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Kavinsky

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Everything posted by Kavinsky

  1. 2011 was the the absolute suck. Drought began early in the year, triple digits started in May. By July, lake travis was a puddle. My dumbass picked August 27 as a move-in date, 113 degrees. Then in September Bastrop burned to a crisp. Yes this summer is a miserable bitch, but 2011 was the wrath of an angy God
  2. "ROBERT STOOPS TO BAGGAGE CLAIM"
  3. When Chuck Norris left home as a child he told his father "you're man of the house now."
  4. It was spring semester of my soph year at tech and I was at the rec center swimming laps. I pulled up the deck, sat up and removed my goggles. Then the guy in the lane next to me asks "how far did you swim?" Holy shit, its Mike Leach. "A mile" I replied Leach: "how many laps is that?" Me: "32" Leach: "Fuck that!" Rest in Peace Captain Leach, thank you for making college football much more fun
  5. This feels appropriate.
  6. I bent over to pick up my phone charger and fired off what I had expected to be your typucal post Sunday dinner assbiscuit. Without any warning or provocation, a brown bank bag went off in my drawers. My wife entered the bedroom as I was cowboy walking to the shitter and after 11 years of marriage and 2 kids she's grown desensitized to my farts but this foul miasma caused her to let out a "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Next time I order pad thai, I'll avoid "thai hot"
  7. I'm 34 and own a dozen guns. I haven't needed them up until now. However, my daughter will start dating in about ten years
  8. Did you join the posse in search of the servant girl annihilator?
  9. Launching missile during nuke talks? Just glass those fuckers already
  10. Topped the generator off with sea foam and gas last night. Then had a "Tim the toolman Taylor" dad moment when I doused the shit out of the carb with starter fluid and fired that fucker up leaving my driveway to look like spicolis van had opened up
  11. "Paging Dr. Mengele"
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

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