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Wait, it’s hot in Texas during summer?? Weird.

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  • Brisketexan
    Brisketexan

    Some people make friends, MIA makes enemas.

  • Maybe you shouldn't squirt the water so far inside?

  • Continental Op
    Continental Op

    Have fun fucking fat moon-faced Lutheran chicks when it's 50 degrees below zero in January you Yankee cunts.

17 minutes ago, ztejas said:

As opposed to... her planning it? 

Or are you married to the rare breed that can actually competently plan a trip.

As opposed to her caring too much about where we stay and what we do.  

She's happy to get away for a while 

1 hour ago, Hate said:

Wait, it’s hot in Texas during summer?? Weird.

Yeah, man is that baffling... so I studied up on it while on the shitter last week and now I understand it all:

First, the Earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes-Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes.

2 hours ago, TexArcher said:

 

 

Are you asking if it's socially acceptable to shove a stick of deodorant up your ass?

I mean, it's your ass.  Do what you feel.

I dont stick it up my ass. I lift up my sack and give the under carriage a swipe. Used to use baby powder until we found out its made with hitler aids.

Edited by MissingInAction

1 hour ago, phdhorn said:

And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes.

That's BS.   She wore his clothes. 

I dont stick it up my ass. I lift up my sack and give the under carriage a swipe. Used to use baby powder until we found out its made with hitler aids.
Doesn't that sting?
3 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I dont stick it up my ass. I lift up my sack and give the under carriage a swipe. Used to use baby powder until we found out its made with hitler aids.

I thought this was standard practice.

  • Author

Softball was fun tonight: 90 degrees with 80% humidity at 7:30, and a mere 3 degrees cooler with 90% humidity at 8:30.   Flags not moving an inch.  I don’t know why I keep doing it.   

37 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Softball was fun tonight: 90 degrees with 80% humidity at 7:30, and a mere 3 degrees cooler with 90% humidity at 8:30.   Flags not moving an inch.  I don’t know why I keep doing it.   

You like sweaty bros?

  • Author
6 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

You like sweaty bros?

No, I spend a free few hours away from the wife while she overloads on Pinterest shit. 

I went up to Austin this weekend for the state high school softball tourney.   It was nice compared to the humid crap down here on the coast.    I didn't hurt me one bit sitting in the afternoon sun.    You wusses  who live away from the coast  need to quit complaining about the heat.  We're Texas and it's supposed to fricken hot this time of year.    

17 hours ago, Storm the Field said:

I think I said something similar in last year's thread, but I actually find as I get older, I enjoy Summer less with each passing year. 

I mean, I still enjoy hitting the pool/beach/lake on the weekends, going fishing, watching baseball. That's not what I'm talking about. 

I'm talking about it still being 91 at 8 p.m. and you're sweating your ass off and swatting mosquitos while trying to grill. Or walking through a 120 degree parking lot after eating a big lunch and then getting in your broiling vehicle.   

So, to clarify, it's not really Summer I don't enjoy any more. It's Summer in SE Texas. At some point in the next decade or so, I'm figuring out a way to work remotely and live anywhere but here from mid June-Labor Day.

 

I'm the opposite.  As I get older (I'm 47) , I like the heat more.   I have a pretty rigorous workout routine and been at it for five years now and it's damn hard to get into the groove when the temp is in the 50 or below . 

But I agree the humidity here on the coast can be unbearable, but the key is hydration.   You do notice a difference the further you go inland as 95 degrees or higher with 50% or less humidity feels much better than the same with 70% or higher humidity here.     That's what makes a move up to the Hill Country appealing.  

This thread is basically just the Surly version of this:

5fcc9185bc0c8bc2319f0cbe2ef1f078dc457773

 

"Hot today."

"Yep."

"Mm-hmm."

"That's what the government wants you to think."

21 minutes ago, miguelito said:

This thread is basically just the Surly version of this:

5fcc9185bc0c8bc2319f0cbe2ef1f078dc457773

 

"Hot today."

"Yep."

"Mm-hmm."

"That's what the government wants you to think."

Dale, you giblet-head, we live in Texas. It's already 110° in the summer, and if it gets one degree hotter, I'm gonna kick your ass!

Softball was fun tonight: 90 degrees with 80% humidity at 7:30, and a mere 3 degrees cooler with 90% humidity at 8:30.   Flags not moving an inch.  I don’t know why I keep doing it.   
Last night was perfect for softball...80, low humidity, no clouds and a 10mph breeze


Today will be hell. 90.
10 hours ago, CleverNickname said:

Don't get the baby powder with talc, but corn starch is hiter-aids free. 

Then you can scrape off the residue to sell to your local taqueria.

44 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Then you can scrape off the residue to sell to your local taqueria.

Compact it, let it dry and age, then grate onto you pizza and other Italian dishes.

 

  • Author
3 minutes ago, Hate said:

Sultry.

Sultry of Swat.  These mosquitoes are out of control right now. 

15 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I dont stick it up my ass. I lift up my sack and give the under carriage a swipe. Used to use baby powder until we found out its made with hitler aids.

Wait, you do it yourself, instead of having your manservant handle things?

What’s the point of having a manservant then?  Do you use a bidet, instead of having him wipe you with a moist towelette?

3 hours ago, Nueces River Rat said:

You wusses  who live away from the coast  need to quit complaining about the heat.  We're Texas and it's supposed to fricken hot this time of year

I’m not gonna lie, I’m intrigued by places like Vermont and New Hampshire, where the average July and August highs are in the 70s, topping out at around 81-82.  

Those locations are also more conducive to my mid-life crisis, namely building my version of the Possum Lodge from the Red-Green Show.  My wife doesn’t know that yet.  

2 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Wait, you do it yourself, instead of having your manservant handle things?

What’s the point of having a manservant then?  Do you use a bidet, instead of having him wipe you with a moist towelette?

The heat puts Enrique into a tiff. I can barely get him to trim my ball fro 

The Lord God and His mother, Mother Nature, has heard my supplications today and granted your asses a cover of clouds that was sort of unexpected.  This is the low drifting in from the west (while all eyes are to the southeast) and merging with that mess in the Bay of Campeche (radar now showing rain moving into Texas from that).  So right now it's 80°-85° in the ATX area and temps should hold below 90° today.  There is even rain coming from the west/southwest, but most of that is probably gonna dry up before it gets here - but some might.  In any event, suck those clouds down, bitches before the Arabian heat arrives Saturday.  But models still look good for more precip and more or less normal temps after this little foray into hell during the weekend (and it is looking pretty hot... temps on Sunday might top 103° in some areas).

Austin:

Saturday - 97 / 75

Sunday - 98 / 76

Vermont: 

Saturday - 75 / 50

Sunday - 76 / 54

 

 

Stoneham, CO: 79/51; 26% humidity.

Can't believe my wife dumped me and Houston to run horses on a 50K acre ranch for that.

Nervy.

22 hours ago, Storm the Field said:

Flying home wearing a fleece jacket and landing back in Houston to 97 and 100% humidity is one of life's cruelest jokes.

Indeed, and that's why I try to balance out those trips by departing IAH wearing fleece and making a connection in Miami for a flight to an island, in January-February.

 

38 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Austin:

Saturday - 97 / 75

Sunday - 98 / 76

Vermont: 

Saturday - 75 / 50

Sunday - 76 / 54

 

 

 

This is for January:

Average high : 30 degrees
Average low:  10 degrees
Average snowfall:  18 inches

       
8 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

WTF are you wearing fleece in Houston?

Ever?

Jan 2018.  I left for the Caribbean while it was freezing and snowing in SETX. Historically the winter after a hurricane/tropical storm SETX has a cold snap or 2.

Edited by BearSchlong

5 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Sultry of Swat.  These mosquitoes are out of control right now. 

I saw a mother letting her kids play in some standing water yesterday not 500 yards from the Woodgate water play area. I'll be sure and attend the funeral.

5 minutes ago, Hate said:

This is for January:

Average high : 30 degrees
Average low:  10 degrees
Average snowfall:  18 inches

I lived in North Dakota for two years. This was winter:

  • October: 57 / 31
  • November: 38 / 17
  • December: 25 / 4
  • January: 21 / 0
  • February: 27 / 6
  • March: 40 / 18
  • April: 56 / 30

7 fucking months where the average nighttime temps were below freezing, and no internet (this was the 80s) and ND is bleak and desolate.   NH, Vermont, places with similar winters, I can handle.   Just throw on another layer, unlike July in Austin where there is only so many clothes you can take off before getting arrested for public indecency, or getting fired.   

Plus the houses always seemed better-built, and many have basements.  

  • Author
47 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

I saw a mother letting her kids play in some standing water yesterday not 500 yards from the Woodgate water play area. I'll be sure and attend the funeral.

I walk my dog every morning by there.  I’ll be sure to snuff them out 

1 hour ago, Hate said:

 

This is for January:

Average high : 30 degrees
Average low:  10 degrees
Average snowfall:  18 inches

       

Unless you know what 30 degrees and sunny with low humidity feels like, you don’t know. 

If you’ve only lived in Texas, you only see 30 when there’s a storm that covers the sun and brings wind and precipitation. 

Beginning my first summer in SF after leaving Texas. While I miss wearing shorts and flip flops and the fog can be a bummer, I can’t remember what we used to do for four months of scorching heat. People here flip out when it approaches 80.

Beginning my first summer in SF after leaving Texas. While I miss wearing shorts and flip flops and the fog can be a bummer, I can’t remember what we used to do for four months of scorching heat. People here flip out when it approaches 80.

I go outside. I know that I am a hot weather person and cold weather has the same effect on me as apparently hot weather has on a lot of y’all. But like I said before, I go swimming, enjoy the rivers, lakes, beaches with the kids, fish at night when in Fulton. But I also just get out and do stuff. I have every other Friday off and I find myself out taking photos. Yeah, I get sweaty, but showers still work as do washing machines for clothes.
3 hours ago, deadshank said:

Stoneham, CO: 79/51; 26% humidity.

Can't believe my wife dumped me and Houston to run horses on a 50K acre ranch for that.

Nervy.

Maybe your username was the reason?

So... believable.

18 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Maybe your username was the reason?

So... believable.

Leave my golf game out of this. 

49 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Leave my golf game out of this. 

Wrong "shank", lulz

On 6/3/2019 at 3:15 PM, deadshank said:

I'm gonna put on a skin tight pair of brand new, starched Wranglers and walk in the borrow ditch amongst the tall Johnson grass along I-10 all the way from Beaumont to Houston just  to see if I can do it.

Username checks out.  Will all Texas-based Surlies please check the side of the road for dead bodies?

22 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Softball was fun tonight: 90 degrees with 80% humidity at 7:30, and a mere 3 degrees cooler with 90% humidity at 8:30.   Flags not moving an inch.  I don’t know why I keep doing it.   

How long does it take to warm up your arm?  Answer: not long.

  • Author
2 minutes ago, Bullneck said:

How long does it take to warm up your arm?  Answer: not long.

It’s moreso the hammies, Achilles, and such 

86 at 11:20 at night. Walking my dog and my ball sweat has ball sweat

It’s 52 right now, gonna be 68 tomorrow. Wife has to be up super early to catch a plane to Sacramento. She looked at the forecast tonight and basically got mad that it’s going to be 103 or so tomorrow in Sacramento. Nothing like a 60 degree swing from your morning to your afternoon. 

Absolutely dreadful. 

 

 

We're not touching 80 at all this week, low to mid 70s. i can turn the AC off upstairs 

Edited by MNLonghornFUKM

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