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  • Cheeseweasel
    Cheeseweasel

  • I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

  • Jack Straw
    Jack Straw

    i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

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I often have a hard time falling asleep, and one of the best cures is some Bob Ross.  I frequently pass out with headphones on listening to him paint and talk.  I've also downloaded audio from a random YouTube product reviewer reviewing all kinds of crap just because he also has a really relaxing tone.  That shit is like a drug for me, I basically can't sleep without it now. 

Terry Gross/Fresh Air on NPR is a great listen in the middle of the night. She’ll rock you to sleep like a baby.

Two of my favorite movies are "That Thing You Do" and "You've Got Mail".

It's all my wife's fault...never would have seen them to begin with if it weren't for her.  But I hate myself for it...I really do.

49 minutes ago, troph said:

Terry Gross/Fresh Air on NPR is a great listen in the middle of the night. She’ll rock you to sleep like a baby.

Always been a fan. 

I've started blow drying my armpits and taint after I shower.

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6 hours ago, Bill Lumbergh said:

I often have a hard time falling asleep, and one of the best cures is some Bob Ross.  I frequently pass out with headphones on listening to him paint and talk.  I've also downloaded audio from a random YouTube product reviewer reviewing all kinds of crap just because he also has a really relaxing tone.  That shit is like a drug for me, I basically can't sleep without it now. 

I've done the Bob Ross thing, did it for several months.  Try a channel called Sleep With Me Podcast.  It's great.

I listened to Phil Hendrie for months before figuring out the prank.  Not every single night, but regularly.  He got me every fucking time.  One night he said he was having Mike Tyson on, this was early 2000s.  It clearly wasn't Tyson, it was some deep voiced asshole.  They got me to call in, I'm yelling at the producer "that's not Tyson, that's not Tyson!"  He was like no, it totally is.  I was out of my mind trying to tell him that wasn't Tyson.

He got me so fucking good.

3 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

I've started blow drying my armpits and taint after I shower.

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That's embarrassing? It's mandatory. 

4 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

I've started blow drying my armpits and taint after I shower.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 

Been doing that for years. 

On 4/3/2018 at 12:16 PM, BearSchlong said:

I've started blow drying my armpits and taint after I shower.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 

I still towel dry.  Let my wife try that on me one time.  Had it on hot air and almost fried of my cocktail frank and giggle berries.

On 4/3/2018 at 8:26 AM, troph said:

Terry Gross/Fresh Air on NPR is a great listen in the middle of the night. She’ll rock you to sleep like a baby.

she got a voice so husky it could pull a dogsled.

4 minutes ago, El Moco said:

I still towel dry.  Let my wife try that on me one time.  Had it on hot air and almost fried of my cocktail frank and giggle berries.

Pro tip: Do it yourself. 

On 4/3/2018 at 2:53 PM, PilotsError said:

I listened to Phil Hendrie for months before figuring out the prank.  Not every single night, but regularly.  He got me every fucking time. 

People like you make that show great. Callers who fall for his shit are the best.

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Pro tip: Do it yourself. 

She kind of did it on her own because she was already blow drying her hair.  I’m good with the towel.

5 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Pro tip: Do it yourself. 

Protip:  Shave your armpits and taint so there's no hair to hold the moisture.

Protip:  Shave your armpits and taint so there's no hair to hold the moisture.
I do keep it neat and short.
On 4/3/2018 at 12:16 PM, BearSchlong said:

I've started blow drying my armpits and taint after I shower.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
 

You’ll be one of those 80 year old buzzards in the gym locker room with gravity stretched set of truck nutz dangling in front of the wall dryer.   Book it. 

8 hours ago, El Moco said:

I still towel dry.  Let my wife try that on me one time.  Had it on hot air and almost fried of my cocktail frank and giggle berries.

 

giphy.gif

I watch these shuffle dance videos.....and I leave my pants on when I do

 

You’ll be one of those 80 year old buzzards in the gym locker room with gravity stretched set of truck nutz dangling in front of the wall dryer.   Book it. 
I'd love to live to 80.

I'll splurge by getting one of those Dyson hair dryers.
7 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

I watch these shuffle dance videos.....and I leave my pants on when I do

 

If you like those...

 

On 4/2/2018 at 8:08 PM, Washpark said:

Even though the dog isn’t allowed to sleep on the bed, he always sleeps on the bed when the girlfriend is out of town.   

Opposite for us.

 

when I get up to leave for work, the dogs are snuggled up to the wife quicker than you can say, ‘Cruella Deville.’

I’m a fan of Pitch Perfect 

Edited by BrazilHorn

I think Jim Gaffigan is funny. Love all his work. Love that he stays away from politics.


I’m going to see him in Sugarland on 4/20. Can’t wait.
13 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

Since when is liking Jim Gaffigan a bad thing?

Truth. He's probably sold more Hot Pockets than any marketing genius.

On 4/1/2018 at 3:56 PM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You creeped on chicks at your dads funeral?  Bravo sir.  

Crazy horny

11 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

I watch these shuffle dance videos.....and I leave my pants on when I do

 

Just to be clear, are you embarrassed that you watch these videos or that you keep your pants on while watching?

While I have impeccable taste in hardcore/metal music; I am a sucker for any rock band with a chick singer.

Paramore, Joy Formidable, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Garbage, Hole, Portishead, Denali, Code Orange, all that shit. I love it.

I like a couple of nickelback tunes.

i cry on Xmas eve when they turn down the church lights and quietly sing Silent Night.

i know nothing about small engine repair and most anything mechanical other than how to take something to a shop. 

The flying monkey scenes in The Wizard of Oz terrify me and I have been known to leave the room. 

Considering the amount of firearms I own and my experience with them, I consider myself a poor marksman relative to my “peer group” of frequent shooters. 

 

 

Edited by Reagan1k
1234

24 minutes ago, LeGarrette Blount's Punch said:

Never been into big chicks but I'd fuck ursula.  Preferably when her husband's watching.

I think we can shut this one down boys. /thread. 

Now that is why this thread was started. Good stuff there

1 hour ago, LeGarrette Blount's Punch said:

Never been into big chicks but I'd fuck ursula.  Preferably when her husband's watching.

Oh god. 

16 minutes ago, elfenix said:

i can't stand the masters music.

wrong thread.  it would be emabarrassing to say you actually liked it.

mine (I guess):  who's Ursula?

1 minute ago, wd40 said:

mine (I guess):  who's Ursula?

You should not be embarrassed by this. You should thank your lucky stars.

I can't find a thread for this, i'll post it here. Last night me and my roommate's work friends went out last night. We go to a place called Punch Bowl social and play some games and do karaoke all the while taking shots of tequila and rum and all sorts of drinks. By 12am i'm feeling drunk and tired so I head back in an Uber while my roommate and one other buddy went to the Dancing Bare. I go up and notice i need to take a shit and i get undressed and slide my underwear to my feet, all of a sudden I feel dizzy and I throw up all over myself and my underwear as i'm shitting. I feel another one coming up and so i crawl to the bathtub and start throwing up. I must have fallen asleep like that, cause my and the roommate's girlfriend find me about 2am on the floor with my head propped on the edge of the tub with puke on me and in the tub, and shit and puke in and on the toilet. My girlfriend gets me in the tub and hoses me off and gets me to bed. She said she was up till 3 cleaning my mess.

might as well get a reservation in the wives/stupid shit thread after her performance

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