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I'm one of those people who sets my bedside clock ahead 15 minutes.  I have for as long as I can remember.  I don't need an alarm clock so long as I'm waking up at 7:00.  This working I woke up 6:48 and I was in one of those lazy, dreamy states, but there's not a lot you can do with 12 minutes, so I was unhappy.  But with 27 minutes, I went back to sleep and it was nice.

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  • Cheeseweasel
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  • I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

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    i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

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40 minutes ago, Hanrahan said:

I'm one of those people who sets my bedside clock ahead 15 minutes.

I bet that really annoys this shit out of your husband.

I used to serve tables at a local shithole during high school, and cute girls would sometimes leave their phone numbers folded up with the tip.

I never followed up on a single one because I lacked any initiative, and I would often leave their numbers in the pocket of my pants.

 

 

5 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

I check my phone like 30 times when I'm jacking off.

Face timing Sublminahorn?

21 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I take baths

10d620cfde9b9b0d0b2f0ff04564b7e8.jpg

15 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

I check my phone like 30 times when I'm jacking off.

Once per stroke? You may need to see a specialist. 

I weigh myself before and after I take a dump. I try to guess how much the turd weighs while I’m on the shitter.

I dont like worms.  Ill fish with other bait, or ill just buy the motherfucker from a supermarket.

I used to serve tables at a local shithole during high school, and cute girls would sometimes leave their phone numbers folded up with the tip.
I never followed up on a single one because I lacked any initiative, and I would often leave their numbers in the pocket of my pants.
 
 


You shouldn’t be embarrassed to be gay.
1 hour ago, Hanrahan said:

I'm one of those people who sets my bedside clock ahead 15 minutes.  I have for as long as I can remember.  I don't need an alarm clock so long as I'm waking up at 7:00.  This working I woke up 6:48 and I was in one of those lazy, dreamy states, but there's not a lot you can do with 12 minutes, so I was unhappy.  But with 27 minutes, I went back to sleep and it was nice.

I do that shit too.  Slow ass wife.

I drive a GM car.

I like chick flicks.
I like the Lifetime movies, with hot bimbos. Won't watch with the wife though, cause she runs the images.
4 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:
22 minutes ago, El Moco said:
I like chick flicks.

I like the Lifetime movies, with hot bimbos. Won't watch with the wife though, cause she runs the images.

My wife likes seeing the Hallmark movies with me.  Checking out Lacey Chabert is pretty cool.

The commercials about the kids that triumphed over their disabilities to become Special Olympics athletes makes me cry.

Every. Damn. Time.

 

Edited by Nuge

The commercials about the kids that triumphed over their disabilities to become Special Olympics athletes makes me cry.
Every. Damn. Time.
 
It would be more embarrassing if you laughed.

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

I easily tear up in sad situations, especially during movies.  Even my wife makes fun of me.

7 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

I freaking love maps.

5 minutes ago, GhostRider said:

I easily tear up in sad situations, especially during movies.

Guilty.

Edited by Art Vandelay

My wife likes seeing the Hallmark movies with me.  Checking out Lacey Chabert is pretty cool.

The Murder She Baked series is good. I remember crazy ass Sami from Days of Our Lives. 

 

And Kudos to your wife for letting you enjoy it. Mine won't shut up, the whole movie.

 

 

1 hour ago, twosheds said:

I weigh myself before and after I take a dump. I try to guess how much the turd weighs while I’m on the shitter.

Ha, I did this yesterday.  14oz.

5 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

The Murder She Baked series is good. I remember crazy ass Sami from Days of Our Lives. 

 

And Kudos to your wife for letting you enjoy it. Mine won't shut up, the whole movie.

 

 

I try and watch Hallmark movies during Christmas and my wife won't let me.

1 hour ago, Kel Varnsen said:

I take baths

Guilty.

I also like cats.  I like dogs better, but I also like cats.

1 minute ago, Jimbaround said:

I try and watch Hallmark movies during Christmas and my wife won't let me.

Have you tried watching them with your pants on?

My wife normally avoids them, but if she gets the hint of a cold - fucking Hallmark/Drew Barrymore/Hugh Grant until the fever breaks.

40 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

Is it possible to get lost in Iowa?

38 minutes ago, Jimbaround said:

Ha, I did this yesterday.  14oz.

You mean .35 Curics

1 hour ago, Kel Varnsen said:

just sayin that seems more like regret than embarassment

No, embarrassed is not being socially competent enough to follow through as a teen. 

Regret is still having my forearm stink like your mom days after I've fisted her. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Mikegundy'sMullet

  • Popular Post

I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so I could poop like a gentleman.

Just now, nycHorn said:

I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so I could poop like a gentleman.

You're my spirit animal with regards to dynamic shitting.

12 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

That's 90% of us.

I only have one nut

Are you pretty fast on a bicycle?

15 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I only have one nut

I know all about an ex taking half your shit, but gotdamn man!

6 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

Are you pretty fast on a bicycle?

Also, did he bang fitlump?

1 hour ago, GhostRider said:

I easily tear up in sad situations, especially during movies.  Even my wife makes fun of me.

A good rendition of the National Anthem - every single time.  The Wife will come in from other rooms to look at me, not the TV.

Pretty much turn into a blubbering cunt during sad movies or stories on ESPN/E60. 

Don't know shit about cars/guns/tools/bbq-ing, pretty much a lot of "manly" shit I feel I should know about. 

Edited by Underdog

1 hour ago, Art Vandelay said:

I freaking love maps.

Guilty.

In on both.

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