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  • Cheeseweasel
    Cheeseweasel

  • I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

  • Jack Straw
    Jack Straw

    i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

Posted Images

I was having all sorts of problems getting sound out of my computer a few days ago.  Eventually I remembered I had unplugged the damn speakers for some reason the last time I used it.

Not one of my prouder moments.

After reading this thread it is obvious why Trump saw the need to come up with the MAGA thing. [\CR]

15 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

After reading this thread it is obvious why Trump saw the need to come up with the MAGA thing. [\CR]

Make Astro Glide Again?

Olive oil is so pleb, upgrade to coconut oil it smells much nicer and works on any body part.

1 minute ago, troph said:

Olive oil is so pleb, upgrade to coconut oil it smells much nicer and works on any body part.

If you like Penis Colada... 

57 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Caution: never store your coconut oil next to your chili oil, especially if they are unlabeled. 

hot hot hot GIF

1 hour ago, CooterBrown said:

Ghee is where it's at.

 

RelievedBruisedArachnid-size_restricted.

I can’t imagine using cooking oil on my wang. It’d probably break out like a 13 year old on picture day.

 

1 hour ago, troph said:

Olive oil is so pleb, upgrade to coconut oil it smells much nicer and works on any body part.

Truth 

12 hours ago, EE2B said:


Yup. So many questions. Did you try Pam spray first and it got on everything but your dick?

WD40 with a spermicide would be a solid seller.

On 4/17/2019 at 6:22 AM, CooterBrown said:

Ghee is where it's at.

 

You know how I know that you're ghee? 

On 4/16/2019 at 9:23 PM, ztejas said:

I use olive oil as lube to jerk it with. It's cheaper than body or massage oil or wev and you can cook with it. 

Would recommend. 

843099.jpg

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

Who uses lube?  That would add needless seconds.  

giphy.gif

I enjoy watching the movie "You've Got Mail" with my wife. 

Just tell me where to mail my man card to. I'm not deserving of it anymore. 

34 minutes ago, Uncle Nate said:

I enjoy watching the movie "You've Got Mail" with my wife. 

Just tell me where to mail my man card to. I'm not deserving of it anymore. 

Don't sweat it. My wife and I have probably watched "French Kiss" 25 times or so.

I enjoy watching the movie "You've Got Mail" with my wife. 

Just tell me where to mail my man card to. I'm not deserving of it anymore. 

 

 

 

I got kicked out of the movie theatre watching this because my gf was topless giving me a bj. Shit that was 20 years ago.

16 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

 

 

 

I got kicked out of the movie theatre watching this because my gf was topless giving me a bj. Shit that was 20 years ago.

Image result for likely story gif

Ok fine I’ll add to the part I’m a little ashamed to admit. It was the girl I lost my virginity to. I was 18.

 

  • 2 weeks later...

I wish it were socially acceptable in the US to use mayo as a condiment for french fries. The Dutch have it figured out. 

27 minutes ago, Planet Houston said:

I wish it were socially acceptable in the US to use mayo as a condiment for french fries. The Dutch have it figured out. 

I do french fries with mayo all the time.  I thought that it was a Brit thing, but I welcome the Dutch to the party.

I do french fries with mayo all the time.  I thought that it was a Brit thing, but I welcome the Dutch to the party.
According to Vincent Vega it's a Dutch thing.
Just now, Whatever said:
6 hours ago, DalTxHornFan said:
I do french fries with mayo all the time.  I thought that it was a Brit thing, but I welcome the Dutch to the party.

According to Vincent Vega it's a Dutch thing.

I'm pretty sure the Belgians started it, but then again, it was a Belgian who told me that.

It's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, stuffed into a greasy paper bag. Ask yourself this: Who invented mayo? Who invented the French fried potato? Opportunity and motive is what we're looking for here. Get crackin', Hercule. 

10 hours ago, DalTxHornFan said:

I do french fries with mayo all the time.  I thought that it was a Brit thing, but I welcome the Dutch to the party.

Brits use vinegar. This is the real reason we told them to fuck off. 'MERICA.

4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Brits use vinegar. This is the real reason we told them to fuck off. 'MERICA.

Not just any old vinegar......malt vinegar and it is awesome.

3 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

Not just any old vinegar......malt vinegar and it is awesome.

Fuck off, commie. WE USE KETCHUP HERE. AND NOT THAT CATSUP BULLSHIT EITHER.

11 hours ago, Planet Houston said:

I wish it were socially acceptable in the US to use mayo as a condiment for french fries. The Dutch have it figured out. 

Image result for what? no gif

I took accordion lessons in 1956.

/thread

 

I personally think it's a shame that the accordion fell out of style in America. It's an amazing instrument.

Edited by Mole

54 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

I took accordion lessons in 1956.

09244f8096bcacab768795995383ebe9.jpg

Fragile, eh? Was it an Italian accordion? 

The accordian reminds me of tejano music which is the worst music ever made.

2 hours ago, Augustus said:

They put mayo on fries in France too.

 

Well, that's all the evidence I needed. Damn cheese eating surrender monkeys. 

14 minutes ago, HouTex said:

The accordian reminds me of tejano music which is the worst music ever made.

Reggae says "Hold my beer, mon"

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