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Featured Replies

I'll say ya.

Not if I see you first.

The women in the audience screamed.

Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him.

Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife’s tits.

But when the smell hit the crowd, that’s when Lardass’ plan really started to work.

Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends.

Kids barfed on their parents.

A fat lady barfed in her purse.

The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women’s Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes.

And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he’d created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!

lardass-07.jpg

 

Sorry.  I really, really, really love this move.

Edited by TwiceHorn

This isn't funny. What am I supposed to eat?

You could cook your dick. 

It'd be a small meal. 


Look, you guys can go around if you want to. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side relaxing with my thoughts.


You use your right hand or your left hand for that?

Why, don't you two just shut the fuck up? If either of you assholes had a $1000, I'd kill you both.

Just now, Seasick Sailor said:

Looney, looney, looney

I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!

  • Author
1 minute ago, Surly Bevo said:

I'm gonna rip your head off and shit down your neck!

you come and try it, you slimy bastard.

It was weird to me how, then, Teddy could care so much about his father, who practically tried to kill him. And I couldn't give a shit about my old man, and he hadn't laid a hand on me since I was three! And that was for eating the bleach under the sink

8 hours ago, Patrick Bateman said:

Chopper..... Sic Balls!

Yaaaaaa!  Just reading those three simple words makes me want to run away like a cartoon character while simultaneously retracting my balls.

I think Annette’s tits are getting bigger.

Who would win between Superman and Mighty Mouse?

Superman. He’s a real guy.

I’d be a good fight though.

One food m for the rest of my life? That’s easy. Pez.

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.  Jesus, does anyone?

This isn't from the movie, but it's Gordie Lachance's preface in The Body, the novella on which Stand By Me is based.  I've always thought it's one of Stephen King's better passages.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were In your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear." 

6 hours ago, South Austin said:

This isn't from the movie, but it's Gordie Lachance's preface in The Body, the novella on which Stand By Me is based.  I've always thought it's one of Stephen King's better passages.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were In your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear." 

king definitely has his moments. 

On 1/25/2019 at 5:07 PM, futureman said:

king definitely has his moments. 

The guy is wildly intelligent and I think has amazing insight on humanity.  He just chose/chooses to write in a "vulgar" genre.  I think he deserves additional credit for that.  Part of it too is that he committed to that genre at a pretty early age, making him something of a prodigy.

I have zero desire for a tattoo.  But I might actually muster some enthusiasm for one involving Lardass Hogan.

 

Maybe something like this:

standbyme.jpg

On 1/25/2019 at 10:24 AM, South Austin said:

This isn't from the movie, but it's Gordie Lachance's preface in The Body, the novella on which Stand By Me is based.  I've always thought it's one of Stephen King's better passages.

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them--words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were In your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear." 

One of my favorite quotes from any book I have ever read.  I still use it on occasion when I am trying to explain something important and personal to someone but cannot seem to find the right words.  I was about 15 when I read that quote for the first time and I have never forgotten it.

That's easy.  Cherry Pez.  Cherry flavored pez.

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