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22 hours ago, Spankytoes said:

 A rape still occurred, except on someone's honor and dignity.

-mark twain

1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

spacer.png

lol if this was taken to the octagon I know who my money would be on

She is blessed

I'm a little more concerned that the police have resources to set up break room cameras.

On 7/29/2019 at 7:55 AM, Rusty Shackelford said:

“He wrongly concluded that a McDonald’s restaurant employee had tampered with his food because he is a law enforcement officer.” 

being a police officer isn't an excuse for being wrong.

express check out lane question.

what if you and your wife have 20 items in a 15 item lane?  still a foul?

technically, we could split up the loot into 2 x 10 transactions but that would take longer to ring up twice.

 

1 minute ago, crash_davis said:

express check out lane question.

what if you and your wife have 20 items in a 15 item lane?  still a foul?

technically, we could split up the loot into 2 x 10 transactions but that would take longer to ring up twice.

 

Technically you'd be a couple smart asses, but I see your point. Bending the rule over a railing, but not breaking it...

my wife and i got into a serious discussion on this.  we were in line behind a couple who had able 20-25 items in a 15 item lane.  wife was pissed.  i said that they could split the 20-25 items into two transactions so technically they are fine within the limit.  she said that they should split.  i said that it would take longer.  that didn't appease her, rules are rules and shit.

23 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

my wife and i got into a serious discussion on this.  we were in line behind a couple who had able 20-25 items in a 15 item lane.  wife was pissed.  i said that they could split the 20-25 items into two transactions so technically they are fine within the limit.  she said that they should split.  i said that it would take longer.  that didn't appease her, rules are rules and shit.

Did you handle business and confront them?

Just now, immortal13 said:

Did you handle business and confront them?

nope, wife wanted me to.  i didn't see it as a foul, at least not one worth getting in drama over.

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

Are y'all gonna tell me a family of 5 can take one cart with 75 items into the express lane and it's cool because technically they could break it up into 5 transactions of 15 but they're actually doing me a favor by ringing it all up at once?

Get the fuck outta here.  This isn't Nam.

The other day I was behind this woman in the express lane when I noticed that she had about 25 items. I decided to go back where I came from...which was the next isle over. Beat her out of there by about 15 seconds. I WIN!

8 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

She sounds like a fine woman

12 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

Wife too...I'll sneak in there with 17. I'm a law breaker.

13 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

 

5 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

She sounds like a fine woman

Hell yeah she does. She's doing it right. 15 means 15. Not 16.

6 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

She sounds like a fine woman

She certainly is, and she uses a debit card instead of writing a check.

1 hour ago, TexArcher said:

Are y'all gonna tell me a family of 5 can take one cart with 75 items into the express lane and it's cool because technically they could break it up into 5 transactions of 15 but they're actually doing me a favor by ringing it all up at once?

Get the fuck outta here.  This isn't Nam.

definitely not kosher.  2 people 20 items is not an issue if it only happens every once in awhile.  but if it becomes a thing or for example 3 people with an assload of goods, then yea, i'm saying something

2 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

the greatest generation. 

2 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Mrs. Brat will not go through the 15 item express line if we have one too many in the cart.

Mrs. Brat is a fine American woman.... of course she won't, rules are there for a reason. 

3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

nope, wife wanted me to.  i didn't see it as a foul, at least not one worth getting in drama over.

Should have accused one of rape and the other of racism. 

3 hours ago, Texas_Rocks said:

The other day I was behind this woman in the express lane when I noticed that she had about 25 items. I decided to go back where I came from...which was the next isle over. Beat her out of there by about 15 seconds. I WIN!

South Padre? 

23 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Should have accused one of rape and the other of racism. 

Sounds more like a cut and dried case of white privilege.

Can we all at least agree that multiples of an item only count as one?

/ducks/

17 minutes ago, woohorn said:

Can we all at least agree that multiples of an item only count as one?

/ducks/

Getting ready to have a real honest to god hate crime here.....

9 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

spacer.png

lol if this was taken to the octagon I know who my money would be on

Is that Simon from that shitty Stallone/Snipes movie?

4 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Are y'all gonna tell me a family of 5 can take one cart with 75 items into the express lane and it's cool because technically they could break it up into 5 transactions of 15 but they're actually doing me a favor by ringing it all up at once?

Get the fuck outta here.  This isn't Nam.

Look at the math skills on this motherfucker. 

 

 

1 hour ago, woohorn said:

Can we all at least agree that multiples of an item only count as one?

/ducks/

We talking a 4 pack of steaks?

2 hands of bananas with 4 fingers?

4 cases of natty light? Brand sensitive?

All = 1?

I will take up to 5 items more than the limit into the express lane:

1) if there is no one in line and at least 1 other kiosk is open (excluding mine)

2) I don’t have beer, since H-E-B (when it’s open) requires an attendant to come type their info in to scan the beer 

3)it doesn’t happen often because I’m always getting at least a tallboy in my purchase 

1 hour ago, Trey3216 said:

3)it doesn’t happen often because I’m always getting at least a tallboy in my purchase 

#humblebrag #whatsreallyimportant

30 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

#humblebrag #whatsreallyimportant

I mean, I live 1 mile from the H-E-B.  I can hammer a tallboy before I get home and the wife whines about me buying more beer when I have some in the fridge already.  Not a humblebrag, obviously.   More of a diversion tactic.  

1 hour ago, GringoSalado said:

Express Lane: Serious motherfucking business. 

People, in any context, who behave as if the rules don't apply to them should be fined, then shot, then drawn and quartered.

And this especially includes smokers who litter the ground with stomped-on cigarette buts, or toss them out of car windows.

We need a superhero specific to this issue.

Edit:  And if you falsely accuse someone of a racist attack in this climate, you should be fined, then shot, then drawn and quartered.

 

Edited by Augustus

On 7/21/2019 at 4:34 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Who knew Flipper was gay.

Til this day, Hank Hills asshole hasn't recovered...

On 7/29/2019 at 12:09 PM, Armybrat said:

I’ll bet that cop thinks somebody fucked his wife while he was on shift.

Jimblo Fischer is a cop?  Wholly schnikey Batman, I would never have guessed.

On 7/30/2019 at 4:10 PM, crash_davis said:

express check out lane question.

what if you and your wife have 20 items in a 15 item lane?  still a foul?

technically, we could split up the loot into 2 x 10 transactions but that would take longer to ring up twice.

 

 

On 7/30/2019 at 4:14 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Technically you'd be a couple smart asses, but I see your point. Bending the rule over a railing, but not breaking it...

 

On 7/30/2019 at 4:26 PM, crash_davis said:

my wife and i got into a serious discussion on this.  we were in line behind a couple who had able 20-25 items in a 15 item lane.  wife was pissed.  i said that they could split the 20-25 items into two transactions so technically they are fine within the limit.  she said that they should split.  i said that it would take longer.  that didn't appease her, rules are rules and shit.

 

On 7/30/2019 at 4:49 PM, immortal13 said:

Did you handle business and confront them?

On the spot execution is the only answer, and bill surviving family for the cleanup.

8 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

 

 

 

On the spot execution is the only answer, and bill surviving family for the cleanup.

And they should have to pay for your express lane purchases.  Civil penalties for your pain, and suffering of rude assholes.

Edited by Onboard 2.0

3 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

And they should have to pay for your express lane purchases.  Civil renumeration for your pain, and suffering of rude assholes.

Your jib cut... awesome.


People, in any context, who behave as if the rules don't apply to them should be fined, then shot, then drawn and quartered.



The person who posted this cheers for the Texas A&M football program. Led by a coach who literally brought his bag lady with him.

On a serious (sort of?), Mrs Shooter and I went to the glorious retailer known as Walmart together a couple of months back. We picked up a few items and went to the express lane to check out.  I was pretty distracted by some work things I had on my mind, when I was suddenly brought back to the here and now.  The woman in front of me was rather frantically exclaiming "sir I'm sorry, but I've only got 20 items".  WTH? I stammered something like it's cool, no problem or something to that effect.  Apparently while I was in the daze thinking about work, I was just staring in her direction which she took as a scowl of sorts.  When we left I asked the Mrs, do I look like that big of an asshole?  She replied "yes, but it would help if you took off your sunglasses so people could see your eyes".

FML...

1 minute ago, SHOOTER12 said:

On a serious (sort of?), Mrs Shooter and I went to the glorious retailer known as Walmart together a couple of months back. We picked up a few items and went to the express lane to check out.  I was pretty distracted by some work things I had on my mind, when I was suddenly brought back to the here and now.  The woman in front of me was rather frantically exclaiming "sir I'm sorry, but I've only got 20 items".  WTH? I stammered something like it's cool, no problem or something to that effect.  Apparently while I was in the daze thinking about work, I was just staring in her direction which she took as a scowl of sorts.  When we left I asked the Mrs, do I look like that big of an asshole?  She replied "yes, but it would help if you took off your sunglasses so people could see your eyes".

FML...

you may have resting bitch face.

resting-bitch-face_650x400_41454565404.j

19 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

you may have resting bitch face.

resting-bitch-face_650x400_41454565404.j

Hot damn, "Wyatt I am rolling".

57 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

On a serious (sort of?), Mrs Shooter and I went to the glorious retailer known as Walmart together a couple of months back. We picked up a few items and went to the express lane to check out.  I was pretty distracted by some work things I had on my mind, when I was suddenly brought back to the here and now.  The woman in front of me was rather frantically exclaiming "sir I'm sorry, but I've only got 20 items".  WTH? I stammered something like it's cool, no problem or something to that effect.  Apparently while I was in the daze thinking about work, I was just staring in her direction which she took as a scowl of sorts.  When we left I asked the Mrs, do I look like that big of an asshole?  She replied "yes, but it would help if you took off your sunglasses so people could see your eyes".

FML...

who-wears-sunglasses-inside-funny-gif.gi

1 minute ago, futureman said:

who-wears-sunglasses-inside-funny-gif.gi

Dayum....so not only did I look like an asshole...I am one?  Crap, look what the Surl has done to me, now I'm like everyone else here...

1 minute ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Dayum....so not only did I look like an asshole...I am one?  Crap, look what the Surl has done to me, now I'm like everyone else here...

unless you’re blind, I guess. 

1 minute ago, futureman said:

unless you’re blind, I guess. 

What about blind assholes  ?  Always swinging those white canes everywhere willy nilly.

8 minutes ago, futureman said:

unless you’re blind, I guess. 

Welp, I guess I am an official asshole then.

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