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I will not go down in history as the greatest mass murderer since Adolf Hitler

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Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American people, than with your image in the history books.

Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.

Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious... service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.

Gentlemen! You can’t fight in here! This is the war room !

Of course, the whole point of a doomsday machine is lost if you KEEP IT A SECRET WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THE WORLD, EH?

Well now what happened is, one of our base commanders, he had a sort of, well he went a little funny in the head.

"They won't accept the call. Have you got 55 cents?"

"What, you don't think I'd go into combat with loose change in my pocket, do you?"

Hello? Hello, Dimitri? Listen, I can't hear too well, do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? Oh, that's much better. Yes. Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri. Clear and plain and coming through fine. I'm coming through fine too, eh? Good, then. Well then as you say we're both coming through fine. Good. Well it's good that you're fine and I'm fine. I agree with you. It's great to be fine.

Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find:

- One forty-five caliber automatic
- Two boxes of ammunition
- Four days' concentrated emergency rations
- One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, 
  vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
- One hundred dollars in rubles
- One hundred dollars in gold
- Nine packs of chewing gum
- One issue of prophylactics
- Three lipsticks
- Three pair of nylon stockings. 

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff."

I'm going to get them doors open if it harelips everybody on Bear Creek.

(I actually don't really understand this but I need to remind myself to use it.)

 

That's right sir. You are the only person authorized to do so. And although I hate to judge before all the facts are in, it's beginning to look like General Ripper exceeded his authority.

I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now MOVE!

Edited by UTCzech III

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