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Featured Replies

From Know Your Meme, concerning "CJK5H:"

About

CJK5H is an abbreviation for the phrase “Craig James killed five hookers”, an unfounded statement associated with an online smear campaign targeting retired football player and commentator Craig James, in similar vein to the Glenn Beck rape and murder hoax in 2009. The campaign was reinvigorated after James announced he would be running for the United States Senate in December of 2011

15 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

A&M gave him that.  

Yep. All SMU did there was cover the rest of the balance on the note. A&M was too cheap to get it in full...either that or it was just a carrot to keep him there.

1 hour ago, tjhooker said:

I was disappointed to Google Craig James just now and nothing about hookers popped up.

Maybe 5 hookers killed Craig James?

Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.


Jefferson is going to be so pissed.
20 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Anytime I am at a urinal and there's a chalk board above it I always scrawl CJK5H on it. 

That chalk must be disgusting.  

12 hours ago, pops said:

You're a pony? My man.

I am, just don't tell Phlegm or... oh shit too late. 

3 hours ago, phdhorn said:

Maybe 5 hookers killed Craig James?

This is what I'm picturing 

cjk5h2.jpg

He reminds me of Steve Garvey. I hated them both as athletes because they were on rival teams, and both of them had this disgustingly clean-cut image. And both of them are fucking weirdos who at one point had political aspirations. Garvey's ex-wife told the media he was a lot like Ted Bundy and that was that for Garvey's political career. "If Ted Bundy's a 10, Steve is a 7," she said. So that presents a good math puzzle: given what we know about Bundy, and that Craig James killed 5 hookers, and that Garvey was only 70 percent Bundy, how many hookers did Steve Garvey kill?

 

Edited by MaybeACoordinator

22 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

.......... So that presents a good math puzzle: given what we know about Bundy, and that Craig James killed 5 hookers, and that Garvey was only 70 percent Bundy, how many hookers did Steve Garvey kill?

 

He didn't kill the hookers, just their Padres near the end of his career.

Edited by Whitman

Well, Bundy was convicted of 30 homicides, but most estimates run higher than that. Wikipedia identifies another 13 murder cases as "possible" Bundy victims.

So let's say we go with 45. Now, we have to ask ourselves if the Bundy-scale is liner or perhaps more exponential. I would guess it's more exponential. So, let's square each for 49 and 100 "murder points". Meaning that, as a rough estimate, Garvey probably killed one hooker for each of Bundy's victims.

But I digress. TLDR it's safe to assume Garvey had his hands in the killing of at least 15-20 hookers.

Steve Garvey killed him.

 

 

Rip to the hookers

I made a donation after reading to the save a hooker wildlife fund. For just a quarter a month i sponsor a hooker whos endangered in losing her life.

I hope you guys follow suit. If so,we can prevent more tragedies like the one craig pulled when he killed 5 hookers while at SMU

15 hours ago, tjhooker said:

I was disappointed to Google Craig James just now and nothing about hookers popped up.

I blame this on Fuck Kevin Morgan.

On 12/14/2018 at 12:01 PM, Wally Fairway said:

First thing I'm doing when I move back to Houston is get this plate for my ride

PLPC001?plateText=CJK5H

Not if this fella still has it:

 

6 minutes ago, threesheets said:

Not if this fella still has it:

 

The only thing that would be better than this is if it was a plate from the State of Washington instead of Texas and the vehicle was registered in Pullman

Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.

Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.


That’s why they have a second or third chorus.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reading James's explanation as to why people hate him was incredible.
This. Completely lame.
Not if this fella still has it:
 
Fuck cockroaches
Fuck alpo
Guys, what if Craig James killed, I dunno, like six or seven hookers? Mebbe more in his zeal. Then memes would be wrong and shit. That motherfucker's license plate posted above would be wrong - everything would be wrong. And each of those six or seven+ hookers are some father's daughter, so accuracy is important.
Fuck off Craig.

Okay I am trying to nail down the math problem.

The only given is that Craig James killed five hookers while at SMU.

Ted Bundy killed about 30 people. Nobody is sure how many.

Or how many were hookers. 

And Steve Garvey's ex she says he was only 70 percent of Bundy.

Math was why I did not graduate from UT, but I am sure the hive mind here can place James on a scale. 

On 12/14/2018 at 6:39 AM, Bill Lumbergh said:

This article, CJK5H. 

Wikipedia page, CJK5H. 

Google profile, CJK5H. 

No matter what James ever says publicly, you know it will grate at him until the day he dies that no profile of him will ever be written again without mentioning this rumor.  It's outstanding and deserved. 

In so many ways.

It's poetic. He tried to spread a deliberate lie, and he dies by a deliberate lie.

  • 1 year later...

This was on the Amazon Kindle daily deals page today:

51KWYYAXuYL._SY346_.jpg

Someone should write a sequel about the 5H that CJK.

Really thought this bump was to announce he got COVID from his church choir

4 hours ago, Bartles said:

Really thought this bump was to announce he got COVID from his church choir

There’s a choir of 5 hookers in heaven thanks to #CJK5H, which got me to singing:

There were 4 hooker angels

At the alter of the sun

They were praying for ponies

When Craig James came to run

When the game stopped and the crowd cleared

There was killing on his mind,

And 4 dead hookers, took another angel home.

(apologies to Willie, but I’m sure he’d support #CJK5H)

Edit:  similar to @tjhooker, I googled Craig James, and was disappointed to see nothing about 5 dead hookers.  However, did you know that the Philadelphia Eagles have an active roster CB named Craig James, from Southern Illinois?  Poor dude.  https://www.nfl.com/players/craig-james/

Edited by nnm

I only know that listening to his shit during the last aggy game makes me want to throw a brick through the screen.  How this pos ever got a job announcing football games just proves that tv execs know jack shit about broadcasting.  Rot in Hell, CJK5H

8 hours ago, Bartles said:

Really thought this bump was to announce he got COVID from his church choir

I figured he had lost a primary runoff election for some bullshit little rep seat.

i was hoping he had suffered a torturous, painful death.

15 hours ago, AnTiM said:

I only know that listening to his shit during the last aggy game makes me want to throw a brick through the screen.  How this pos ever got a job announcing football games just proves that tv execs know jack shit about broadcasting.  Rot in Hell, CJK5H

No shit.  I yell at his stupidity every time that game comes on.

37 minutes ago, Tex Long said:

CJK2+2H imo

That only makes 4. The magic number is 5. 

1 hour ago, nnm said:

That only makes 4. 

Clearly, you lack understanding of modern Maths.

In fact 2+2 is equal to 5, for sufficiently large values of 2.

In the instant case, it seems likely the victims were 2 females and 2 shemales.

Edited by Tex Long

  • 1 year later...
1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

This is fucking sublime

 

 

Beyond sublime...serendipitous?

On 7/20/2020 at 7:55 AM, slorch said:

i was hoping he had suffered a torturous, painful death.

There are many long, dark winding roads between Frisco and Jacksonville. A man could get lost…

On 12/14/2018 at 12:07 PM, MissingInAction said:

Anytime I am at a urinal and there's a chalk board above it I always scrawl CJK5H on it. 

How often are you at a urinal with a chalk board above it?  

16 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Most bars in the downtown area have them. 

Why?

On 12/15/2018 at 6:29 PM, TrashMaster G said:

Speaking of TV twatwaffles that disappeared.... What ever happened to Trev Alberts?

He’s the AD for Nebraska. No shit. 

5 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

This is fucking sublime

 

 

Pretty sure he killed Hookers 1-4 too.

Allegedly.

46 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Because you touched yourself at your sisters pool parties.

0c1e8c8d1ab5fb33477924185adb035c.gif

Why?
Can you think of any better place for witty prose to flow? Maybe above a glory hole for you, so I understand your disbelief.

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