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This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement

Featured Replies

#5

This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!"

#10

You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.

#12

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters.  *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get *that* day over, and over, and over...

#24

It's alright, I am a jerk. 

No you're not. 

It doesn't make any difference. I've killed myself so many times, I don't even exist anymore. 

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#27

All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona

#29

Sweet vermouth on the rocks with a twist, pIease. 

#31

A gust of wind.

A dog barks.

Cue the truck.

Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.

Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.

All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better.

#35

What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same and nothing that you did mattered?

That about sums it up for me.

#37

Come on.  All the long distance lines are down?  What about satellite?  Is it snowing in space?  Don't you keep open a line for emergencies or for celebrities?  I'm both, I'm a celebrity in an emergency.  Hello?

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