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2 hours ago, PilotsError said:

Before I tighten or loosen something I still have to say 'Lefty loosey Righty tighty' in my head.

i make like i'm unscrewing a jar.  actually do the hand motion.  then remember to reverse it when you're trying to get to a bolt on the back side of something. 

fuck changing a tire on the side of a major highway though. 

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Before I tighten or loosen something I still have to say 'Lefty loosey Righty tighty' in my head.
I work on cars constantly and I still stop and have to think about it.

Once had a co-op engineering student who, to put it politely, was not well suited for his chosen degree plan. Kid was not ept, at all. After he'd done his time at the company we had a little going away party and as a parting gift the guys in the machine shop  gave him a pair of Vise-Grips in a box with a glass lid with "Break In Case of Emergency" on the front of the glass and had an engraved tag in the box with "Lefty-Loosey, Righty-Tighty".

6 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

What happened to your other shoulder?

Goddammit.  This one got me.  Coffee on the keyboard.

I work on cars constantly and I still stop and have to think about it.

If I’m using a ratchet, I’ll check it. Other than that though, I’m good to go.
Cars for sure. I am pretty worthless outside of oil changes and light bulb type maintenance. Damn shame also because my dad and uncle were mechanics but it just never interested me. My little brother is the car guy
Just call Apollo Towing. They'll help you out.
Before I tighten or loosen something I still have to say 'Lefty loosey Righty tighty' in my head.
Same.
30 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:
5 hours ago, Zepol87 said:
Cars for sure. I am pretty worthless outside of oil changes and light bulb type maintenance. Damn shame also because my dad and uncle were mechanics but it just never interested me. My little brother is the car guy

Just call Apollo Towing. They'll help you out.

lol damn

7 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

What happened to your other shoulder?

Dammit, and here I am out of rep, somebody rep this man...

6 hours ago, Llogg said:

pneumonic?

pneumatic?  Like putting air in the tires?

4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Yeah, I never understood that one. How the fuck is clockwise right? If I'm holding the wrench at 3 O'clock, my hand is going left if I'm turning clockwise. 

That's why you leave the deep psychology of mechanics to others.

7 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

That's why you leave the deep psychology of mechanics to others.

Yeah. Fuck my engineering degree!

Neither of my boys ever mowed an inch of our yards.  They can however, do basic maintenance on small engines such as oil change, spark plug check/ replacement, sharpen the blade, get the right gas/ etc.

I have just always liked mowing the grass...weird as fuck that with all the bullshit jobs I made them do that I never got pissed in the summertime and made them mow.

I demonstrated changing the oil and changing tires on multiple vehicles.  The oldest one could do it if he wanted to bad enough now.  The younger one would have no shot in hell.  His GF had a low tire and I changed it for her.  The whole time I'm changing it I'm just asking myself if he's gonna get a BJ for his pops changing her tire.  LOlz. Driving the bus to hell on that one...


If I’m using a ratchet, I’ll check it. Other than that though, I’m good to go.

I had it handed down to me by both grand fathers and great grandfathers as well as dad... so what do my boys know?
a2c67fa5cea8535524fc8e6d057ccc4b.jpg
13 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Yeah, I never understood that one. How the fuck is clockwise right? If I'm holding the wrench at 3 O'clock, my hand is going left if I'm turning clockwise. 

Supination stronger and wider range of motion than pronation. Supinate with right hand : tighten :: supinate with left hand : loosen.

8 hours ago, Llogg said:

Supination stronger and wider range of motion than pronation. Supinate with right hand : tighten :: supinate with left hand : loosen.

Sorry. I'm going to need a pneumatic to remember all that.

8 hours ago, Llogg said:

Supination stronger and wider range of motion than pronation. Supinate with right hand : tighten :: supinate with left hand : loosen.

The fuck kind of language is this?

I’m not handy at all. Like, at all. I can’t fix anything. I’m also not proficient at changing tires. I mean, I’ve watched my buddy change mine before and I’m sure with google I could do it, but I’m not all confident I could if my tire were to blow out on the interstate


Ask your boyfriend if he can teach you.*

*Yes, I’m aware.
1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Sorry. I'm going to need a pneumatic to remember all that.

 

 

Update: There was a kid wearing a hoodie that had HUSTLER across the front. My son looked like the goddam DA compared to most of the people there.

40 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Update: There was a kid wearing a hoodie that had HUSTLER across the front. My son looked like the goddam DA compared to most of the people there.

He's a hustler, baby.

He just wants you to know.

I had to change my tire on the Tundra a month or so ago. Had to break out the truck’s manual to see how to drop the tire from under the bed and where exactly to set the jack. Outside of that, it was easy. That said, I was changing it in front of my house on the street, so the danger level was low.

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Sorry. I'm going to need a pneumatic to remember all that.

Just remember, envision your wrench/ratchet or whatever in the 12 'oclock position.  From there right is tight, left is loose.

23 hours ago, DFWTexEx said:

I'm with you. I used to be able to change tires like a champ.  No problem at all.  But slowly, the jacks changed and suddenly I have no idea how to make it work.   And my current car, that i have had since 2011, has no spare anyway, so it's no longer an issue except that I can't help friends or people in distress like I used to.

Pro tip, if you get a flat, don't bother with their repair kit and installation, just call a damn tow truck because that is the end result no matter what.  It never works and you will be on your back in a suit in 100 degrees wasting an hour for the damn thing not to work (twice).  Rage and fuck you Porsche.

On 1/29/2019 at 8:39 AM, PilotsError said:

Before I tighten or loosen something I still have to say 'Lefty loosey Righty tighty' in my head.

still sing the alphabet song in my head when filing 

Edited by ChickenSandwich

On 1/29/2019 at 8:39 AM, PilotsError said:

Before I tighten or loosen something I still have to say 'Lefty loosey Righty tighty' in my head.

That’s what your grandma tells me.

Change a tire? Call AAA.

Times change. I used to rotate my tires, change oil, change spark plugs, adjust points - install water pumps, fuel filters, head lamps, starter motors, ignition switches, reline the drum brakes, and the like. 

Bought Mrs. Brat a new Honda over two years ago and have never opened the hood.

49 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Just remember, envision your wrench/ratchet or whatever in the 12 'oclock position.  From there right is tight, left is loose.

I described it more or less that way to a (ahem!) not-so-handy neighbor recently, and he got very flustered. he pushed the handle to the left, and it wouldn't loosen.

I have to admit, I'd never thought of it from that point of view. Not to further confuse anybody who's having a hard time remembering this, of course, but depending on which end of the wrench you're talking about, it could very well be left-to-tighten, right-to-loosen.

6 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I described it more or less that way to a (ahem!) not-so-handy neighbor recently, and he got very flustered. he pushed the handle to the left, and it wouldn't loosen.

I have to admit, I'd never thought of it from that point of view. Not to further confuse anybody who's having a hard time remembering this, of course, but depending on which end of the wrench you're talking about, it could very well be left-to-tighten, right-to-loosen.

That's why my explanation is the most fool proof. Supinate with your right to tighten. Supinate with your left to loosen.

17 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I described it more or less that way to a (ahem!) not-so-handy neighbor recently, and he got very flustered. he pushed the handle to the left, and it wouldn't loosen.

I have to admit, I'd never thought of it from that point of view. Not to further confuse anybody who's having a hard time remembering this, of course, but depending on which end of the wrench you're talking about, it could very well be left-to-tighten, right-to-loosen.

True, and for the love of god I hope no one brings up left handed threads, lulz

10 minutes ago, Llogg said:

That's why my explanation is the most fool proof. Supinate with your right to tighten. Supinate with your left to loosen.

Every time I've supinated in the past I've had an orgasm.  Dirty stuff that supinating.

Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a greatcapper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.

Is it a clockwise swirl?

I prefer clockwise, but it's not written in stone.

In high school I used to ride around on maypop tires. Or maybe tires were just shit then. Buddy of mine and I got really good at tire changing, we were like a Nascar pit crew with the routine. We were out in the country cruising around and I felt the telltale symptoms of a flat tire coming on. There was a house there where I pulled over with a couple of kids tossing the football back and forth and I swear in the time it took for the one to throw to the other we had the tire changed, ball was still in midflight. /csb

What kind of fucking grown man can't change a tire? My 7 year old son knows how to change a tire. Give your balls a tug, boys. Make sure they're still there. 

Change a tire? Call AAA.
Times change. I used to rotate my tires, change oil, change spark plugs, adjust points - install water pumps, fuel filters, head lamps, starter motors, ignition switches, reline the drum brakes, and the like. 
Bought Mrs. Brat a new Honda over two years ago and have never opened the hood.


Maybe she’s got a motor in the back of her Honda? Does she play workout tapes by Fonda? Have you checked your anaconda?
3 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Change a tire? Call AAA.

Times change. I used to rotate my tires, change oil, change spark plugs, adjust points - install water pumps, fuel filters, head lamps, starter motors, ignition switches, reline the drum brakes, and the like. 

Bought Mrs. Brat a new Honda over two years ago and have never opened the hood.

I used to do a chunk of those chores on my cars over the years except starter motor and drum brakes.  Was talking with a business colleague and he and his son were working on the kids car one weekend and asked me to join.  I wanted to get under a hood again since it’s been so long. But I said, “no, that’s the kind of thing you should do with your buddies, not your dads old friends. “.  But he did he asked a bunch of guys (teenagers) and they all declined.  Said it sounded lame.  

I remember going over to my friends house  when he was restoring a 20 year old trans am to help him work on it in exchange for getting rides from him.  Thought it was cool as hell, no kids wouldn’t be caught dead working on a car.  Shit, driving a car is barely cool anymore 

Not changing the oil, I get. Modern engines are so crammed full of stuff that just finding the damned filter is an adventure, and the odds are overwhelming (especially with Honda, Toyota, etc.) that if you're any kind of man at all, you're arm is too big to reach it anyway. Leave it to the grease monkeys at the 10 minute change joints.

But changing a tire? I taught my teenage daughter to change a damned tire. It's not even a man-card thing. Just don't leave the house at that point.

Edited by Walden Ponderer
Do you English, amigo?

Now, the ending is kind of an option. I use the swirl. I like the swirl. I'm comfortable with the swirl. I feel the swirl is a greatcapper. He uses the pinch, which I find a little presumptuous.

Is it a clockwise swirl?

I prefer clockwise, but it's not written in stone.

You’re using the swirl? That’s my move!
28 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:
34 minutes ago, ernest_t_bass said:
Kids are fucking pussies.

Literally?

200.gif

53 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Not changing the oil, I get. Modern engines are so crammed full of stuff that just finding the damned filter is an adventure, and the odds are overwhelming (especially with Honda, Toyota, etc.) that if you're any kind of man at all, you're arm is too big to reach it anyway. Leave it to the grease monkeys at the 10 minute change joints.

But changing a tire? I taught my teenage daughter to change a damned tire. It's not even a man-card thing. Just don't leave the house at that point.

I spent an entire spring break my junior year of high school (1999) putting a new 350 in my buddy's 1985 Chevy Blazer. We had a blast. 

 

6 hours ago, Js1 said:

He's a hustler hustla, baby.

He just wants you to know.

 

fixy

 

4 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

True, and for the love of god I hope no one brings up left handed threads, lulz

 

One bike pedal attaches to the crank arm with a right had thread, the other with a left hand thread. I work on bikes a fair amount, and I have no idea which is which. I just torque one direction, if it doesn't loosen, I torque the other way harder, repeat until eventually it loosens.

 

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Not changing the oil, I get. Modern engines are so crammed full of stuff that just finding the damned filter is an adventure, and the odds are overwhelming (especially with Honda, Toyota, etc.) that if you're any kind of man at all, you're arm is too big to reach it anyway. Leave it to the grease monkeys at the 10 minute change joints.

But changing a tire? I taught my teenage daughter to change a damned tire. It's not even a man-card thing. Just don't leave the house at that point.

 

My wife and I's subaru (no lesbian) has the oil filter sitting right on top of the engine when you open the hood. I don't even need a filter wrench to take it off.

maxresdefault.jpg

Man, what I wouldn't have given for that to be the case back when I was 18 years old and changing oil to pay for school. I spent my freshman year with burns from wrist to shoulder from digging around for those damned things.

 
 
My wife and I's subaru (no lesbian) has the oil filter sitting right on top of the engine when you open the hood. I don't even need a filter wrench to take it off.
maxresdefault.jpg

Nice design. Always appreciate engineers who design engines to have oil poured on them.
Man, what I wouldn't have given for that to be the case back when I was 18 years old and changing oil to pay for school. I spent my freshman year with burns from wrist to shoulder from digging around for those damned things.

No love for long sleeves?
I used to do a chunk of those chores on my cars over the years except starter motor and drum brakes.  Was talking with a business colleague and he and his son were working on the kids car one weekend and asked me to join.  I wanted to get under a hood again since it’s been so long. But I said, “no, that’s the kind of thing you should do with your buddies, not your dads old friends. “.  But he did he asked a bunch of guys (teenagers) and they all declined.  Said it sounded lame.  
I remember going over to my friends house  when he was restoring a 20 year old trans am to help him work on it in exchange for getting rides from him.  Thought it was cool as hell, no kids wouldn’t be caught dead working on a car.  Shit, driving a car is barely cool anymore 

Not true, I have practically a used car lot and pit crew in my driveway/garage any given day. My youngest and his crew rip their cars apart to get them back together for something or other, because why not (I miss those days). Tweak tweak and tweak!

Came home just this week to a headlight from a car in my oven at 250!

Still have a transmission and down pipes in the garage from last week.

Me, I consult, suggest and recommend what not to f-up. As long as it don’t come out of my pocket....

Nice design. Always appreciate engineers who design engines to have oil poured on them.

The Mercedes and Jeep are like this. The Infiniti and Z, not so much.

But they all have in common, my MityVac (pneumatic driven). Cake!
I kinda like Hootie & The Blowfish.


I bought my wife and I tickets to their show in Dallas....

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