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This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement

Featured Replies

This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!"

I'm a god. I'm not THE God. 

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters.  *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get *that* day over, and over, and over...

Is your troop selling cookies again this year?

I like to say a little prayer and drink to world peace.

To world peace.

<whispers> Amen.

Ok campers, rise and shine! — and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooooold out there today.

You gotta check your mirrors. Side of your eye. Side of your eye.

It's alright, I am a jerk. 

No you're not. 

It doesn't make any difference. I've killed myself so many times, I don't even exist anymore. 

This country’s largest lake, Chapala, is located near the city of Guadalajara.

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All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona

Sweet vermouth on the rocks with a twist, pIease. 

What do you say? What do you say? You NEVER thank me!

A gust of wind.

A dog barks.

Cue the truck.

Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.

Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.

All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better.

You know people like blood sausage too. People are morons.

felix!  

-how ya doin, doris?

can I get a roll of quarters...?

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing that you did mattered?

That about sums it up for me.

Anything different is good. But this could be real good.

Come on.  All the long distance lines are down?  What about satellite?  Is it snowing in space?  Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities?  I'm both, I'm a celebrity in an emergency.  Hello?

14 minutes ago, Richard Kimball said:

Wrestlemania!

wouldn't have guessed that dude would become a pretty big movie actor.

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