school kids. Charges were dropped because nobody could see anything.

Lincoln Riley's favorite running jokes are always greeting his friends with the budweiser "wassuuup" and using his borat impression every chance he gets. 

His favorite part about these two is that they never get old and only get better the more you use them. 

Lincoln prefers no NSAA.

Lincoln Riley uses the phrase "dilly dilly."

2 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

Lincoln Riley uses the phrase "dilly dilly."

When he says grace at Thanksgiving dinner.  

Lincoln Riley watches Teletubbies and dreams of abusing Po but is afraid Tinky Winky will deny him cock.

Lincoln Riley contributed to a Texas senatorial campaign 

Lincoln Riley thinks Gran Torino sucks, and laughs so hard he snorts when Walt commits suicide. 

Lincoln Riley ties his shoes with a double knot. 

Lincoln Riley uses the passenger side floorboard as an ash tray.

Lincoln Riley was impressed by the Sooners' defensive prowess yesterday

6 hours ago, Istian said:

Lincoln Riley ties his shoes with a double knot. 

Lincoln Riley still wears Velcro shoes with blinking lights

Lincoln Riley serves his party guests chicken that is cooked to an internal temperature of 120 degrees.

On 11/24/2018 at 11:26 AM, Rimbo said:

Lincoln Riley drives ten mph under the speed limit in the left lane.

Lincoln Riley still uses Blackberry

And calls it his "crackberry"

Lincoln Riley watches Hallmark Christmas movies all year long and has petitioned the FCC to remove all other television programming 

Lincoln Riley mixes skittles, m&ms, and Reeses Pieces in his candy dish for parties.

Lincoln Riley is hosting a holiday party with an open bar.  

When his guests arrive, they will discover that his bar only stocks sodas and ice tea. 

Lincoln Riley selflessly likes and shares on Facebook even when he doesn't agree, because he feels others might want the chance to do so.

Lincoln Riley thinks Howie Long's performance in the Skechers Wide Fit commercial is top notch. They are now the only footwear he will consider for formal occasions.

Edited by CBHorn

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