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On 2/7/2019 at 12:15 PM, NWBuck said:

2019?

Hell, I'm still waiting on 2018 (and a good portion of 2017 as well)

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 

Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives

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Last time was with my soon-to-be-ex-wife in Paris back in early May.  Hopefully the open market will produce better results in the Gettin Laid: 2020 thread.

1 hour ago, South Austin said:

Last time was with my soon-to-be-ex-wife in Paris back in early May.  Hopefully the open market will produce better results in the Gettin Laid: 2020 thread.

Apple fell pretty far from the tree it appears.

On 1/1/2019 at 10:47 PM, mulletpelini said:

pretty sure I did, too drunk to know for sure though.

does your ass hurt when you walk?

Well Mrs. CHIEF had me leave our cock blocking weiner dog in the living room last night, so I knew something was up. One of about a half dozen times in the last 26 years she has been the initiator. Banged her like a screen door in a hurricane.

CHIEF

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 
Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives


Am I reading this correctly? You haven’t been laid in almost 2 years? Have you sought professional help? Serious question.
5 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 

Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives

Damn.

And I thought the 3 times of "intimacy" I had with the ex in the last year of our marriage was tough.

 

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Dang, Buck. No sex for over a year? That has to be on purpose, right?

And back to the spirit of the thread...had a succesful romp with the wife on Saturday. She was Ambien'd up enough that she slid me out of the V, slid me into the B, and told me to C. Holla!

Got some on Christmas Eve. Wife is 5 months preggo so it wasn't too adventurous, but I'll take it.



Am I reading this correctly? You haven’t been laid in almost 2 years? Have you sought professional help? Serious question.

By this, he means a whore. Not a counselor.
Damn.
And I thought the 3 times of "intimacy" I had with the ex in the last year of our marriage was tough.
 
That actually is tough.

9 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 

Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives

This is the lulz forum, not the sadz one.


By this, he means a whore. Not a counselor.


This is exactly what I mean.
11 hours ago, NWBuck said:

Bumping this old thread as we come to the end of the year. 

Unfortunately, that's the only bumping and coming that 2019 saw for yours truly. #TheStreakLives

serious question...have you tried to get laid?

7 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

serious question...have you tried to get laid?

Yup- And if my wife finds out, I'll get to post in the Divorce Stuff thread.

Thanks for checking in, folks- wife is an amazing partner, great mom, and patient as hell with me. She's also got stuff in her personal history that have always impacted her ability to manifest physical intimacy (won't share more, and no pics in spite of the rules). I love her and feel loved by her very deeply.

(and no, she's not watching me type this as we speak).

Here's to 2020!

1 minute ago, NWBuck said:

Yup- And if my wife finds out, I'll get to post in the Divorce Stuff thread.

Thanks for checking in, folks- wife is an amazing partner, great mom, and patient as hell with me. She's also got stuff in her personal history that have always impacted her ability to manifest physical intimacy (won't share more, and no pics in spite of the rules). I love her and feel loved by her very deeply.

(and no, she's not watching me type this as we speak).

Here's to 2020!

damn. that's tough to read. 

40 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt said:

damn. that's tough to read. 

No shit. I get irritable after a dry week, a whole year would be insane. 

I've probably gotten laid about 200 times this year.  Life is good!

Jesus Christ. I feel for some of you guys. I can’t remember more than 4 or 5 times when the GF has said “no”. Granted, it’s not always the earth-shaking variety, but hell, quickies can be nice too.

51 minutes ago, Sandman said:

No shit. I get irritable after a dry week, a whole year would be insane. 

Same.  Id be out on the prowl and seeking a lawyer ASAP. 

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

I've probably gotten laid about 200 times this year.  Life is good!

Wait...  masturbation counts?  

9 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Wait...  masturbation counts?  

counts as a half apparently

It's been kind of funny how this thread and "Stupid things wives do..." have been bouncing back and forth at the top of the Lulz page today.  

Reading this thread makes me realize how damn lucky I am.  Been married 17 years.  We average "stuff" about 3 times a week.  

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

16 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

LOL. 

1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

Had a good year given the circumstances.  Boned 10 new girls (some a few times or a ton of times) and only one was a pro.  Used 1 condom.  Got 1 restraining order.  Got no kids or STDs.  For a move and staying single for 8 months I'll take it.  Even had some variety with a crossfit girl that could snap me off, a real nasty woman, two over the age of 40, and one that smelled like patchouli.

2020 is going to be better.

“Got” as in had to get, or “Got” as in you were served?  

34 minutes ago, ABSR said:

“Got” as in had to get, or “Got” as in you were served?  

I had to get an emergency protective order against the second girl I boned here... fuckin oklahoma man.

I was able to hop onto a few lily pads when I got to Boerne for Xmas. None of them new, just some old reliables that are still hot, still morally casual, and still cancel their plans to see me.

Call it a well needed confidence booster to kick off 2020.

42 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

I had to get an emergency protective order against the second girl I boned here... fuckin oklahoma man.

Are going to make me ask for the story on this one? You can’t just go around posting about emergency protective orders without giving us some details.

I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

49 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

one of the worst 'Dear Penthouse Forum' letters ever  

I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".

Bitches be cray.
I put the story on here a while back... might have been in the butt pee room.  Basically, I met a girl on bumble and went out on one date.  We fucked, it was a sober date because she had some alcohol problems.  She was sick for our second date so I made other plans.  She went berserk over it.  A few weeks and hundreds of unanswered texts later and she starts talking very aggressively in how she described our encounter. Then started asking me about female employees of mine and who they were.  Went to the sheriff the next day and got a PO.  Started carrying to work.  Ended up submitting select texts to the court docket.  Got a settlement where she admitted our relationship was consensual but she has to stay the fuck away from me.  $2500 insurance policy for the next time she's "triggered".


Sounds like an Okie part-feather, no racist but they cray.
18 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

one of the worst 'Dear Penthouse Forum' letters ever  

True.  But I came anyway. 

On 12/30/2019 at 7:37 PM, Jhawk said:

I had to get an emergency protective order against the second girl I boned here... fuckin oklahoma man.

 

Damn, I'd forgotten about that one. I needed a laugh. Thanks.

10 hours in......same as the 10 before.....

Edited by mulletpelini
no fireworks

someone going to start a new thread for 2020?  I've fucked 4 times with 2 different women.  One from last night (was amazing) for few rounds and then a random hoodrat this afternoon after brunch.  I'm fucking spent.

You have the ability to start posts, do you not? Besides, it needs to be started with a good post, because it’s gonna be full of “I ain’t fucked all year”.

ended 2019 with a big bang, started 2020 with a big bang 

god bless america 

Got a text from neighbor I banged a couole weeks ago at 2 am new years morning. Thinking theres only one reason she is contacting me, i stumble mu drunk ass over.

We start getting to business then she stops and starts running her yapper about not wanting to be a fuck buddy or some shit.

So stealing one of Amos's lines from The Expanse: "Sooo are we still fucking?"

Her: yea

Me: Cool

19 hours ago, tx 3 putt said:

ended 2019 with a big bang, started 2020 with a big bang 

god bless america 

I assume that means you watched two reruns of Big Bang Theory.

1 hour ago, Larry T. Spider said:

I assume that means you watched two reruns of Big Bang Theory.

Come on man, 4hr marathon !!!

On 1/2/2020 at 1:13 PM, MissingInAction said:

Got a text from neighbor I banged a couole weeks ago at 2 am new years morning. Thinking theres only one reason she is contacting me, i stumble mu drunk ass over.

We start getting to business then she stops and starts running her yapper about not wanting to be a fuck buddy or some shit.

So stealing one of Amos's lines from The Expanse: "Sooo are we still fucking?"

Her: yea

Me: Cool

They always say that shit until you get married to em.  Then its' just

Her:  No

2 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

They always say that shit until you get married to em.  Then its' just

Her:  No

Got the no last night.

On to the next until I die.

Chalk another one up for the good guys.

Met this woman at a steakhouse in Tulsa on thanksgiving.  She just casually gave me her number before I left the bar area to head home after gorging on some prime.  Didn't really think anything of it after texting her that it was nice to meet her later in the night.  Head to the same steakhouse Friday for a drink after work and she approaches me to say hello.  I introduce her to my business partner and think nothing of it.

Last night I'm having dinner and drinks at a steakhouse right next to my place.  Apparently she lives across the street and she ended up walking in about 10 minutes after I did.  She sat next to me and we had a couple of bottles of wine.  Then she just walked to my place with me.  My back looks like I was attacked by a cheetah.  I tore that shit up.  Then this morning she wakes me up with "my pussy is sore but I want you to cum inside me... do you have any lube?  I busted a verrrry tiny nut inside her firm ass.  Was awesome.  Also... I didn't wear a connie because I didn't need to.  She had already gone through menopause.

That's 3 in 8 days for those keeping score at home.

That's a lot of red meat.  You should probably get your cholesterol checked.

1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

Chalk another one up for the good guys.

Met this woman at a steakhouse in Tulsa on thanksgiving.  She just casually gave me her number before I left the bar area to head home after gorging on some prime.  Didn't really think anything of it after texting her that it was nice to meet her later in the night.  Head to the same steakhouse Friday for a drink after work and she approaches me to say hello.  I introduce her to my business partner and think nothing of it.

Last night I'm having dinner and drinks at a steakhouse right next to my place.  Apparently she lives across the street and she ended up walking in about 10 minutes after I did.  She sat next to me and we had a couple of bottles of wine.  Then she just walked to my place with me.  My back looks like I was attacked by a cheetah.  I tore that shit up.  Then this morning she wakes me up with "my pussy is sore but I want you to cum inside me... do you have any lube?  I busted a verrrry tiny nut inside her firm ass.  Was awesome.  Also... I didn't wear a connie because I didn't need to.  She had already gone through menopause.

That's 3 in 8 days for those keeping score at home.

did you fuck that ass in a time machine?  If not, you're in the wrong thread.

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