Everything posted by Hank Scorpio
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Spring Game - 4/20/2024
How many QBs can we start at the same time.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
Ran into the Toia brothers on campus and just handed them my wallet. I don’t want any trouble.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
We need to go after all these DTs in the portal, no matter the cost. Even if some of them never see meaningful snaps it means that other teams don’t get them. I want a 12 deep at DT that costs 5 million dollars a year. It will all pay off when we’re in the playoffs and other teams are starting linebackers at DT because every human over 300 pounds in the portal came to Texas. Chess not checkers.
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2024 Spring Practice to Fall Camp Thread - Who’s a JAG now?
It’s true, Laramie will not be on scholarship next year. We just closed on a huge NIL deal with Pantene that will make Laramie the highest paid shampoo influencer in Travis County. We didn’t want to give up the scholarship at first but it’s going to be given to a player who will be transferring in. I can’t say who but let’s just say that it will be going to a wonderful young man who has been in the transfer portal a few times but is an amazing teammate and even better friend, just ask Harvdog.
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immamac has permabanmed me against bob’s wishes. read this thread before it disappears.
Was Futureman banned? I have him on ignore but if we’re just tossing out bans let’s do some good.
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immamac has permabanmed me against bob’s wishes. read this thread before it disappears.
Everyone treats Derka like shit and then freaks out when he blows up and then we do the same thing all over again. Let’s all just calm down. What I’m trying to say is that Derka is Hamas and Surly is Israel. And I support Hamas. That came out wrong but the point stands.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
We should pay him $1,000,000 and then bench him just because we can.
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$30MM heist in L.A.
Everyone needs money, that’s why they call it money.
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2024 Spring Practice to Fall Camp Thread - Who’s a JAG now?
Is Travis Scott his real name and Cactus Jack his rapper name?
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Texas A&M Recruiting 2025: The Land of Melk & No Money
I don’t even know who Flood is anymore. How do you let the 900 pound guy get away.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
I can fix him.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
This is 100% the schools asking the NCAA to ban the decorating and photo shoots. It’s a huge pain in the ass for the support staffs.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
It’s crazy that this isn’t a bigger story, I can’t find any news articles about it. Unless, someone powerful is covering it up.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
You have to think if we only recruited North Shore and Lake Travis we could beat NFL teams.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
I think the attempted murder is a plus, you rarely see that kind of killer instinct in a defender.
- Midland?
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2024 Texas Football Coaching and Support Staff Thread
If we need a GM there’s only one man for the job
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
I’m basically Brendan Fraser in the Whale wearing a No Fear hat while eating meatball subs and praying for death.
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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread
Her pussy got wet when she saw Kyle field.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
If Sark pulls Will Johnson out of Michigan I will suck his dick on the 50 yard line at the home opener. Hell, even if we don’t get him.
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Texas Recruiting Notes 2025: Duck Around and Find Out
Sounds like Sark has started coasting after making the playoffs, not a single junior day commit. Mack would have locked down 95% of the class already.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
So this nickelback guy is a tight end, Surly supports burnt ends, making it immamac and RB’s fault if we don’t get him.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
We gotta kill Phil Knight.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
Sign him up, I want a full on jihad in the secondary.
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2024 Transfer Thread - The Pedantic Circlejerk
Based on my knowledge of Texas football we still need 1 more big bodied WR. Preferably a guy that plays soft with little to no acceleration who we can chuck fades to out of bounds.