June 24Jun 24 Why do women talk so much and men think so much? Because men have two heads, and women have four lips
July 8Jul 8 What's the difference between my girlfriend and the refrigerator? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in it.
July 28Jul 28 Not sorry if already posted. Not digging back. Went to the doctor. He told me, "You have to quit masturbating." "Why do I have to quit masturbating?" "I'm not going to examine you until you quit masturbating."
July 28Jul 28 2 hours ago, Richard Kimball said: Not sorry if already posted. Not digging back. Went to the doctor. He told me, "You have to quit masturbating." "Why do I have to quit masturbating?" "I'm not going to examine you until you quit masturbating." Is it a female or male patient? Because I can make an exception for a good looking patient with XX chromosomes. Also, I may or may not be a doctor. I'm asian, so there're a 33% chance you'll guess right.
July 29Jul 29 My youngest son is looking for investors. He wants to merge Fed Ex and UPS. He's calling his new company Fed Up.
August 13Aug 13 What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
August 13Aug 13 I think you need to work on the delivery. Your punch line makes sense when read, but is harder to verbalize. I do like a good punctuation example, though. The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac literally takes things.
August 16Aug 16 Fun fact of the day: Did you know that as some chameleons get older, they can’t change colors anymore…? They develop reptile dysfunction
November 13Nov 13 I'm so excited about the Amateur Autopsy club I just joined.Wednesday is open Mike night
November 17Nov 17 A midget psychic escaped from jail. The dispatcher screamed "We have a small medium at large!"
November 21Nov 21 What’s the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years your job still sucks.
November 22Nov 22 What do a pregnant woman, a frozen beer and a burnt pizza all have in common? someone forgot to pull out
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