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Featured Replies

 

We didn't land on Plymouth Rock! Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!

Jack Donaghy: "Kenneth, you're from Georgia, aren't you?"
Kenneth: "Stone Mountain, sir. Although, when the Parcells first came to America they lived in a town called 'Sexcriminalboat.' Do you think that's Cherokee?"

Edited by rage-a-holic

'I like when a woman has ambition. It's like seeing a dog wearing clothes' – Jack

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It's after six. What am I, a farmer?

We'll all either be working for Kenneth, or dead by his hand.  

Well good luck pushing take off, then auto pilot, then land! 

Liz: Oh, I'm sorry. Are you on some subconscious level seeing this as me toying with your manhood?
Jack: Of course I am, I invented that. Boca 2012 ... you've seen the tapes!
Liz: What? No! I-I just--
Jack: You *are* being coached -- by me!
Liz: Sorry, Jack, I have to take this. Yes, may I please speak to pizza?
Jack: The fake phone call to buy time in an emergency? Classic Donaghy!
Liz: OK, fine, you got me. Game over.
Jack: No, no. This just levels the playing field. Going mano-a-mano against a real adversary: me. It's the ultimate game: Jack Donaghy, playing with himself. It's a Jack-off!

Edited by TriStone

i'm-a the plumber, i'm here to fix-a the washing machine.

right this way, mr spoonatelli.

12 hours ago, Lobo said:

Well good luck pushing take off, then auto pilot, then land! 

think of this one every time i'm on a plane.

Dot Com: Yet another black superstar brought down by his personal life.
Jenna: Just like my favorite golfer, O.J. Simpson.

1 hour ago, BigOrange1 said:

Dot Com: Yet another black superstar brought down by his personal life.
Jenna: Just like my favorite golfer, O.J. Simpson.

Continuity error. Jenna dated OJ. He killed Nicole thinking it was Jenna. 

Jenna-Shares-Her-Relationship-Feelings-A

Edited by Js1

  • Author
2 hours ago, BigOrange1 said:

think of this one every time i'm on a plane.

And when I'm walking through an airport terminal I always think of "herds of walking mozzarella sticks."

  • Author

You think I don't want to know what Pizzerina Sbarro's wearing?

 I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

My wife and I have been rewatching the whole series the last few months and it is just so good.  Even the later seasons were better than I remembered.  

03vj81fsmqj21.jpg

would you like a glass of wine?

oh no thanks, there’s way too many phones in here. 

23 hours ago, BBQ2Bayou said:

 I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

A pack of stray dogs managed the McDonalds. They did a good job!

Making it through a full twenty-four hours without making a single misstep is called Reaganing. The only other people who've ever done it? Lee Iacocca, Jack Welch, and—no judgment—Saddam Hussein.

"I don't know, but I have the entire liberal-media establishment at my disposal. The same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Barack Obama, and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina. I'm going to use that to find my dad a kidney."

"There's no link between diet and diabetes. That's a white myth. Like Larry Bird, or Colorado."

  • 3 weeks later...

jack, the vending machine is broken.

i know.  i broke it.  it was the only way i knew to get you up here.

you bastard, i trusted you!

On 4/17/2019 at 11:13 PM, BBQ2Bayou said:

 I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! 

  • 3 months later...
On 4/18/2019 at 8:14 AM, Stringer said:

My wife and I have been rewatching the whole series the last few months and it is just so good.  Even the later seasons were better than I remembered.  

03vj81fsmqj21.jpg

Button classic!

Rewatching and forgot about this line:

"If I wanted to lick a hippie I'd return Joan Baez's calls."

I found a nursing home off Maine's coast run by the same French company that oversaw Napoleon's exile. She will be treated humanely, but there will be no escape.

It's the Japanese porn star diet. I only eat paper, but I can eat as much paper as I want.

Kenneth, you remember that kid in school that used to bully you? Well, I ate that goat. Because you and I are family.

The only celebrity I ever met was Evel Kenivel's motorcycle. And even that was just a picture.

this badge is a symbol of dignity, honor, and dramatized 1970's inter-ethnic california daytime motorcycle highway justice.

I got a squeezer from an Indian girl on a bunk-bed, so I think I got the whole Harvard experience.

Lemon, isn’t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?

18 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

"Synonym's just another word for the word you want to use."

-- Janey Jimplin

"Liz, take a lesson from Janis and practice some self-control."
"How far are you into that biography?"
"Not very."

I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons

Sully Sulenberger? Yeah, I've met that guy. He's not that great. You know what a great pilot would have done? Not hit the birds. That's what I do every day. Not hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?

 

I love you, Jenna. I want to hogtie you and throw you in the luggage compartment of a Greyhound bus with only a bowl of dirty water.

vs

Jenna, here's your engagement ring. It's made of Liza Minelli’s baby tooth surround by diamonds that passed through a terrified Michael Kors.

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