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In the past few years, it has become more common for my ball sack to touch the water in the toilet when I'm taking a shit.  I may have developed oldmansaggyball syndrome.


Stop pissing in the pool.
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19 hours ago, DougO said:

I damn near walked out of the house today wearing two completely different non-matching shoes on. Happened to look down at the last minute.

I did this about a month ago. No idea wtf I was thinking

You were trying leave quietly not wanting to wake her up. 

Not embarrassed to admit that blocking him makes this place better.
With this new board, if you block someone, are their posts people quote of theirs also blocked? If not, it's pointless with an attention seeker like Derka.
42 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:
3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:
Not embarrassed to admit that blocking him makes this place better.

With this new board, if you block someone, are their posts people quote of theirs also blocked? If not, it's pointless with an attention seeker like Derka.

No.

11 hours ago, 'stache said:


I made it all the way to the office one time with two different (but similar) shoes. I noticed as I walked into the lobby and turned right around to avoid embarrassment.

tumblr_m9eblrrnw71qk6klxo1_1280.jpg

 

97b726d86966115b6ae7306ebb0a5185.jpg

On 9/1/2018 at 9:26 AM, Neonmoon said:

I think the Texas Fight thread on the football board is incredibly dorky. 

100% agree. Won't say it in that thread as its not the place but glad it was said in here. 

I really enjoyed Miss Congeniality, The Proposal, and Bridesmaids. 

Man card revoked.

I re-watched the Maryland game on LHN twice this week.  After watching, I convinced myself that we weren't as bad as I really thought and that despite a slow start, we would still be a decent to good football team this year.  Then I watched the Tulsa game and have been brought back to reality.  

On 9/9/2018 at 12:02 AM, PhillyD said:

I re-watched the Maryland game on LHN twice this week.  After watching, I convinced myself that we weren't as bad as I really thought and that despite a slow start, we would still be a decent to good football team this year.  Then I watched the Tulsa game and have been brought back to reality.  

Maybe try watching it a few more times.

On 9/6/2018 at 8:40 AM, Sbbruin said:

In the past few years, it has become more common for my ball sack to touch the water in the toilet when I'm taking a shit.  I may have developed oldmansaggyball syndrome.

For reference, at what age does this begin?

 

Asking for a friend of course.

I’d really like to tell my teenage son how I spent 9/11, but getting dismissed from class and then going home to alternate between watching CNN and fucking his mother the rest of the day doesn’t seem like a good story.

On 9/6/2018 at 10:59 AM, DCLonghorn said:

I sit when I pee when at home...rather not have the clean up.

I canceled the LHN to save a buck.

 

I take it you don't have a backyard?

On 9/11/2018 at 12:54 PM, Apep said:

I’d really like to tell my teenage son how I spent 9/11, but getting dismissed from class and then going home to alternate between watching CNN and fucking his mother the rest of the day doesn’t seem like a good story.

on the contrary, kinda sounds like he wouldn't be here if you hadn't.

On 9/9/2018 at 12:02 AM, PhillyD said:

I re-watched the Maryland game on LHN twice this week.  After watching, I convinced myself that we weren't as bad as I really thought and that despite a slow start, we would still be a decent to good football team this year.  Then I watched the Tulsa game and have been brought back to reality.  

 

On 9/10/2018 at 8:23 PM, dingleberryswitzer said:

Maybe try watching it a few more times.

On acid...

7 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I have purchased flex-seal products

Do you own half of a boat?

I enjoy several Toby Keith songs, mostly the older ones from the 90s. 

On 9/6/2018 at 10:40 AM, Sbbruin said:

In the past few years, it has become more common for my ball sack to touch the water in the toilet when I'm taking a shit.  I may have developed oldmansaggyball syndrome.

 

I’d really like to tell my teenage son how I spent 9/11, but getting dismissed from class and then going home to alternate between watching CNN and fucking his mother the rest of the day doesn’t seem like a good story.
When I was in 2nd grade we had to do a timeline of our lives. My mom was busy helping my sister so my dad helped out. I drew a line, then I wrote my birthday on the left. My dad told me to erase it, and then gave me a date in April of the previous year and told to put "conceived." So I did.

My mom was mortified.

A couple of weeks ago my mom asked me to stop by the new Burger King and pick her up a cheeseburger and fries. I pulled up and went inside (not particularly fond of drive-thru) and ordered a cheesburger, fries and tea. Lady looks at me really funny and replies, "you want a cheeseburger, fries and tea? I can't get you a cheeseburger fries and tea." I look up at the menu. I'm at the new fucking Taco Bell, next door the the new Burger King.

Fuck, they all look alike nowdays, and I never go to either one.

I'd have gotten a nacho supreme to snack on for my trip over to BK.  

I'd have gotten a nacho supreme to snack on for my trip over to BK.  

Pro move, right there.
I'd have gotten a nacho supreme to snack on for my trip over to BK.  


I knew there were geniuses on the surly.
  • 3 weeks later...

Prettttty sure that my 13 year old daughter just walked in on my punching the clown... Don't know for certain, but I heard retreating footsteps.

Prettttty sure that my 13 year old daughter just walked in on my punching the clown... Don't know for certain, but I heard retreating footsteps.

Hahahahahahahaha

Get her in therapy now because some future college guys are gonna really love the daddy issues you may have just created.
On ‎9‎/‎9‎/‎2018 at 2:02 PM, PhillyD said:

I re-watched the Maryland game on LHN twice this week.  After watching, I convinced myself that we weren't as bad as I really thought and that despite a slow start, we would still be a decent to good football team this year.  Then I watched the Tulsa game and have been brought back to reality.  

Trust your instincts.

24 minutes ago, Jersey Man10 said:

I wore womens underwear once.

On your head?  Just tried to decide if I need to be emabarrassed or not 

3 hours ago, davidg said:

On your head?  Just tried to decide if I need to be emabarrassed or not 

 

17 minutes ago, Jkwellborn said:


No one is surprised by that.

They were crotchless.

15 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Prettttty sure that my 13 year old daughter just walked in on my punching the clown... Don't know for certain, but I heard retreating footsteps.

EachRemarkableCollardlizard-size_restric

16 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Prettttty sure that my 13 year old daughter just walked in on my punching the clown... Don't know for certain, but I heard retreating footsteps.

de5d34cd-4237-456d-a231-a529376befdd_scr

16 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Prettttty sure that my 13 year old daughter just walked in on my punching the clown... Don't know for certain, but I heard retreating footsteps.

So....

Did you finish?

On 9/11/2018 at 2:54 PM, Apep said:

I’d really like to tell my teenage son how I spent 9/11, but getting dismissed from class and then going home to alternate between watching CNN and fucking his mother the rest of the day doesn’t seem like a good story.

Dad... is that you??

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