June 14, 20196 yr fart /färt/ Learn to pronounce INFORMAL verb 1. emit gas from the anus. 2. waste time on silly or trivial things. noun 1. an emission of gas from the anus. 2. a boring or contemptible person. "he was such an old fart"
June 14, 20196 yr More than once I've woken my wife up with a fart. Not the sound, mind you, as they were silent. But the smell. I was kind of proud of those.
June 15, 20196 yr So 27 years ago, I finally score a date with this Elizabeth Shue look-alike who eventually foolishly married me, and I'm driving her out to Pedernales for a picnic, and I've been having trouble with weird stuff happening to my 12 year old Honda Civic ever since I ran off the road and into a creek in the middle of the night a month or so earlier (young, stupid, whole other story). So, this awful aroma starts wafting my way from the A/C, and I'm thinking some fresh new hell has arisen in the form of a dead animal somewhere under the hood, and I say "WHAT... IS... THAT... SMELL?!? and I roll down the windows and start apologizing profusely for the state of my car. Five years later, she admits to me that she had let a silent-but-deadly rip, and only agreed to a second date because I had just assumed it couldn't possibly have been her.
June 16, 20196 yr 7 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said: So 27 years ago, I finally score a date with this Elizabeth Shue look-alike who eventually foolishly married me, and I'm driving her out to Pedernales for a picnic, and I've been having trouble with weird stuff happening to my 12 year old Honda Civic ever since I ran off the road and into a creek in the middle of the night a month or so earlier (young, stupid, whole other story). So, this awful aroma starts wafting my way from the A/C, and I'm thinking some fresh new hell has arisen in the form of a dead animal somewhere under the hood, and I say "WHAT... IS... THAT... SMELL?!? and I roll down the windows and start apologizing profusely for the state of my car. Five years later, she admits to me that she had let a silent-but-deadly rip, and only agreed to a second date because I had just assumed it couldn't possibly have been her. Has she ever acted out the scene from Leaving Las Vegas where she pours liquor over her tits...and more importantly can you post the video?
June 16, 20196 yr You ever rip ass as you are turning around to drop a deuce and inadvertently crop dust yourself? Sent from the shitter
June 17, 20196 yr On 6/16/2019 at 4:48 PM, Fudge Nuggets said: That Buford’s a sly one. Already knows his ABC’s. hit the deck, boy!
June 25, 20196 yr I write "FART" on every fogged up hotel mirror as a nice surprise for the next guest.
June 26, 20196 yr On 6/15/2019 at 5:26 AM, RPM said: The best pass a Simms ever made. Went on a silent count.
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