Everything posted by Bama Llama
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when is my show coming back?
I want someone to resurrect this, including the fine writing and someone remotely approaching the acting chops of Richard Boone:
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Alabama Football - Now Featuring Kalen DeBoer
Tua has now been injured for the fourth time trying to extend a play when he should have thrown the ball away. It's a flaw, maybe the only one, in his game. For the sake of football, I hope his surgery is successful and that he plays again with a bionic hip. He's the best passer ever at Alabama and I saw Joe Namath play live several times. Joe, before his knee injury, was a better runner, but Tua's the more accurate. Tua himself will always be a winner, football or no football. Blaming Nick Saban is off the mark. This one's on Tua. Football involves high speed collisions of large, fast bodies. QBs should avoid them whenever possible.
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Most watched Games this season...so far
Most watched game this season to date was viewed by <10 million. ESPN top 150 games thread tells us _50_ million , including Milhous Nixon live and in person, watched Texas beat Arkansas in 1969. That's 25% of all then-breathing Americans. Are you serious, Clark? Well hell, now I've got to fact check fuckin ESPN.
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What are your favorite movie quotes?
Agreed, there are many quotable lines. But when the house band cranks up La Marseillaise and the patrons all join in and drown out the Nazis, and the hooker with a heart of gold at the bar sings out "Aux armes, citoyens!" and shouts "Vive la France!" at the end, it gets me right in the old heart every time. Strong, strong stuff. I don't know of a more memorable sequence in any film.
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If Vince had been tackled at the 1 yard line
Ahhh, sublime, profane speculation; thy name is Surly. Scanning through such excellent bickering among philosophers who just happen to be Longhorns fans is much more pleasing than getting ready for work. I cheered with gusto when Vince scored, by the way, in my Alabama dirt floor hovel with faded images of Bryant, Wallace and Jesus hanging askew on the wood paneling. Had he not scored, I would have cursed loudly and disturbed my sweet sleeping wife. Long live Surly, its successors and assigns.
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What are your favorite movie quotes?
Laszlo: Play La Marseillaise. Play it! Bandleader: Looks at Rick Rick: (nods) The rest is seared upon the eyes and ears of history - epic, man. Epic.
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Tell Me About Texas a&m
Back before electricity when I was a kid, all and I mean ALL of Bama's games after September kicked off at 2:00, as did most of the games in the SEC except at LSU, which had night games because hoodoo. I still think 2:00 or 2:30 CT games are the best. Fuck ESPN, Disney, ABC, Fox and all the weasels they rode in on. Baseball and football were meant to be played in the daytime. Hey! You little shits get out of my yard!
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Joaquin Phoenix as Joker
This, and also what doesn't happen when you treat people with kindness and respect. Instead of being stabbed in the eye, the Cockney little guy is kissed on the head and helped out the door. First 75-80% of the film was lovely, moody, acoustic music. What a nice break from ear shattering fx-laden shyte. Then when the climactic scenes unfold you get White Room and R&R Pt II. I like this pace and style very much. A good, positive story is being told here.
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AP Top 25
If the scenario I posed happens, yer damn tootin. Bama, LSU, Florida with recent or multiple Ls, and UGA with the ugly home loss to SoCar, and eerrrvrybody sick of SECSEC, it can happen. Just keep Auburn the hell out.
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AP Top 25
SEC will do well to get one team in the playoff. Georgia is praying for the AU Boogereaters to beat LSU and Bama, and then lay down for them. If it plays out that way, and UGA defeats Gata and whoever comes out of the SEC West, they might have a shot at the playoff, but I doubt it. That would more likely set up the SEC being skunked. Hell, maybe the time has come. I do know this; assuming both teams win the next two, come Nov. 2 in Tuscaloosa, "there'll be some snot knockin' out in the old okra patch," as the late great Darrell K. Royal used to say. What happens after that, I got no idea, but I think Clemson, Ohio State and the Big XII champion will be in the mix.
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South Alabama @ Troy, 7CT ESPN2
One of USA's many problems is that weak-ass logo. Looks like a pissed off house cat horking up a hairball.
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Any critters you have a irrational fear of / hatred for?
(1) Yes, roaches because they're fast moving and filthy and can fly. Worse than seeing a roach is hearing one fly in a dark room. The Horror. (2) Yes, yellowjackets. They WILL chase you in a swarm and sting repeatedly. My buddy almost died from anaphylactic shock after bumping a ground hive in an old yard timber border thingie while mowing his yard. Fuckers were all over him in a flash. ER doc said 5 more minutes he'd have been a goner. His wife's nagging saved him! (2) These fuckers: (fuck me images no make) https://images.app.goo.gl/Jks247L4ZNXmNn7g6 https://images.app.goo.gl/oRn5HkCcwesChSUf6 Devil's Horses a/k/a Lubbers. The nasty Alien monster of herbivores. Red wings, yellow bellues, pincer mouths, long legs lined with barbs, toxic spit juice . . . the stuff of nightmares. IWhen I was 6 or 7 I earned a penny for each one I killed. It wasn't worth it. They haunt me to this day. From the U of Florida Featured Creatures website: "When alarmed, lubbers will spread their wings, hiss, and secrete foul-smelling froth from their spiracles. They can expel a fine spray of toxic chemicals for a distance of 15 cm."
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Gators @ Tigers (-14.5) 10/12/19 7pm ESPN
Gata punter Townsend is a factor, a field position flipper. I don't care how effective the retooled LSU offense is, 'tis harder to drive 80 than to drive 50. Also, over/under on successful Gata fake punts is 2. Over/under on Golden Girls multiple orgasms by dawn Sunday is 68, win or lose.
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Trivial Things That Make You Surly
"Takeaway." Please stop using this word except when referring to defensive football.
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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread
I'd pay good money to replace the suckass commercials we're bitching about for just one night with the Joey Heatherton Perfect Sleeper mattress ad and Farrah Fawcett Noxzema ad on a loop. Where's that fuckin time machine?
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This is why everyone should spend 50 bucks and get a dash cam
The Russian dashcam compilations are a guilty pleasure. I love how the audio goes from bad music to an incredicly stupid collision to the driver yelling the Russian equivalent of "GOT DAMMIT THAT COCKSUCKER HIT ME I'LL KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER!"
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Texas opens as a 10.5 point underdog v Oklahoma
Put a spy on Hurts / randomly blitz from OU offense's right side / otherwise play like you've been playing / Horns win straight up, going away. Check highlights of 2017 Bama at Auboogers. Hurts was hapless; got so rattled at crunch time he rolled out backwards and ran out of bounds for a ten yard loss on 3d down and NEVER EVEN THREW THE BALL AWAY, leaving us at 4th and 20. He's poised until he's rattled. There's your game. I'm saying Horns by 13.
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TSN's Top 10 College RB's of All Time
Agree Charles White is not in top ten but I did personally see him run wild vs favored Bama in '78 in Bham. OJ's long game winning run vs UCLA alone (sorry SB) in '67 was enough to put him in the top ten. Note Bud Wilkinson calling OJ "this boy" in the clip. He and Chris Schenkel sound like Fred Rogers on the air. Too bad college OJ became psycho Bizarro head lopping killer OJ. The problem with excluding Doak Walker, et al., from the list is that you now have to put time brackets on the list and delete the "all-time." Shit, I'm channeling the county agent from Green Acres.
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Schadenfreude: laughing at the misery of Tennessee Volunteer fans
Also karma for Peyton Manning reentering the field postgame to direct the Vol band from a ladder after big win over Bama @ Birmingham. Turtle-chinned dick. Nossir, I don't like it.
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On Becoming a God In Central Florida
Almost anything written by Carl Hiaasen is well worth reading or hearing. Stormy Weather, Skin Deep, Lucky You, Tourist Season, and more. Very sassifying stuff and will go dark on you in a heartbeat.
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AP Top 25
That's what you surly fellers need to be mojoing up. I hate it, but we (Bama) are as thin at LB, OL, DL and experienced DBs as the mint John Cleese offered Monsieur Creosote. Did you see Ole Miss hang 31 on us Saturday? Unless big changes happen and soon, we are losing to LSU and the Boogs (heresy!). AP #1 in September means less than a Trump tweet.
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Official "Fuck this stupid ass-commercial" thread
Agree 100% with the above post, RDCanecutter. The incessant stream of big pharma ads fucking cause health problems! If someone needs medical advice they damn sure don't need to get it from television. Eliminating big pharma ads should be the next battleground for the Surgeon General (does one still exist?). These karma vampires should be removed from all platforms. Someone very dear to me has their A-Fib somewhat under control but must keep a finger poised on the mute button or channel change button to get through a half hour of cable. And they definitely do NOT want to hear the two dozen harmful potential side effects of "Alphabetaphiloxipoppinhrpuffinstuffelol" and the like.
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ESPN GAME DAY
That fuckin Lil Red is creepier than Pennywise.
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ESPN GAME DAY
Louie Anderson is shaking his head at those two, saying "Ah, jeez! Just lookitum."
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ESPN GAME DAY
Correction: 35-0 beatdown was 1991.