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Hank Scorpio

Certifiably Surly
  • Joined

Everything posted by Hank Scorpio

  1. Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it money.
  2. Since we haven’t landed a top DE in over a decade I say we pay whatever it takes to get one.
  3. Im going to apply for the vacant TAMU journalism dean position. As a gay black trans Jewish Libertarian Rastafarian I’ll get tens of millions in a settlement.
  4. When was the last time we got a commit from a top 50 or 75 DE/Edge rusher?
  5. The dog converts to Islam and flies a plane into the World Trade Center.
  6. Screw CRT, we need to teach kids about the Texas Rangers. I was in my 30s when I first heard about the Texas Rangers originally being a group of white trash jihadists who roamed the countryside looking for Indians to murder and were then given the deadliest weapon in the world to do it even better.
  7. Where are the good commits. That’s why I come here. But I don’t see any. Must be the numbers.
  8. Give me back my washing machine you son of a bitch.
  9. Maybe you shouldn’t let a hobo live in your house.
  10. Leon tried to fight some fans but couldn’t catch them as they walked out.
  11. Is 10,000 waves still open? That place is awesome. Shit, I’m an old fuck too.
  12. Bunch of old fucks talking about Santa Fe. Who would have guessed.
  13. I hope you fucking love turquoise.
  14. I call dibs on the Venezuelan part.
  15. The Bear is better than Ted Lasso at being Ted Lasso. 30 minute episodes, character growth, people you root for succeeding, and not an entire season about how Jason Sudekis is sad he’s getting divorced because Harry Styles dicked down Olivia Wilde so hard she left him.
  16. Like I’m going to buy 24 Four Lokos a week from one store.
  17. I am still amazed at how you are all able to get these bottles. I thought to myself “it’s a long weekend, perhaps I’ll pick up a nice bottle of bourbon that all the homosexuals on Surly seem to enjoy” and went to 4 different liquor stores in Houston and they didn’t have shit. I bought some store pick Maker’s Mark and made a Manhattan. It was fine.
  18. I still don’t know what the chief saw in her even if he was a fracking cylon.
  19. Herd is a fucking loser who needs to fuck off to some bullshit conservative DC think tank funded by Raytheon and show up on cable news occasionally arguing why we need to invade Iran.
  20. Velvet taco is fucking garbage and they are all over Houston now. Torchy’s also generally sucks but I have a soft spot for a trashy trailer park.
  21. You forgot about the all the money. Piles and piles of cash. I hear people, especially 18 year olds, fucking love having lots of money.
  22. Definitely don’t drive. Did you hear what happened to Robert Earl Keen’s car?
  23. Player parent groups are super important for recruiting. I’m in a text thread with Trejo and St. Louis’ dads and helped recruit both kids. I mostly just send them funny memes and ask them if they know ctj but they don’t respond.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

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