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Featured Replies

1 hour ago, Blotto said:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/body-missing-man-found-inside-153542409.html

The story isn't really what reminded me of Surly. It was the pink dick added to the dinosaur that reminded me of Surly

9098ab7ce46a2e3c613c38351b70a9ff

That's awesome.  Good to see @THUJONE was able to get to Barcelona despite travel restrictions.  

I saw that story earlier today, but missed the pink phallus.  

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Replies 2.2k
  • Views 188.7k
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Smith County Sheriff officials said on April 27 in the Smith County Elections Office in the Smith County Annex Building two female victims who are employed in the elections office, said they were each given a cup containing a pink liquid substance by their supervisor, Hernandez.

Hernandez informed the employees that the cup contained “Spark” energy drink. Both subjects consumed the drink, believing their supervisor, investigators said.

Investigators said a short time later, Hernandez came back and asked both employees if they had finished their drinks. She then allegedly placed a canister of colon cleanser on the counter and began making fun of them for drinking this product. As a result, both employees said they suffered pain and discomfort due to ingesting the product.

It was also alleged that when the employees returned to work, Hernandez continued to laugh and berate them for drinking the colon cleansing product.

1 hour ago, RPM said:

Smith County Sheriff officials said on April 27 in the Smith County Elections Office in the Smith County Annex Building two female victims who are employed in the elections office, said they were each given a cup containing a pink liquid substance by their supervisor, Hernandez.

Hernandez informed the employees that the cup contained “Spark” energy drink. Both subjects consumed the drink, believing their supervisor, investigators said.

Investigators said a short time later, Hernandez came back and asked both employees if they had finished their drinks. She then allegedly placed a canister of colon cleanser on the counter and began making fun of them for drinking this product. As a result, both employees said they suffered pain and discomfort due to ingesting the product.

It was also alleged that when the employees returned to work, Hernandez continued to laugh and berate them for drinking the colon cleansing product.




I read this and I just wonder ... in what reality did she think it was a good idea to put colon cleanser in her employee's drinks? 

  • 2 weeks later...

NBC Shit Show: ‘Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide’ Production Shut Down Over ‘Explosive Diarrhea’ Outbreak (Exclusive)

NBC’s “Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide” just became the ultimate s— show.

The upcoming TV competition series, adapted from the classic backyard waterslide by Wham-O, has shut down indefinitely after up to 40 crew members fell violently ill during production on a remote ranch in Simi Valley, California, TheWrap has learned. According to a person with knowledge of the production, the outbreak of “awful explosive diarrhea” left people “collapsing” on set and “being forced to run into port-o-potties.”

On 6/18/2021 at 5:45 PM, Parliament said:

Screenshot_20210618-174405_Chrome.jpg

That may be some folks here, but have you visited the wives and stupid shit thread? Not one damn married surly man getting a BJ while driving, much less getting one while driving without her bitching about the speed, directions, or just looking at her phone

35 minutes ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

More than 41,000 people have signed petitions to stop Jeff Bezos from returning to Earth after his trip to space next month


https://news.yahoo.com/more-41-000-people-signed-095135367.html

The software running the petition was almost certainly hosted on AWS servers. 99% of those 41,000 people probably have multiple items in their home procured from Amazon. They hate him because they wanna be him. 

1 hour ago, nnm said:

The software running the petition was almost certainly hosted on AWS servers. 99% of those 41,000 people probably have multiple items in their home procured from Amazon. They hate him because they wanna be him. 


Well, fiery envy, scalding jealousy, scorching contempt and sizzling scorn are the essence of SurlyHorns.   Or at least of me. 

 

'The first vehicle that came through, we found meth, marijuana, and an open alcohol container,' Doyle said. 
'And then one of the occupants had two active warrants... 'We were like 'well, this doesn't bode well for the weekend'.' 

 

 

 

 

 

9 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

 

'The first vehicle that came through, we found meth, marijuana, and an open alcohol container,' Doyle said. 
'And then one of the occupants had two active warrants... 'We were like 'well, this doesn't bode well for the weekend'.' 

 

 

 

 

 

I read that this morning and the first thing I thought of was Rednecks with Paychecks makes them look like pussies.

 

https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article252455148.html

Tina%20Gonzale_fitted.jpeg

Quote

As a 26-year veteran of the Sheriff’s Office, McComas said he has seen and heard some “pretty disgusting things” but Gonzalez’s conduct, tops his list.

She allegedly cut a hole in her uniform to make it easier to have sex with the inmate she was involved with. He also accused her of having sex inside the jail in full view of 11 inmates.

“That is something only a depraved mind can come up with,” he said.

Officer McCombs must not spend much time  surfing internet porn. He probably also finds ketchup too spicy.

7 minutes ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:


Was that wrong? Should she not have done that?  Because I gotta tell you that if anybody had told her that that kind of thing was frowned upon ....

george costanza comedy GIF

https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article252455148.html
Tina%20Gonzale_fitted.jpeg
As a 26-year veteran of the Sheriff’s Office, McComas said he has seen and heard some “pretty disgusting things” but Gonzalez’s conduct, tops his list.
She allegedly cut a hole in her uniform to make it easier to have sex with the inmate she was involved with. He also accused her of having sex inside the jail in full view of 11 inmates.
“That is something only a depraved mind can come up with,” he said.
Officer McCombs must not spend much time  surfing internet porn. He probably also finds ketchup too spicy.

I wonder what his Surly handle is?

Largest hailstone in Texas history found near Hondo.  So what reminds me of Surly?

"researchers saw a picture of a different hailstone circulating social media after the storm and thought it may have been larger than this one, but the person who recovered it used it to make margaritas instead."

https://www.dallasnews.com/news/weather/2021/07/02/64-inch-hailstone-dropped-near-san-antonio-confirmed-as-largest-in-texas-history-researchers-say/




 

Giant 6.4 inch hailstone.jpg

I’m pretty sure we know who was involved.

“Police need your help identifying the shooter who opened fire outside of a northeast Houston barbershop after arguing with another man over who won a previous foot race. Officials said the suspected shooter also shot two other innocent bystanders before he fled the scene.”

https://abc13.com/amp/3-people-shot-northeast-houston-shooting-scene-police/10877693/?ex_cid=TA_KTRK_TW&taid=60eb10d6fdc7d300011ff043&utm_campaign=trueAnthem%3A%20Trending%20Content&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter&__twitter_impression=true

I’m pretty sure we know who was involved.

“Police need your help identifying the shooter who opened fire outside of a northeast Houston barbershop after arguing with another man over who won a previous foot race. Officials said the suspected shooter also shot two other innocent bystanders before he fled the scene.”

https://abc13.com/amp/3-people-shot-northeast-houston-shooting-scene-police/10877693/?ex_cid=TA_KTRK_TW&taid=60eb10d6fdc7d300011ff043&utm_campaign=trueAnthem%3A%20Trending%20Content&utm_medium=trueAnthem&utm_source=twitter&__twitter_impression=true



giphy.gif

“Be on the lookout for a man running from a footrace….”
1 hour ago, Gatorubet said:

 

 


giphy.gif

“Be on the lookout for a man running from a footrace….”

 

 

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57 minutes ago, Parliament said:

KaneMansir.jpg?width=1440

Lt. Col. Richard Kane Mansir, a civil affairs officer based at Joint Base Langley-Eustis, Virginia, has had “serious, long-term relationships” with at least six other women over the last five years, while still married to his wife of 18 years, according to a Daily Beast report. The investigation was first reported by Army Times. 

According to Army service records, Mansir has served with the 91st Civil Affairs Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment, and Army Special Operations Command. He commissioned as a second lieutenant in 2003, and has received the Bronze Star, four Meritorious Service Medals, Joint Service Commendation Medal, and three Army Commendation Medals.

Throughout the relationships, Mansir reportedly lied about being on deployments, going so far as to provide at least one woman with deployment papers the Daily Beast said appear to be fake, and receiving the Silver Star. According to his Army record, Mansir previously deployed to Afghanistan in 2011 and 2012; he has also served in Kuwait, Mali and Germany, according to the Army, though they did not specify when. The Daily Beast reported he has not been overseas since 2014.

He has also not received a Silver Star, according to his record.

Mansir reportedly rented a townhouse for one woman he was engaged to, Chelsea Curnutt, while he was living on base and she was pregnant with their child, went on trips with another woman he was engaged to, and even met the womens’ parents. He reportedly told women he was divorced from his wife at the time — whom he was very much still married to and had three children with, and said one of those three children, his daughter, had died. 

“He’s got this playbook,” one woman who was engaged to Mansir in 2017 told the Daily Beast. “He tells these lies about his dead children, about his [post-traumatic stress disorder], his deployments, and all the horrible things he’s had to do. He creates all these imaginary traumas to cloak his lies in.” 

In 2019, the crime of adultery under the Uniform Code of Military Justice was rebranded as “extramarital sexual conduct.” The maximum punishment is a dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of pay, and up to a year of confinement. Lesser punishments include administrative separations or court-martial with reduction of rank, lesser time in confinement, and punitive action.

 

On 4/1/2019 at 4:17 PM, Kyrie Eleison said:

booty-tickler.png?fit=671,346

Tickling Buttholes is not a bad name for a band. 

20 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

arguing with another man over who won a previous foot race.

Race.gif

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Race.gif

If he had "Chose not to Run!" this all could have been avoided.

On 7/1/2021 at 8:31 AM, Blotto said:

https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article252455148.html

Tina%20Gonzale_fitted.jpeg

Officer McCombs must not spend much time  surfing internet porn. He probably also finds ketchup too spicy.

Quote

She allegedly cut a hole in her uniform to make it easier to have sex with the inmate she was involved with.

So they're saying she wears underwears with dickholes in them?

I know some on here will not care for all of the clutching of pearls by some of the parents quoted, but any article that has the phrase "Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey" really needs to be on Surly.  Also, "Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey" is some strong band name potential.

London library apologises for bringing actor dressed in bare-bottom monkey costume to children’s event

 
Quote
London library has apologised for holding an event to encourage children to read during which an actor dressed in a bare-bottomed monkey costume with a fake penis.
 

Footage shared on social media on Saturday showed members of the Mandiga Arts Group at Redbridge Libraries Summer Reading Challenge event at Goodmayes Library in east London.

 

Three performers were filmed outside the event, with one dressed in an ‘inappropriate’ rainbow monkey costume, raising concern from residents.

Writer Janice Turner wrote: “I would really love a detailed breakdown of the commissioning process whereby Redbridge council commissioned the Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey as a means to teach children to read.”

 

Conservative campaigner Has Ahmed said: “Apparently this is meant to encourage kids in Redbridge to pick up reading for summer. Please tell me the rationale behind these indecent costumes that were shown to families and done so publicly. Is this really necessary?”

 

Images also showed the actor inside the library, causing an uproar among parents.
 

One parent said: “Someone needs to lose their job over this.”

 

A second asked: “This is unbelievable. Have we completely lost our moral compass as a society?”

 

Redbridge Libraries have since apologised, ensuring that “this will never happen again.”

 

“During an event put on at the library today there was a performance by a Carnival Arts Company.

 

“Unfortunately one of the animal costumes was inappropriate which we were not aware of at the time of booking,” they tweeted.

“We deeply apologise for the offence caused. This is being looked into.”
 
Redbridge Council said that they did not arrange the event and it was organised by Vision Redbridge Culture and Leisure (RCL), a registered charity and a non-profit organisation, who have “since apologised to residents”.
 
In a statement to the Standard, the council said: “We are utterly appalled by the unacceptable event at Redbridge Libraries on Saturday organised by our independent leisure contractor, Vision.
 

“The contractor had commissioned characters to support the start of the Summer Reading Challenge, but the costume in question was wholly inappropriate for the intended audience.

 

“A full and thorough investigation into how this incident happened has been launched and stringent action will be taken. We sincerely apologise for the offence and distress this has caused.”

 

Council leader Jas Athwal added that all future performances have been cancelled.

 

Mandiga Arts Group also apologised for the offence caused.

 

“We never intended to offend residents. We respect everyone’s individual opinion with no offence to any part,” they wrote.

 

Pretty sure I saw him at Times Square handing out with Spider-Man and Winnie the Pooh.

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