Everything posted by touchthemonolith
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Bijan Robinson is special
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Tom Herman's offense. The use of Bijan Robinson is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Keontay Ingram most of the plays will go over a typical fan's head. There's also Herman's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his failure to use the best player on his roster - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. Real Texas fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these plays, to realize that they're not just bad and ineffective- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Tom Herman truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humor in Herman's existential catchphrase "Winning is Really Hard" which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpleton fans scratching their heads in confusion as Tom Herman's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a MENSA tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
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Casey Thompson
Seems like a great kid who flashed a ton of talent. Looked great slinging the ball deep, made mostly smart decisions, looked electric when he ran the ball. All the potential in the world; I'm anxious to see how many more Alamo Bowls he can win under Tom Herman's mentorship.
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2020 Alamo Bowl: Texas vs. Colorado
Pull your goddamn mask over your goddamn face Herman you goddamn moron
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2020 Alamo Bowl: Texas vs. Colorado
If this team has me up past midnight on a goddamn Tuesday night watching the fucking Alamo Bowl then I swear to God I'm going to hang myself.
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West Virginia Mountaineers @ Texas Longhorns - 11AM CDT on ABC [Making Meth vs Herman's slow death]
Wow our offense is dogshit
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Tom "the turtle" Herman [Lame Duck or greatest 5d chess player ever?]
Sooooo hire Mack Brown? Or
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Do we get a first down in the 3Q? Y/N?
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Tom Herman is worse than Donald J Trump: Convince me I'm wrong [NO FOOTBALL]
Don't compare Herman to Trump. One is an arrogant, moronic, anti-charismatic, unwarranted self-important punchline, and the other is the commander-in-chief of the military.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Noone
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Tom Herman is Charlie Strong with a QB.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
I really really really really really really really really really really need to understand why Tom Herman's teams play so well when they're behind in a game, and play like absolute dog shit as soon as they tie it or get a lead.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Can anyone confirm that we actually fired Charlie Strong as our head coach?
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Does anyone know the story of bowl eligibility for this year? I really don't trust us to beat four more teams.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
As long as Spencer Rattler keeps placing the ball directly into our defenders' hands, we should be fine.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
NO MORE MISTAKES
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
THERE WE FUCKING GO GET THAT SHIT BOY WHOOO
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Still completely soft and incompetent. Whatever.
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Jesus fucking Christ Ingram
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Surly Official 2020 TX vs OU Sucks: 11AM on FOX [FUCK OU]
Throw that piece of shit out
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Texas opens as a 16 point favorite v TCU
Better question: how many Zach Evanses would you trade for one Bijan Robinson?
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Fire Mike Yurcich
If you're going to lay the lack of a championship at Sam's feet, and not Todd Orlando's or Tom Herman's, then I don't know what to tell you.
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Fire Mike Yurcich
^ This. If we had the power to trade Sam for any other QB in the conference, is there anyone we'd take on that offer? Would anyone here trade Sam for Jalon Daniels? Max Duggan? Skyler Thompson? Even Spencer Sanders, Brock Purdy, or Spencer Rattler? That'd be a hard pass for me.
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Fire Mike Yurcich
I will do no such thing, you fucking psychopath.
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Fire Mike Yurcich
I wish I could go back to 2015 and discuss how we're two games in, undefeated, our QB has thrown for almost 700 yards, 10 TDs, 1 INT, 71.2%, but we still can't stop crying about our QB.
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No, Mike Leach, YOU'RE awesome! [Pirates Last Voyage]
Also, he's a guy who's incapable of marching to anything except the beat of his own drum. He can't help but say exactly what's on his mind at any given moment in time--part of his charm, admittedly. Admins and boosters at Mississippi State and Washington State might put up with that to get 8-9 wins per season, but Alabama? USC? Texas? That shit wouldn't fly.