July 28, 20241 yr In the spirit of the olympics: What is the only sport more boring than Track? Field.
July 28, 20241 yr Field would be greatly improved if they would start throwing things at targets instead of just seeing how far they can throw things.
July 29, 20241 yr 14 hours ago, Tex Long said: Field would be greatly improved if they would start throwing things at targets instead of just seeing how far they can throw things. My high school team was terrible at javelin until they learned that the other team throwing first didn't mean we had to receive.
August 8, 20241 yr What do you call a woman whose husband dies? A widow What do you call a man whose wife dies? Free!
August 8, 20241 yr What do you call two apparent contradictions that may, nevertheless, be true? Paradoxes.
September 3, 20241 yr A Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German were watching a street performance. They were straining their necks at the back of the crowd trying to get a glimpse. The performer noticed so she stepped onto a platform and asked if they could see now. Their response was. Oui Si Ja
September 24, 20241 yr did you ever hear of the Roman Emperor that died before the age of 20? His name was Constant Teen. I spotted an albino dalmatian the other day. It was the least I could do.
October 6, 20241 yr Little Johnny again Little Johnny asked his dad for a new bike one day. Johnny’s Dad replied I’d like to get you a new bike but we got a 280,000 dollar mortgage on the house and your mom just lost her job and we can’t afford it. Well Little Johnny went to bed sad that night. He got up to go to the bathroom that night and walking past his parents bedroom he heard his Dad tell his Mom “ I’m pulling out and then he heard his Mom say “no wait I’m coming too.” The next morning Little Johnny’s Dad caught him going down the sidewalk pulling his wagon full of clothes. His Dad said where do you think you’re going young man to which Little Johnny replied I’m outta here I heard you and Mom talking about pulling out and her saying to hold on because she was coming too. So I figured I’ll leave before you stick me with a 280000 dollar mortgage and no bike !
November 21, 20241 yr A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says: "What a strange pet, what's his name?" "Tiny." the man replies. "What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?" "Because he's my newt."
November 26, 20241 yr A sandwich walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a coke." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
November 27, 20241 yr 45 minutes ago, hookemATL said: How do you take a sweater off a sheep? You pull the wool over its eyes. Sounds a bit aggy.
December 18, 20241 yr Guy's sitting in his cave, minding his own business. Hears noise in the bedroom. Goes to see what's up. Wife's got big suitcase on the bed, tossing clothes in it. He: What're you doing, babe? She: Packing up. He: Where you going? She: New York. He: WTF! Why? She: Facebook says prostitutes get paid $250. All they do is what I do for you, for free! He grabs his suitcase, starts throwing stuff in it. She: Where are you going? He: I'm going with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $500 a year.
December 20, 20241 yr 10 hours ago, freyguy said: This makes me sad Yeah, it's supposed to be Erik Somethingov, a high-ranking Commie knowing rain.
December 23, 20241 yr Just a few days ago, I was amazed to find myself on a flight with Bill Belichick and Jordon Hudson across the aisle. I congratulated him on his new gig at North Carolina, and we chatted about the playoffs. She excused herself to go to the restroom. I took advantage of her absence to congratulate him on his girlfriend. I said no one could believe a man his age could land such a beauty. He laughed and said "I lied to her about my age." I said "Wow, did you tell her you're 45?" He laughed harder. "Naaahhh. Told her I'm 92."
January 8Jan 8 A woman is sitting at her husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?” The woman says, “No, go right ahead.” The man stands, clears his throat and says, “Plethora” and then sits back down. The woman says, “Thanks…that means a lot.”
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