April 1, 20196 yr True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat. I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
April 2, 20196 yr Author whoa, it's a schooner! ha! you dumb bastard. it's not a schooner, it's a sailboat. a schooner is a sailboat, stupid head. YOU KNOW WHAT?! THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! OVER THERE THATS JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!
April 4, 20196 yr That kid is back on the escalator!There's not a year that goes by--not a year--that I don't read about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could've easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!
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