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I always thought we were pretty normal.

Parents divorced.  When I was about 10 one of my mother's friends gave her a cat for a gift.  This was some persian, himalayan, high-bred showcat.  It was supposably a big deal.  I remember being told to not shoot my slingshot (I bought it in concan and was lethal with it), at the showcat. 

My mom named the cat "Fancy."  Whatever, keep your cat away from my slingshot and we'll all get along fine.

Yesterday (over thirty years later) my wife asked my mother "what were the names of pets you had with your children growing up?"  She's trying to find a pet name and was just making small talk with my mom.

Mom responds with all the names over the years and adds in "Fantasy."  I said "WTF?"  And she responded "We called the cat "Fancy" for a nickname, but her real name was "Fantasy."  

Mom, you're weird, I'm embarrassed for us all, and no wonder I had those awkward years - I'm sure all of my friends' parents told them to stay the fuck away from our place because you were sick.

  • Popular Post

Tell us more about your mom's pussy.

  • Author
1 minute ago, 'stache said:

Tell us more about your mom's pussy.

It birthed me, now it's over 70, but apparently it still holds some secrets.

What did I do to deserve this?

Maybe you should punch your Momma right square in the mouth.

  • Author

When I was about 8, my dad decided he was going to buy a car with a pussy magnet, so he bought a used TR6, which was basically a cheap piece-of-shit british car for midgets.

There was something wrong with it so he decided he was going to upgrade the wiring in that car.

There was a medium sized fire, and no more pussy magnet.

Next stop - cc08f6a0381c336b6b4c1697b3f00415.jpg

All the pussy magnet with none of the fire risk.  

Edited by CoTex

I think that's the end of the magnet that repels.

8 minutes ago, RPM said:

I think that's the end of the magnet that repels.

giphy.gif

  • Author
10 minutes ago, ulukinatme said:

tenor.gif?itemid=12414527

This is supposed to be the "my parents made stupid decisions and I want to disclose them to the internets" thread of childhood purgation.

2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

tumblr_p938090VuF1u0sy2bo1_500.gif

Nice marmot. 

And normally you see pussy named Fantasy at the scrip club. 

Edited by Fuck Tim Beck

8 minutes ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Nice marmot. 

And normally you see pussy named Fantasy at the scrip club. 

giphy.gif

2 hours ago, CoTex said:

It birthed me, now it's over 70, but apparently it still holds some secrets.

What did I do to deserve this?

Username checks out 

17 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Username checks out 

i laughed.

  • Author

1981 - Dad wants to climb the status ladder - we’re going to be yachtsmen.

77s-03.jpg

We got the blue version of the yellow craft in the middle.

good work dad.  At least you didn’t buy Apple stock, or Berkshire Hathaway.  This was clearly the better investment.

6 hours ago, CoTex said:

It birthed me, now it's over 70, but apparently it still holds some secrets.

What did I do to deserve this?

Your mom was fucking Aldo Nova on the side?

You couldn’t see spending the rest of your life with your head hung down in shame?

 

You know you might’ve been born just plain white trash, but Fancy is your name!

 

Here’s your one chance Fancy, don’t let us down.

 

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Your mom was fucking Aldo Nova on the side?

The side, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, whatever it took. 

You're embarrassed to be your mother's son because she named her cat Fancy? What are you, a character in the Sopranos? 

  • Author
29 minutes ago, boknowstecmo said:

You're embarrassed to be your mother's son because she named her cat Fancy? What are you, a character in the Sopranos? 

Fantasy fuckstick.  Fancy was the nickname.

5 minutes ago, CoTex said:

Fantasy fuckstick.  Fancy was the nickname.

Yeah, that changes everything.

4 hours ago, deadshank said:

I want hush puppies. 

We ain't got time for that crap!!!

21 hours ago, CoTex said:

What did I do to deserve this?

Dang, you almost worked in a Pet Shop Boys reference.

  • Author
9 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

Dang, you almost worked in a Pet Shop Boys reference.

The Got damn Germans got nothin’ to do with it.

26 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

Dang, you almost worked in a Pet Shop Boys reference.

 

16 minutes ago, CoTex said:

The Got damn Germans got nothin’ to do with it.

They sounded taller on the radio.

14 hours ago, boknowstecmo said:

You're embarrassed to be your mother's son because she named her cat Fancy? What are you, a character in the Sopranos? 

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes CoTex look like a possum's pecker.

19 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I could really go for a Diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper. 

Kinky.

17 hours ago, deadshank said:

I want hush puppies. 

Fucking hell. I had a huge lunch, but now I'm hungry again.

baV2rPoc1FzW8m-6m6mOy9ZNtNKWoiAT-_P2qZs1

My mom kept her beloved dead cat frozen in the garage chest freezer for years. 

On 7/3/2019 at 3:56 PM, RPM said:

Maybe you should punch your Momma right square in the mouth.

From your voice on the radio I figured you’d be taller...

  • Author
3 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

My mom kept her beloved dead cat frozen in the garage chest freezer for years. 

I feel better now.

thank you for this.

4 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

My mom kept her beloved dead cat frozen in the garage chest freezer for years. 

Did she at least keep him wrapped separately from your dad?

6 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

My mom kept her beloved dead cat frozen in the garage chest freezer for years. 

Kinky

If they'd have cremated the sonofabitch, I'd have been kickin' that Mr. Bandit's ass around the moon by now!

My handle's Smokey Bear and I'm tail-grabbin yo ass right now!

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