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  • Cheeseweasel
    Cheeseweasel

  • I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

  • Jack Straw
    Jack Straw

    i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

Posted Images

3 minutes ago, Ifiwaspresident said:

I like the Taylor Swift song “Bad Blood”

That's embarrassing? I wear that with pride. Taylor has some great songs.

I am often mistaken for Brad Pitt's better-looking brother.

1 hour ago, GhostRider said:

I easily tear up in sad situations, especially during movies.  Even my wife makes fun of me.

ive cried from a movie once, and it was The Bodyguard.

 

dont even know why

I watch Ru Paul's Drag Race with my fiancee.  Whatever.

When I go to take a shit I wait until the last possible minute each time.  When walking into the bathroom I do a nice pirouette, spinning while simultaneously pulling down my pants to sit my ass on the toilet.  9 times out of 10 this results in me farting right in front of the toilet seat before sitting down.  Thus my face is positioned perfectly in my own fart cloud as I take a shit that usually only lasts about 3-5 minutes.  I like to think of the fart as an appetizer to my mondo dook.

1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

I scored perfect on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills mapping section back in like 3rd grade.  I fucking love maps.

23 minutes ago, Ifiwaspresident said:

I like the Taylor Swift song “Bad Blood”

I like Lorde's whole catalog 

Quote

Taylor has some great songs.

 

You misspelled legs.

Edited by Whitman

I pick my nose a ton, at least when no one's looking. 

I have been know to read/post in the CR.

 

However, my goal at Surly is to avoid if at all possible.

4 minutes ago, Grandioso said:

I pick my nose a ton, at least when no one's looking. 

10 bucks says you eat it.

1 minute ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I have been know to read/post in the CR.

 

However, my goal at Surly is to avoid if at all possible.

I encourage this life choice.

I have what can best be described as a horse dick. It's very difficult for me to have sex because the girls are constantly orgasming so hard that they're always flailing around. Please pray for me.

 

my dick is so tiny

Which one of you cried in a sports bar?

3 minutes ago, Roofle said:

I have what can best be described as a horse dick. It's very difficult for me to have sex because the girls are constantly orgasming so hard that they're always flailing around. Please pray for me.

 

my dick is so tiny

56676641.jpg

I like reading maps for fun.
Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.


Google Earth has been like crack for me for many many years.

And I never get lost!

I can't watch that Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty commercial without tearing up.  Every damn time.....

"sniff, sniff'

1 hour ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

I like pooping in handicap stalls so I can ride side saddle.  

Opened up a whole new world of pooping to me.

DSC00425.JPG

42 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

When I go to take a shit I wait until the last possible minute each time.  When walking into the bathroom I do a nice pirouette, spinning while simultaneously pulling down my pants to sit my ass on the toilet.  9 times out of 10 this results in me farting right in front of the toilet seat before sitting down.  Thus my face is positioned perfectly in my own fart cloud as I take a shit that usually only lasts about 3-5 minutes.  I like to think of the fart as an appetizer to my mondo dook.

This is known in my home as The #2 Prelude by Franz Shitbert.  And am I weird, or does 3-5 minutes to take a shit seem awfully long?  You make it seem like that's a world-record setting pace.  Goddamn get in do your bidness and GTFO.

Xanadu by Olivia Newton John is one of my favorite songs ever.

3 hours ago, PilotsError said:

I check my phone like 30 times when I'm jacking off.

Tracking Device on the wife’s phone, eh?

3 hours ago, twosheds said:

I weigh myself before and after I take a dump. I try to guess how much the turd weighs while I’m on the shitter.

Personal best was just over 2 pounds, I was very proud

5 minutes ago, Kringelbert Fishtybuns said:

Does your Mother know?  

She's been dead for 10 years, my secret is safe.

3 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

Yep. I browse random cities on Google Maps all the time.

2 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Guilty.

I also like cats.  I like dogs better, but I also like cats.

Cats are cool.....

I’m weirded out by people who think cats are reincarnations of the devil.

53 minutes ago, Hate said:

 


Google Earth has been like crack for me for many many years.

And I never get lost!

 

It's amazing.  Anytime I travel with friends, they're shocked with how much I know about a place I've never been.

Unlike the rest of the surl, I don't only bang 10s. 

 

Excluding Vic, of course...unless you count -10s.

Edited by UT Lawnghorn

2 hours ago, CfRhTxStBobcats said:

Is it possible to get lost in Iowa?

It seems impossible, but people do it.

3 hours ago, Hate said:

 


Google Earth has been like crack for me for many many years.

And I never get lost!

Y'all are amateurs.  Here is just a portion of my map.  I scour and scrape the internet for locations to photograph.  Mostly abandoned places, but also places for landscapes and animals.  I recently added many of the TM Top 50 BBQ spots so that I can couple them with my photo trips.  Many of these locations come from hours of searching Google maps and street view.

Ag6gtu7.png

Edited by Patricio Swayze

11 minutes ago, Don Keibals said:

I suck my own dick

Now you're just bragging.

1 hour ago, butthurt said:

Xanadu by Olivia Newton John is one of my favorite songs ever.

Xanadu by Rush is one of my favorite songs ever. Not sure that fits in this thread, though.

I shit my pants at work once.

39 minutes ago, Don Keibals said:

I suck my own dick

That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Now if you swallow too, that’s a different story. 

I just sharted.

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

 

I only have one nut

The Unaballer.

11 minutes ago, twosheds said:

That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Now if you swallow too, that’s a different story. 

:$

I’ve come to accept this as part of getting old as I’ll be 50 in August but, I regularly fart when I sneeze.  I can’t stop it, it just happens.  Luckily, when it does happen I have a very forceful sneeze and nobody will hear me fart...unless it smells.  I work in an office that is 97% female and some of my co-workers that know me pretty well have taken to asking me every time I sneeze did it have blow back?

4 hours ago, chesthair said:

The Sound of Music is one of my favorite movies.  

My daughter just played Gretyl in our school's production.  Got me right in the feels, terribly.

2 minutes ago, El Moco said:

I’ve come to accept this as part of getting old as I’ll be 50 in August but, I regularly fart when I sneeze.  I can’t stop it, it just happens.  Luckily, when it does happen I have a very forceful sneeze and nobody will hear me fart...unless it smells.  I work in an office that is 97% female and some of my co-workers that know me pretty well have taken to asking me every time I sneeze did it have blow back?

It gets better. after 50 you'll also shart when you sneeze.

Edited by Don Keibals

1 hour ago, former alkie said:

Cats are cool.....

I’m weirded out by people who think cats are reincarnations of the devil.

Pretty certain one of the cats we adopted a few weeks ago is, in fact, the Devil.  Little bastard's turning my arm and hands into hamburger meat. 

1 hour ago, Don Keibals said:

I suck my own dick

PM sent

5 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I like reading maps for fun.

Laugh all you want, but I almost never get lost.

Guilty as charged. I like to go on Google Earth, set the zoom to the entire earth, and see if I can use the mouse scroll wheel to zoom in to major sites around the world in a single continuous motion. Like the pyramids, Eiffel Tower, Christ the Redeemer, etc. Good wholesome fun.

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