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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. If anyone on the planet has the necessary combination of physical control over one's body and the opportunity to amply practice their "penmanship," it's probably an Olympic skier.
  2. My dad and his sisters claim to have occasionally entertained themselves during a childhood growing up in the Chicago suburbs by going into the city and standing around, looking up at a tall building, and muttering to each other, "do you think he'll jump?" until a crowd formed, and then quietly leaving the crowd. Not sure how much, if any, is both truthful and accurate, but mildly amusing to consider. /csb
  3. Is whatshername wearing a shirt from the human trafficking jerkoff parlor that Robert Kraft visited in West Palm Beach prior to whichever Super Bowl that was?
  4. I prefer muffins for McDumps poached egg sandwiches and biscuits for their folded egg sandwiches.
  5. It's a shit job with low wages and you more or less watch people die/in the process of dying every day, so while I certainly understand your perspective, you're unlikely to find too many A++ hospice workers.
  6. Maybe it's "welcome to the South, where our gloveboxes aren't filled with Yankee shit like proof of insurance documentation"?
  7. The Sausage Egg McMuffin is one of the USA's finest accomplishments.
  8. More likely "lack of oxygen to the brain."
  9. I suspect it's an indictment of the state of healthcare in this country, but I could be wrong.
  10. I assume that you haven't read his will either, but I acknowledge the possibility he may not leave his entire fortune exclusively to his offspring.
  11. @Superhero?
  12. It's occurred to me that Elmo's Mars, Starlink, whatever his dildorocket is called, whatever this latest dumbassery is called, etc. is just an effort to so thoroughly pollute our orbit that we will never leave the planet, and he's just trying to lay the groundwork to allow for some kind of eventual hegemony by all his fuckless offspring and their descendants.
  13. Upon receiving a new coffee maker as a wedding present, I used our old one for similar purposes. I tried making coffee using Mt. Dew instead of water (acrid black tar - not recommended), then Budweiser (mostly boiled off, but enough output accumulated that I can confirm it tastes terrible and no further research along these lines is necessary), then Jim Beam. Small amount of product, and I don't even remember whether I sampled it because it made such an offensive smell that I caused a commotion in my apartment building. I had to go out into the common areas and convince my neighbors that whatever the source of the odor, we probably didn't need to call the police or the gas company. Coffee is just fine the way it is.
  14. One of the things that most disgusted me about living in Miami was how badly Haitians seemed to be treated by everyone else.
  15. Wearing an edgarsuit.
  16. I also found it middling. Not terrible by any means, but I feel like I must have somehow watched a different movie with the amount of praise it's received.
  17. What could it possibly be other than a recording of something featured on Friday After Dark?
  18. So today during football, State Farm is previewing a Super Bowl ad (or entire new campaign?) with Danny McBride and Keegan-Michael Key. I currently find both of those guys funny, so if it's a full onslaught like Jake (either one), etc., I am not looking forward to inevitably growing tired of it, and possibly them as a result.
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