Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Hi, I’m John Winger of the United States Army and you are my prisoner. 

Ok, Mr. Pushups. Let's hear your story.

You might have noticed... I've got a slight weight problem.

My name's Dewey Oxburger.  My friends call me Ox.  I don't know if you've noticed, but I got  a slight weight problem.  My doctor says I swallow a lot of aggression, along with a lot if pizzas.  

 

edit- dammit retread

Edited by Sbbruin

I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

You know, one day Tito Puente's gonna be dead, and you're gonna say, "Oh, I've been listening to him for years, and I think he's fabulous."

Have you ever been convicted of a felony or misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing. 

Convicted? No. 

Never convicted. 

C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin!

Do you know the rest of your problem? You've never had anybody give you the Aunt Jemima treatment. 

WHERE'S MY TRUCK!?!?!?

Next to Porkys, this was the best shower scene back in the day for us horny adolescents to stay up and hope it came on HBO while our parents were asleep.

 

https://imgur.com/Gejqrrb

 

And you are lying if you say you didn't do that.

Edited by Nueces River Rat

C'mon, it's Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick 'em up, we zip right out again. We're not going to Moscow. It's Czechoslovakia. It's like we're going into Wisconsin!

Great. I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin.

Recruiter: Now, are either of you homosexuals?

Winger: You mean like flaming?

Recruiter: Well, it's a standard question we have to ask.

Russell: No, we're not homosexual, but we are willing to learn.

Winger: Yeah ... would they send us someplace special

So many great fucking lines in this movie...

I sure hope this is the mess hall...How's it going Eisenhower?

We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts!

You’re weird. You’re a mutant. You’re a killer. You’re a trained killer. You’re a lean, mean, fighting machine!

General Barnicke: Where the hell have you been, soldier?
John Winger: Traaaaaaaining, sir!
Soldiers: Training, sir!
General Barnicke: What kind of training, son?
John Winger: Aaaaaaarmy training, sir!
Soldiers: Army training, sir!
[laughter]
General Barnicke: Where's your drill sergeant, men?
John Winger: Blown up, sir!
Capt. Stillman: Uhh, yes, sir, these are Sgt. Hulka's men. He was injured during basic training.
General Barnicke: I soo. So am I to understand you men completed your training on your own?
John Winger: Tha's the fact, Jack!
Soldiers: That's the fact, Jack!
General Barnicke: Captain, these are exactly the kind of go-getters I want on my EM-50 project.
Capt. Stillman: But, sir . . .
General Barnicke: Don't "But" me, Captain. I want them on the plane. Tonight!

Gentlemen, it's party time, battalion style.

I had to go back and look at the script. You're right. I always thought he said battalion.

Funny that Stripes and Full Metal Jacket share almost the same structure.

I love that this thread and "Full Metal Jacket" were started around the same time.  Since they are basically both the same movie to me...

I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I thought I'd better join before I got drafted.

I was waiting but thought it would be way before post 41. Too obvious I guess.

The name is Francis, friends call me psycho... any of you homos call me Francis and I kill you

You guys really left me...

LEE HARVEY, you are a madman! When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow... I want to party with you, cowboy. The two of us together, forget it!

12 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts!

This is my favorite scene. "We're 10 and 1!" Ramis and Candy are losing it in the background. 

 

Edited by Jograves

You know what the rest of your problem is? You've never had anybody give you the Aunt Jemima treatment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.