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Bride to be has a fart caught sideways. Must celebrate...

Featured Replies

Son got engaged around New Years.  Funeral...um...wedding will be in November.  We've been having discussions around how much money we would contribute and so-forth.  ceremonies will be on upper east coast very close to where a famous TV sanitation manager lived.

 

Wife texts me today, "(future DIL) is getting her dress on this weekend. I want to go."

 

WTF?  Since when did every gotdam thing become a cause for celebration?

 

I understand I am an antiquated, out of touch cretin, but holy fuck.  To me, these people are just this:

giphy.gif

Just think, if your son was gay you would have likely saved all this time and money....think about it.

5 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

Why would you contribute money beyond the rehearsal dinner? 

Because sticking the brides dad with the bill is the dumbest tradition ever. 

Last time I caught a fart sideways it left a mark. 

2 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Just think, if your son was gay you would have likely saved all this time and money....think about it.

No way a gay dude is saving money on pomp and circumstance.

 

2 minutes ago, Revolution512 said:

Because sticking the brides dad with the bill is the dumbest tradition ever. 

This.

 

we are on board with supporting more than just the dinner.

 

i will say when our son suggested we pop for ALL of the alcohol I had to catch my breath.

 

15-20 from our family and then over 100 Catholic Italians from Jersey.

 

Marriage booze into bankruptcy?  LOL.

7 minutes ago, Revolution512 said:

Because sticking the brides dad with the bill is the dumbest tradition ever. 

Says the guy with multiple daughters...

6 minutes ago, slorch said:

No way a gay dude is saving money on pomp and circumstance.

 

Yea but they don't ask straight dad to pay for it...

21 minutes ago, miguelito said:

I want to know more about this fart.

I want to see pics of bride's butthole.

I ain't getting thrown in the Hudson with cement shoes.

 

Plus she's a badass woman.  I like her.

 

No pics for you mofos.

I paid for all of my daughter’s wedding. Attention parents of females. You will pay for all of my son’s wedding.

 

4 hours ago, Dbeasy said:

I paid for all of my daughter’s wedding. Attention parents of females. You will pay for all of my son’s wedding.

 

boss. 

12 hours ago, slorch said:

This.

 

we are on board with supporting more than just the dinner.

 

i will say when our son suggested we pop for ALL of the alcohol I had to catch my breath.

 

15-20 from our family and then over 100 Catholic Italians from Jersey.

 

Marriage booze into bankruptcy?  LOL.

goodfellas-DXNC08.jpg

So many Petes and Pauls. And Maries.

22 hours ago, slorch said:

This.

 

we are on board with supporting more than just the dinner.

 

i will say when our son suggested we pop for ALL of the alcohol I had to catch my breath.

 

15-20 from our family and then over 100 Catholic Italians from Jersey.

 

Marriage booze into bankruptcy?  LOL.

Our rehearsal dinner booze bill was 5k. Dad protested and accused the place of padding the bill and drinking the booze themselves. Got it cut in half. 

To this day I believe the bill was correct. 

Where are you guys having rehearsal dinners and how many people are attending? $5,000??? Ours was $1,000 and we bad 35 people.

I have strongly encouraged my daughter since the age of three to believe that elopement is a moral necessity.

ib1.gif

I have strongly encouraged my daughter since the age of three to believe that elopement is a moral necessity.
ib1.gif

My dad offered to pay me and my first ex to elope.

We were given an offer to elope. I was down, wife wasn’t having it. By the time the wedding rolled around,  she regretted that decision. 

1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

We had a full open bar with over 250 people.
There was a fight at the end.

Posting video to YouTube and monetizing it could offset.

On 1/12/2019 at 4:55 PM, miguelito said:

I want to know more about this fart.

Is a sideways fart kind of like a side flying shart?

5 hours ago, gsoda3 said:

Where are you guys having rehearsal dinners and how many people are attending? $5,000??? Ours was $1,000 and we bad 35 people.

your party was lame if 35 people only spent $1,000. that's like 2 drinks per person at best. 

My daughter is an only child. I'm truly fucked. I fully expect a wedding in Santa Fe or NYC.

 

your party was lame if 35 people only spent $1,000. that's like 2 drinks per person at best. 
It was super lame. No one really drank.

Father in law offered to cut us a check for the same amount of the dream wedding his daughter wanted if we simply eloped.  She passed on the offer. 

6 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

We had a full open bar with over 250 people.

I thought you said bowl-a-rama. 

 

I was scared to death when I asked my dad to pay for the bar bill at my reception. My in laws are upper class and chose a nice joint, I was raised lower middle class. An open bar was expected and had no way to predict what it might cost for my enormous family of drinkers, my wife’s smaller but still sizeable family of drinkers, and most importantly my mid 20s degenerate friends to whom free booze was basically a lottery win. I thought to limit the wine to one mid tier white and red, which we did, and to mid tier well liquor, which we did. As expected we were all having a blast and I could tell the bar was hoping. Half drunk I told my dad I was sorry and that I’ll be able to cover some of it when I graduated and started making money. He smiled and said to have a good time and don’t worry about it. A few years later I asked about it and he admitted the bill was over 10 grand. He also filled me in that he had taken his modest retirement check and did really well investing. He covered it no problem, much to my surprise. I’m pretty fortunate and apparently will have a decent unexpected inheritance, hopefully a long long time from now.

 

Yeah, well our conversation started out about a week after the engagement, " Dad let's sit down and talk about how much everything is going to cost>"

My only text in the conversation was, " There will be no sitting down.  The amount we can afford is a fixed amount and you will work from there.  If you want more you will cover it.  There will be no open checkbook nor negotiations for more."

Keep in mind, both of them have great jobs and zero debt. If they want it over the top, it will not be sinking either set of parents.

8 hours ago, Errestaurants said:

My daughter is an only child. I'm truly fucked. I fully expect a wedding in Santa Fe or NYC.

sounds like you need slorch to coach you through this. 

i have 2 daughters (3 and 4 months sickos.  im fucked when they get married $$$$$$$$$$$$$

11 minutes ago, Bogeywon said:

i have 2 daughters (3 and 4 months sickos.  im fucked when they get married $$$$$$$$$$$$$

How did you manage to have kids a month apart in age? 

On 1/12/2019 at 5:36 PM, slorch said:

I ain't getting thrown in the Hudson with cement shoes.

 

Plus she's a badass woman.  I like her.

 

No pics for you mofos.

You answered your own question.  You like the chick, your wife apparently likes her.  Wife goes dress shopping, you drink beer all day and watch the playoff games.  Sounds good to me.

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How did you manage to have kids a month apart in age? 

see: cromartie, antonio

41 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

You answered your own question.  You like the chick, your wife apparently likes her.  Wife goes dress shopping, you drink beer all day and watch the playoff games.  Sounds good to me.

Does OP have any daughters?  If so then this seems over the top as your wife can go wedding dress shopping with your daughter(s) when that time comes.  If you only have boys then you should support her participation.

Note:  In either case your wife needs to have an honest conversation about what future daughter in law (DIL) wants as far as your wife's participation.  Your wife can have an opinion about how involved she is, but it needs to be caveated with "you tell me what you want and if/when I need to back off."  Part of this is what your son's future Mother in Law (MIL) is like and if she will get shitty about your wife being too involved.  Unless people are mature and willing to be directed in how/when they participate this situation can get messy quick.

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How did you manage to have kids a month apart in age? 

sorry 3 y/o and a now 4 month old. im a idiot ban user

On 1/12/2019 at 5:02 PM, slorch said:

15-20 from our family and then over 100 Catholic Italians from Jersey.

I went to one of those weddings.

For a non-New Jerseyan, the most interesting things were how instead of all the chicks being fried-blond, they instead had dumped ink pots in their hair for the Vampirella effect. Extra status points for doing it up in some Lucrezia Borgia interwoven brain-helmet. The middle-aged ones were showing the effects of youthful nose jobs-- nose chopped off, but nostrils kept growing.. Every one of them was angry at another one for reasons that date back to Romulus and Remus.

The bride was really vivacious. Months later the groom realized she was supposed to be on meds, but had decided to skip them for a year.

After they broke up, she went through a string of local swains, and produced some mono-browed offspring.

Congratulations!

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

Am I the only one completely confused by the thread title?

Op and Matt McConaughy thread guy in Football should hang out... 

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

How did you manage to have kids a month apart in age? 

Chick.

Side Chick.

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

Am I the only one completely confused by the thread title?

Sorry. All of the pro afletes used up the hyphens. 

On 1/12/2019 at 3:58 PM, Revolution512 said:

Because sticking the brides dad with the bill is the dumbest tradition ever. 

You must have girls.  

1 hour ago, slorch said:

Sorry. All of the pro afletes used up the hyphens. 

latest?cb=20150721153713

2 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

For a non-New Jerseyan, the most interesting things were how instead of all the chicks being fried-blond, they instead had dumped ink pots in their hair for the Vampirella effect. Extra status points for doing it up in some Lucrezia Borgia interwoven brain-helmet. The middle-aged ones were showing the effects of youthful nose jobs-- nose chopped off, but nostrils kept growing.. Every one of them was angry at another one for reasons that date back to Romulus and Remus.

This is all I could picture.

prostitution-whore.gif

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